The Source of Magic
Pierce Anthony
Chapter 1
Closet Skeleton
The magic-sniffer ambled toward Bink, its long limber snout snuffling industriously. When the creature reached him it went into a frenzy of enthusiasm, snorting out flutelike notes, wagging its bushy tail, and prancing in a circle.
'Sure, I like you too, Sniffer!' Bink said, squatting to embrace it. The creature's snout kissed his nose wetly. 'You were one of the first to believe in my magic, when-'
Bink paused, for the creature was acting strangely. It had stopped frisking and become subdued, almost frightened. 'What's the matter, little friend?' Bink asked, concerned. 'Did I say something to hurt your feelings? I apologize!' But the sniffer curled its tail between its legs and slunk away. Bink stared after it, chagrined. It was almost as if the magic had been turned off, causing the thing to lose its function. But Bink's talent, like all others, was inherent; it could not dissipate while he lived. Something else must have frightened the sniffer.
Bink looked about, feeling uneasy. To the east was the Castle Roogna orchard, whose trees bore all manner of exotic fruit, vegetables, and sundry artifacts like cherry bombs and doorknobs. To the south was the untamed wilderness of Xanth. Bink remembered how that jungle had herded him and his companions in here, seeming so menacing, way back when. Today the trees were basically friendly; they had only wanted a Magician to stay and make Castle Roogna great again. King Trent had done that. Now the considerable power of this region exerted itself for the benefit of the kingdom. Everything seemed to be in order.
Well, on with his business. There was to be a ball tonight, and his shoes were badly worn. He proceeded to the edge of the orchard where a stray shoe-tree had rooted. Shoes liked to move about, and often planted themselves in out-of-the-way places.
This one had several ripe shoes. Bink inspected individual ones without plucking them, until he was sure he had found a pair that fit him. Then he twisted them off, shook out the seeds, and put them carefully on his feet. They were quite comfortable, and looked nice because they were fresh.
He started back, walking with exaggerated motion to break in the shoes without scuffing them, his mind still nagged by the episode with the magic-sniffer. Was it an omen? Omens always came true, here in the Land of Xanth, but it was seldom possible to understand them properly until too late. Was something bad going to happen to him? That really seemed unlikely; Bink knew it was no exaggeration to assume that serious evil would have to fall on all Xanth before Bink himself was harmed. So it must be a misreading. The magic-sniffer had merely suffered a fit of indigestion, and had to scoot off.
Soon Bink was within sight of his home. It was a fine cottage cheese just off the palace grounds, which he had moved into when he married. The rind had long since hardened and lost the better part of its flavor, and the walls were fine-grained creamy-yellow petrified cheese. It was one of the most tasteful cottages in existence, but since he hadn't hollowed it out himself he didn't see fit to brag about it.
Bink took a deep breath, nerved himself, and opened the front rind-door. A sweetish waft of seasoned cheese blew out, together with a raucous screech.
'That you, Bink? About time! Where did you sneak off to, right when there's work to be done! You have no consideration at all, do you!'
'I needed shoes,' he said shortly.
'Shoes!' she exclaimed incredulously. 'You have shoes, idiot!'
His wife was much smarter than he, at the moment, Chameleon's intelligence varied with the time of month, as did her appearance. When she was beautiful, she was stupid-in the extreme, for both. When she was smart, she was ugly. Very smart and very ugly. At the moment she was at the height of the latter phase. This was one reason she was keeping herself secluded, virtually locked in her room.
'I need good-looking ones, tonight,' he said, mustering patience. But even as the words were out he realized he had phrased it badly; any reference to good looks set her off. 'The hell you do, dunce!'
He wished she wouldn't keep rubbing in his inferior Intelligence. Ordinarily she was smart enough not to do that. Bink knew he was no genius, but he wasn't Subnormal either; she was the one who was both. 'I have to attend the Anniversary Ball,' he explained, though of course she already knew that. 'It would be an insult to the Queen if I attended sloppily dressed.'
'Dolt!' she screamed from her hideaway. 'You're attending in costume! No one will see your stinking shoes!'
Oops, that was right. He had made his trip for nothing.
'But that's all too typical of your selfishness,' she continued with righteous ire. 'Bugging off to the party to have a good time while I suffer home alone, chewing on the walls.' That was literal; the cheese was old and hard, but she gnawed on it when she got angry, and she was angry most of the time now.
Still, he tried to be positive. He had only been married a year, and he loved Chameleon. He had known at the outset that there would be good times and bad times, and this was a bad time. A very bad time. 'Why don't you come to the ball too, dear?'
She exploded with cynical wrath. 'Me? When I'm looking like this? Spare me your feebleminded sarcasm!'
