figured I might as well go to the old standby. I flipped to the B section of the songs and started going through the Beatles, when I spotted it.
Perfect.
Okay, so I was no Paul, John, or George, but maybe, just maybe, I could be Ringo.
I reluctantly got up on the stage, and as the Club began to cheer, I gave them all a glare. Traitors. My hands were shaking as I scanned the crowd — it seemed like the entire school was here.
Toward the back I saw Ryan clapping for me. I began to smile until I noticed who was standing right next to him — Missy.
How could he be around her after everything that had happened?
And, more important, what on earth was I doing up onstage?
Jen grabbed the microphone. 'Thank you all so much for coming to this fund-raiser for the team. All the profits from tonight's event will help pay for our new uniforms. So don't be shy, and come up and request your songs. Kicking off tonight's festivities is none other than Miss Penny Lane Bloom!'
I heard cheering, but stared at the monitor, trying to control my breathing. I didn't need the lyrics to this song, but I couldn't stand to look out to the audience. There was hardly an introduction to the song, and before I knew it I was singing, asking everyone what they would do if I sang out of tune — would they stand up and walk out on me?
So far, no.
Although if I kept singing, that most certainly would happen and, really, would that have necessarily been a bad thing?
I closed my eyes and just moved back and forth as I sang the song. I looked out to the front row, Please help me. I was not only begging, I was actually singing for help. the audience started to clap along.
I strutted over to the side where Tracy and Diane were sitting and cheering me on. I pointed to them as I continued to sing about getting by with a little help from my friends. I motioned for them to join me on the stage.
Diane got the hint and got up and dragged Tracy along. Morgan and Amy followed, and even Erin came up onstage — never one to turn down a spotlight.
We all gathered around the microphone, and the rest of the Club members got on their feet and clapped in time with the song. I grabbed the other microphone and headed out into the audience.
I started dancing around with the other girls. they all started taking turns singing.
And yes, I somehow got by with a little help from my friends. the song ended and a roar erupted from the crowd. I joined everybody back onstage and we high-fived each other. Jen was jumping up and down as a line starred to form for people to request songs.
We heard everything from girls singing along to boy-band pop to the football team doing a very off-key rendition of 'We Are the Champions.' Even Morgan and Tyson did a cute duet. The Club couldn't get enough. But most important, Jen was raking in the money.
Morgan, Eileen, Meg, and Kara finished singing 'We Are Family,' and we were on our feet again.
I sat down next to Tracy and stole a chip from her bag. 'Oh my God, Penny,' she said.
'Relax, Tracy, it's just a chip.'
She pointed to the stage. I saw Ryan standing up there by himself. I started to laugh — was he trying to prove to the whole school how completely imperfect he was? He looked down at me and winked.
'What's the big deal?' I asked.
Tracy looked at me with wide eyes. 'Did you see the song he picked?' the music started and my heart dropped.
I recognized the song instantly.
How could I not?
I was named after it.
The entire Club looked over at me as Ryan started singing 'Penny Lane.' incredibly off-key. I wanted to feel embarrassed for him as he struggled with the first verse, but I was trying to control the emotion on my face as the entire room kept switching their stares from Ryan to me.
I had to concentrate on breathing, I was so overwhelmed and touched. I couldn't believe this was happening, that Ryan would do this in front of the entire school.
He liked me. He really, really liked me.
And I liked him. I really, really liked him.
I could no longer deny my feelings and tell myself that I couldn't risk the Club. How could I not want to be with someone like Ryan? How much longer was I going to fight it? How much longer was I going to lie to myself?
The first verse ended and Ryan stepped back, looking like he knew what a mistake he'd made. It was heartbreaking in so many ways. Diane suddenly popped out of her seat to help him. A second later Tracy joined him, followed by the majority of the Lonely Hearts Club. Ryan looked instantly relieved to have the backup help. I knew exactly how he felt.
I also knew that there were going to be so many rumors after this.
But at that moment, I didn't care. This was the single best thing a guy had ever done for me.
Granted, 'Penny Lane' wasn't a grand love song, but to me it was the most romantic gesture a person could make. the song ended, and I gave the group a standing ovation. Looking at everybody, except Ryan, I had a slight panic attack. What was I supposed to do now'? Maybe since the entire Club had joined in, people wouldn't focus on me and Ryan?
Highly unlikely.
Ryan got off the stage and headed over to me, 'if you couldn't guess,' he said, 'that song was for you.'
I smiled, not knowing what exactly to say to him.
'All right, there is only time for one last song,' Jen announced.
'Penny?'
'I've, uh, got to go,' I said, but squeezed Ryan's hand before I headed up.
The last song kicked in and the entire Club was up onstage singing 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.'
We hope that you enjoyed the show.
TRACY, DIANE, JEN, LAURA, AND I walked out to the parking lot with a feeling of success.
'You guys, we raised over three thousand dollars! People were actually giving me more money so they could move up in the line,' Jen said as she held on to the envelope of cash with all her might.
'That's fantastic, Jen — congratulations!' Diane said.
'Well, look who it is. Miss Penny God Damn Street!' We turned to see Todd, with the standard coupling of Brian and Pam, Don and Audrey. Ryan was right behind him. Missy was there, too. But it was unclear whether she was with Ryan or Todd… or just hanging on.
Ryan tried to grab Todd's shoulder, but he shrugged it off 'Todd, are you drunk?' Diane said, unimpressed.
'Get bent, Diane.' Todd, was dearly drunk, weaving between the cars. I hadn't seen him for most of the evening. I was sure I would've heard his booing during my song. . and Ryan's.
Ryan, once again, tried to bring Todd, back to the car, and this time Todd, pushed him. 'Ryan, you're so pathetic.'
'Oh, sure, he's the pathetic one.' it took me a second to realize that came from me. Todd, was suddenly in my face.
'Stay out of it, Bauer. This is between me and the dyke.'
I tried to pull my face away from Todd's horrible breath. 'What are you even talking about, Todd,?' I asked- Ryan came over and I just snapped. 'I can handle myself, Ryan.' He backed away, but kept his hands in fists as if
