me sent to a special school for juvenile delinquents.
'Yeah, the dirty, low-down sonovabitch, he turned me into what I am today! Him and that motherfuckin' aunt of mine. 'Cause I couldn't take that school, that prison. I ran off after the first month and I've been shiftin' for myself ever since.
'So now you know, man. Now you know how I got started in my bad habits.'
Here we have an extremely tragic, though not uncommon, case of a mere child being severely punished for an offense committed, instigated, or inspired by adults. Taking advantage of his innocence and childish trust when Billy was but two years old, the neighbor woman who was caring for him took undue liberties with his sex organ. In addition, she invited him, in a coercive way, to take undue liberties with her own sex center. Thus, she planted the seed of a powerful, aberrative sex hunger in him that was to lead, almost inevitably, to his later problems.
The sexual interludes with other children, while not unusual in a general sense, according to Kinsey's surveys, were certainly a direct aftermath of the successive and pleasurable experiences with the baby-sitter. Billy confesses in his dialogue that he actually indulged in cunnilingus and fellatio with a certain little girl who lived down the street from him precisely as he had been taught to do many years before by his wanton and totally selfish adult baby-sitter.
No doubt, Billy was the aggressor where the little girl down the street was concerned, not out of any malintent but out of conviction, either conscious or subconscious, that such activity was what males and females were meant for.
During the therapy session that followed his complete case-history narrative, Billy stated that he never, until his father's savage punishment, thought there was anything morally wrong with cunnilingus and fellatio, regardless of whom it was indulged with, so long as it was done in private. And, ironically, this is the exact view that many of our modern religious leaders and legislators are taking toward all but the most perverted kind of sex.
To bolster Billy's adolescent philosophy with regard to sexual license, his aunt came along and shrouded him with the excitement of her promiscuity. This, it seems, was the clincher that swept away every last vestige of moral guilt; for, if the sister of one's own mother will join in unrestrained sex, how can it possibly be wrong? Such was Billy's perfectly justifiable thinking considering the stage of his development.
But, as Billy's luck would have it, his aunt's seduction of him was a bit more than unrestrained. It included 'the fetishism of pedophilia (seduction of small boys) and the aberration of incest.
Analyzing these two sexual proclivities of the aunt, it is apropos that we refer to the opinion of the noted Parisian psychotherapist, Andre X. Borandeaus, M.D., as quoted in Jay C. Fenmorr's book, Oral Love-Making:
Many young women who practice fellatio, the act of taking the male organ into the mouth, do so because the sensual pleasure this affords them springs from deeply rooted, perhaps even long forgotten psychological needs. Perhaps in extreme cases it is a subconscious urge to castrate, derived from the first childhood experience when the female became aware that the male has an appendage with which she is not equipped. Frequently when small girls discover that there is a difference between the male and female organs, they feel jealous, slighted by nature or perhaps even fantasize that something has 'happened to theirs.' With the bulk of an erect phallus in her mouth, the female, possibly subconsciously, realizes that it is in her power to bite it, perhaps even sever it with her teeth… Another motivating factor is presumed to be that in some childishly oriented way, the penis, at least slightly, resembles a huge nipple. It also represents the staff of life, the means by which a male impregnates a female, the means by which the life fluid is issued… In many instances, especially where there is deep affection on the part of the female for the male involved, her enjoyment comes from the obvious fact that she is giving him such great pleasure in a different way.
In other words, there are many deeply rooted and powerful psychological factors involved in a woman's reasons for wanting a male penis in her mouth, and, as we note from the observations of other authorities on the subject, these factors very often are powerful enough to override all inhibition, even that of incest.
But why are minor children so often the target of these strong sex drives of older women? Why aren't they directed toward mature men who are much more accessible, more willing, and more bountifully endowed? Various psychiatric studies have come up with a great plethora of answers to cover an equally great plethora of differing cases, but it would appear that the most compelling motivation factors are increased opportunity for domination; freedom of expression; secrecy; thrill of perversion; self-debasement; and assumed maternalism.
In other words, a woman who is sexually attracted to small boys may be motivated by one or a combination of several of these driving forces. Also, she may be an extremely intelligent and cultured woman, controlled to some degree by strong perverse impulses; or she may be ignorant to the point of having a child's mentality, controlled by a simple wish to enjoy relations with others on her own immature plane.
Whatever the reasons for the assaults on Billy's youthful innocence, they brought about quite a dilemma in his process of growing up, as we note in the following conclusion of his narrative:
'I jus’ turned twelve when I split from that school for bad boys. There was six hours, somethin' like that, before the next roll call, so I had that much head start before they'd start lookin' for me. That was all I needed, man, to hitch a ride and put a lotta miles behind me. I got a lift with an old farmer the first hundred miles, and then a rich middle-aged dame in a big Caddy picked me up. I told her I was graduated from high school and was headin' out to find work. And damned if she didn't believe me! Yeah, man, I guess I did look a little older than I really was.
'Me and Mrs. Gotlotsarocks I called her that 'cause she wore a lotta jewelry got along beautiful. She was a widow, she said, and a little lonely. She even copped to me that she couldn't have any kids, on account of some kind of operation she'd had. In fact, man, she practically told me her whole life history and I told her almost all of mine that's how much we rapped while we rode along. Some of the stuff I told her was lies, naturally, but some of it was the truth, too.
'I even told Ida that was her real first name ‘bout that business with my baby-sitter when I was a two- year-old, and what I'd done with my aunt, leavin' out the part ‘bout my old man catchin' us. Yeah, and you know what, man? That really turned the old bitch on, gettin' her all horny for me. She said, 'Gracious me, Billy, you shouldn't tell me such things. That kind of talk gets me… excited.’
'Well, shit, I was gettin' kinda excited myself, thinkin' ‘bout all the times I had my cock sucked and all the times I ate pussy. But mostly, man, I was gettin' hot from lookin' at Ida's bare legs, white as snow and plump as a Thanksgivin' turkey. While she was drivin', she didn't give one little damn how far up her dress was slippin'. Underneath her thin, lacy blouse I could see that she had big, balloon tits, and I really dug them, too. Then she told me what made her tits balloon out like that.
'Hey, man, are ya ready for this? Ida had a baby three months old. She'd left her baby with some relative when she took off on this trip. She was still fresh with milk from havin' that baby her old man had given her jus' before he kicked off. And she wasn't gonna be drivin' back to her home and baby for ‘bout two more weeks not till she finished some business across the state.
'Damn, when I heard that, my mouth started waterin' like everything! I had to swallow every minute to keep it from runnin’ down my chin. All I could think of was suckin' on those big tits and drinkin' that milk. Jeez, man, she musta had a gallon in each one! Thinkin' of all that good drinkin' milk and the good eatin’ pussy up between her fat, soft legs was gettin' my cock harder than a damn baseball bat. She couldn't help but see it, that big cock of mine, a-pushin' my pants up.
'My, my, what's that I see?' she said, lookin' down at my lap with a great big smile. 'Why, I do believe you've got a hard on, Billy. A big, big hard on.’
'Yes'm, I can't help it.’
'Oh, that's all right, dear. No need to feel embarrassed. I think it looks pretty. You know, I've been thinking; maybe you'd like to stay with me until I finish my business. My brother's wife is Spanish and rather dark complected, so I could tell people that you're my nephew. You could stay right with me in my motel. Would you like that, Billy, staying with me for the next two weeks? I'll treat you real nice.’
'Yes'm, I sure would like that!’
'Good. Then it's all settled.’
'The cunt! She was wantin' to get at my body as much as I was wantin' to get at hers maybe more. And thank God, man, we didn't have long to wait. In ‘bout another hour, we pulled into the town where she had business to do and the super-deluxe motel where she had reservations was all ready and waitin'.
'Yeah, man, and check this: As soon as we get in the motel and the door is closed, this Ida bitch turns to me
