Artemis Fowl: the time paradox

Holly stared in disbelief at the hypodermic dart sticking out of her leg.

‘Not again,’ she moaned, then collapsed to the floor. Butler’s head cleared immediately.

The other intruder did not move an inch.

The little girl is the professional of the two, thought Butler, climbing to his feet. I wonder what this scruffy individual contributes to the partnership.

Artemis quickly saw that he had no choice but to reveal his identity and enlist Butler as an ally.

This will be difficult. I have nothing more than a passing resemblance to my younger self as proof.

Still, he had to try before his plan unravelled utterly.

‘Listen, Butler,’ he began. ‘I have something to tell you …’

Butler didn’t entertain another word. ‘No, no, no,’ he said briskly, shooting Artemis in the shoulder. ‘No more talking from either of you.’

Artemis pulled out the dart, but it was too late. The tiny reservoir of sedative was empty.

‘Butler!’ he gasped, dropping to his knees. ‘You shot me.’

‘Everyone knows my name,’ sighed the bodyguard, bending to sling the intruders over his shoulders.

‘I am intrigued,’ said ten-year-old Artemis Fowl, studying the two individuals in the Bentley’s boot. ‘Something extraordinary has happened here.’

‘Hardly extraordinary,’ said Butler, checking the girl’s pulse. ‘Two thieves somehow broke into the manor.’

‘They bypassed all the security. Not so much as a blip on the motion sensors?’

‘Nothing. I just happened on them during a routine sweep. Hiding in the shadows, wearing cast-offs from the wardrobe.’

Artemis tapped his chin. ‘Hmm. So, you didn’t find their clothes.’

‘Not a stitch.’

‘Which would mean that they broke in here and bypassed security in their underwear.’

‘That is extraordinary,’ admitted Butler.

Artemis took a penlight from his jacket pocket, shining it on Holly, setting the strands of her silver wig sparkling like a disco ball. ‘There’s something about this one. Her bone structure is very unusual. The cheekbones are high — Slavic, perhaps — and the brow is wide and childlike. But the proportion of skull to torso is adult, not infant.’

Butler chuckled low in his throat. ‘So, they’re aliens?’

‘The young man is human, but she’s something else,’ said Artemis thoughtfully. ‘Genetically enhanced, perhaps.’ He moved the beam of light along her cheekbone. ‘See here. The ears are pointed. Amazing.’

Artemis felt an excitement buzzing on his forehead. Something was happening here. Something important. There were surely serious amounts of money to be earned from this situation.

He rubbed his palms briskly. ‘Very well. I cannot be distracted by this now. Long-term, this strange creature could make our fortune, but right now we need to get that lemur.’

Butler was crestfallen, but covered it by slamming the boot. ‘I had hoped we could forget the monkey. I was trained in several forms of martial arts, none of them had a monkey defence.’

‘It’s a lemur, Butler. And I am aware that you believe this operation is beneath us, but my father’s life is at stake.’

‘Of course, Artemis. Whatever you say.’

‘Exactly. So, here is the plan. We will proceed to Rathdown Park as planned and after we have done the deal with the Extinctionists, then I can decide what to do with our two guests. I presume they will be safe in the boot?’

Butler snorted. ‘Are you kidding?’

Artemis did not smile. ‘Perhaps you have not noticed, Butler. I rarely kid.’

‘As you say, young master. You are not a kidder. Maybe some day, eh?’

‘Perhaps when I find my father.’

‘Yes. Perhaps then. Anyway, to answer your question. This is your father’s car and there have been more prisoners in this boot than you’ve had birthdays. Mafiya, Triad, Yakuza, Tijuana Cartel, Hell’s Angels. You name the gang and a couple of them have spent a night in this boot. In fact, your father had it specially modified. There’s air-conditioning, a stay-cool light, soft suspension and even drinking water.’

‘Is it secure? Remember our captives already broke into the manor.’

Butler closed the boot. ‘Titanium lock, reinforced door. No way out whatsoever. Those two are staying in there until we let them out.’

‘Excellent,’ said Artemis, sliding into the Bentley’s rear seat. ‘Just give me a moment to do this one little thing, then let’s forget about them and concentrate on the lemur.’

‘Excellent,’ echoed Butler, and then under his breath: ‘Monkey business. My favourite.’

RATHDOWN PARK, COUNTY WICKLOW, IRELAND

Even though Holly was five kilograms lighter than Artemis, she came to her senses before him. She was glad to be awake, as her dream had been terrible. While asleep, her knees and elbows had struck the metal walls of the Bentley’s boot and she’d imagined herself in an LEP submarine.

Holly lay huddled in the dark, swallowing and blinking to conquer the phobia. Her mother had been mortally injured in a metal box, and now she was inside one.

And it was thoughts of her mother that finally calmed Holly. She opened her eyes, and explored the confined space with her vision and fingertips. It didn’t take long to find the bubble light set into the steel wall. She snapped it on to find Artemis stretched out beside her and the sloping metal sheeting of a boot door curling down past his arm. Her own borrowed shoes rested on the shining curve of a wheel arch. They were inside a vehicle.

Artemis groaned, twitched and opened his eyes.

‘Sell the Phonetix shares,’ he blurted, then remembered Butler and the darts. ‘Holly. Holly?’

Holly patted his leg. ‘It’s OK, Artemis,’ she said in Gnommish, in case the car was bugged. ‘I’m here. Where else could I be?’

Artemis shifted on to his side, flicking back the dense black hair obscuring his features, and spoke in the fairy tongue.

‘We received the same dosage of tranquillizer, and yet you, the lighter person, are awake first. Magic?’

The side of Holly’s face was thrown into deep shadow by the bubble light. ‘Yes. Number One’s signature magic is powerful stuff.’

‘Powerful enough to get us out of here?’

Holly spent a minute exploring the boot’s surface, running her fingertips along each weld in the metal. Finally, she shook her head, silver wig sparkling. ‘Not a weak spot I can find. Even the air-conditioning vent is completely flush. No way out.’

‘Of course not,’ said Artemis. ‘We’re inside the Bentley. The boot is a steel box with a titanium lock.’ He breathed the cool air deeply. ‘How can this have happened? Everything is different. Butler was supposed to have deposited the cage in my study. Instead he creeps in through the bedroom and sedates us both. Now we don’t know where we are, or indeed where the lemur is. Do they have it already?’

Holly pressed one ear to the boot door. ‘I can tell you where we are.’

Outside, the sounds of snuffling and snoring animals drifted on the air. ‘We’re close to animals. A park I would guess, or a zoo.’

‘Rathdown Park,’ exclaimed Artemis. ‘And that fact tells us they do not, in fact, have the lemur. The schedule and situation have changed.’

Holly was thoughtful. ‘We are not in control of this situation any more, Artemis. Perhaps it’s time to admit defeat and return home when your younger self brings us back to the manor. Perhaps you can discover a cure in the future.’

Artemis had been expecting this suggestion. ‘I considered that. The lemur is still our best option and we are metres away from it. Just give me five minutes to get us out of here.’