you need to. . you can't. '
'I didn't do anything, Todd, Calm down.' Ryan grabbed him again by the shoulders. 'Penny and I are just friends. I'd never do anything with her. You should know me better than that!'
Yeah, and I should've known better than to have gone to this party. to make matters worse, Missy came running over. She threw her arms around Ryan and said, 'Hey, sexy — I've been looking all over for you!' I took Tracy's hand and walked out to the car. Diane helped buckle her in as I adjusted the rearview mirror. Ryan came running over to the car (he somehow managed to escape from Missy's claws) and tapped on the window. I lowered it.
'Sorry about that. I didn't want to give him any reason to be more upset.'
'It's fine,' I started to fiddle with Tracy's radio.
'Are you mad?'
I took a deep breath, I didn't know what I was.
'No, I'm fine, really. this evening has been a complete disaster.'
'Oh,' he replied in a softer voice. 'Well, I had fun.'
'Well, good for you.'
I turned on the engine and drove away.
THINGS WERE A BIT AWKWARD the following morning. Tracy was hungover and miserable. Diane was coming over to talk, and I had a feeling it was about what she'd seen between me and Ryan.
'Hey, how's Tracy feeling?' Diane said as she entered my bedroom.
'Not so hot. She's in the shower now.' I nodded toward the hallway. 'there was no way I could've brought her home last night.
I was able to sneak her in!' Diane was looking around. 'Wow, I forgot how cool your room is.'
I looked around at the Beatles posters that lined my walls and the bulletin board full of old concert signs and ticket stubs. I guess it was pretty cool. Mostly it was just home.
'Well, I'm glad I have a few minutes alone with you, because there is something that I need to tell you!' Diane sat on my bed and looked nervous. 'there's nothing going on between me and Ryan!' I blurted out.
'What?' Diane replied.
I started pacing my room. 'I was so miserable when I got to the party, and when he suggested going outside and getting away from it all, I just went along with it, I mean, he's a guy, the enemy. Not to mention the guy who broke your heart. I would never — and I mean never — do anything with him.'
Diane shook her head. 'I know that. I was a little surprised when I saw the two of you.' She laughed. 'It was a little uncomfortable, but you two have always been friends. What I really wanted to talk to you about was Tracy. You see… I saw Paul kissing someone else at the party.'
Uh-oh.
'I got there with Audrey and Pam, and I needed to go to the bathroom. So I went upstairs, and I walked in on him. .'
Tracy was definitely going to kill the messenger for this one.
I lay down on my bed. 'this is going to be ugly!' I warned Diane.
'She was really hoping he was going to ask her out.'
Diane shifted uncomfortably and started playing with the frayed end of one of my bed pillows.
'Much better!' Tracy came barging into my room with a towel on her head and collapsed onto the bed. 'Okay, time to figure out what we're going to do about the complete ass I made out of myself. I don't think Paul is ever going to ask me out now.'
Diane and I stared at each other, not sure what to say.
Tracy looked exhausted. 'Okay, okay. I know, guys, and I'm so sorry.'
What exactly did she know?
'First.' She turned to Diane. 'I'm sorry I was rude to you. I've been trying to be a good and understanding friend. And I know, I know… I shouldn't have had any beer but I gave into peer pressure. I've turned into a sad after-school special, blah, blah, blah. ,' Tracy covered her face with her hands, 'Just please don't tell me that Paul ended up hooking up with one of those freshman girls.'
Diane looked at me. 'No, he didn't. ,'
Tracy sat up a little too quickly, so she had to lie back down, curling up on her side and propping her head up with her hand. 'that's great. I thought I really blew it. .,' Silence. I looked over at Diane and saw the look of pure panic in her face.
Tracy wrinkled her eyebrows. 'Watt, what's going on?' She looked at the two of us. 'What aren't you guys telling me? Did Paul hook up with somebody last night?'
Diane looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders. I wanted to know who it was. Especially since that girl needed to be put into protective custody once Tracy found out.
Before Diane could even say anything, Tracy rolled onto her stomach and put a pillow over her head. 'I knew it Why would he be interested in me?'
I yanked the pillow off her. 'Tracy, that's ridiculous. I've told you time and time again that a guy would be lucky to have someonelike you in his life.'
She rolled her eyes, 'What to the evs — I want Paul Why doesn't he like me? Am I fat?'
'Tracy! Stop that!'
'What then?' I could see tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. 'tell me what it is and I'll change it — my hair, my eye color, my clothes, my personality. What is it about me that he doesn't like?'
Diane hesitantly moved toward Tracy and put her hand on Tracy's shoulder. 'it's none of those things. it's something you cant fix.'
Tracy sniffled and turned around to face us. 'What does that mean?'
'It means that you're not a guy,' Diane said. 'I walked in on him and Kevin Parker kissing!' Oh. My. God.
Tracy sat up and wiped the tears away.
'What?' She looked confused. 'Who?'
Diane shifted uncomfortably. 'Paul Levine and Kevin Parker.'
Tracy stared at the ground, 'You're telling me that numbers one and three on my list were making out? And that Kevin Parker, superstar jock who I've worshipped for years, is gay?'
Diane looked scared. 'I only know what I saw.'
'Well!' Tracy started shaking her head. 'Well, I guess that explains it.'
I was confused. 'Explains what?'
'that everybody in school has had a boyfriend, except for me.
Even Kevin frickin' Parker has a boyfriend!' Tracy started to laugh. 'Oh, this is so priceless. I mean, I'm running out of guys to even put on a list, let alone date!' Tracy's smile began to fade.
'I'm such a freak.'
I tried to protest, but Tracy cut me off. 'Mike always has a girlfriend — he hooked up with some Michelle chick last weekend at some stupid freshman party and now they're dating.
Michael and Michelle,' She rolled her eyes again. 'Puke!* 'See, Tracy, this is exactly why I've given up boys entirely.' I pretended to wipe my hands clean. 'Done. Moving on. Not worth the trouble.'
And as if Nate could tell I was trying to move on, my cell phone went off t peered at it with hesitation.
Tracy got up. 'this is ridiculous.' She flipped open my phone and read the text, 'I can't believe U R being so childish. is he serious?
What a jerk.'
Tracy's fingers started working my phone.
'What are you doing?' I asked in panic. 'Just delete it.'
'No — I'm telling him what's what.'
My stomach dropped.
