'You're out of the running, then,' Crombie said. 'The leading contestant has twelve.' He glanced at Chester. 'You?'
'I didn't want the prize anyway,' the centaur said
'You folk haven't been trying,' Crombie said. 'If I'd been out there, instead of stuck here running errands for the Queen-'
'I thought you liked this palace job,' Bink said. He had first encountered Crombie when the man soldiered for the prior King.
'I like it-but I like adventure better. The King's okay, but-' Crombie scowled. 'Well, you know the Queen.'
'All fillies are difficult,' Chester said. 'It's their nature; they can't help it, even if they wanted to.'
'Right you are!' Crombie agreed heartily. He was original woman-hater. 'And the ones with the biggest magic-who else would have dreamed up idiocy of a masquerade? She just wants to show off her sorcery.'
'She hasn't got much else to show off,' Chester said. ' The King pays no attention to her.'
'The King's one smart Magician!' Crombie agreed. 'When she's not making mischief like this, this palace guard duty is dull as hell. I wish I were out on a man's mission, like the time when Bink and I-'
Bink smiled reminiscently. 'Wasn't that Technicolor hailstorm something? We camped out under the quiescent tangle tree-'
'And the girl ran off,' Crombie agreed. 'Those were the days!'
Surprised, Bink found himself agreeing. The adventure had not seemed like fun at the time, but in retrospect it had a certain twilight luster. 'You told me she was a threat to me.'
'And she was,' Crombie said. 'She married you, didn't she?'
Bink laughed, but it was a trifle forced. 'We'd better get on in before the refreshments are gone.' He turned-and almost stumbled over another little mound of dirt 'You have moles around the palace?' he inquired with a certain edge.
Crombie squinted at the dirt. 'That wasn't there a moment ago. Maybe a magic mole was attracted by the party. I'll notify the head grounds keeper, when I get off shift'
Bink and Chester moved on in. The palace ballroom had been decorated by Queen Iris, naturally. It was an undersea setting, with streamers of seaweed rising from the rocky deeps, and brightly colored fish swimming through, and barnacles on the walls. Here and there were subaqueous beaches of fine white sand, which shifted location magically, so that if a person stood still the scenery would come to him. A large serpentine sea monster coiled around the entire area, its pulsing, convoluted coils showing here and there in lieu of the walls.
Chester glanced around. 'She's a bitch, and she shows off, but I have to admit her magic is impressive. But I'm worried about the quantity of food; if there isn't enough-'
There turned out to be no danger of a shortage. The refreshments were mountainous, and under the personal guard of Queen Iris. She had a picklepuss on a little leash. Whenever someone had the temerity to take a delicacy, the picklepuss pickled it. 'No one eats it until the grand prize is awarded,' Iris announced, glaring about. Since she had garbed herself as a warrior-queen-mermaid, complete with spiked crown, trident, and powerful tail, and the points of the trident glistened with a coating of slime that was probably illusion too but just might possibly be genuine poison, this was an effective enough deterrent even without the picklepuss.
Bink and Chester separated, mixing with the other guests. Just about every creature of note in Xanth was present, except for Chester's filly Cherie, who was no doubt still wrapped up in the colt, and Bink's Chameleon, wrapped up in her misery. And the Good Magician Humfrey, who never socialized voluntarily.
Bink spotted his father Roland, down from the North Village. Roland was careful not to embarrass Bink by any overt show of affection; They shook hands
'Nice shoes, son.'
This was nevertheless a miscue, after the scene with Chameleon. 'Fresh from the tree,' Bink said awkwardly.
'What have you been doing these past few months?' Bubbles rose from Roland's mouth as he spoke, quivering spherically as they sought the surface of the ocean. When Queen Iris put on an illusion, it was some illusion! Ordinary citizens, with their motley individual magic talents, could only look upon the works of the Sorceress and despair. Which was, of course, why the Queen was putting on this show.
'Oh, practicing with the sword, tilling the garden, that sort of thing,' Bink said.
'I understand Chameleon is expecting momentarily.'
'That, too,' Bink said, again experiencing the frustration of his situation.
'A son will help fill the house.'
Provided it turned out to be a normal, talented son. Bink changed the subject. 'We have a delicate young slipper plant just blossoming; I think it will bear her first pair of slippers soon.'
'The ladies will be pleased,' Roland said gravely, as if this were significant news. Suddenly Bink realized that he had very little to show for his past year. What had he accomplished? Virtually nothing. No wonder he felt out of sorts!
The illumination dimmed. It was as if dusk were falling, causing the sea to darken, too. But the diffused daylight was replaced by nocturnal fluorescence. The flotation sacs on the seaweed glowed like little lamps, and the neon-coral was brightly outlined in assorted colors. Even the puffy sponges emitted wan beams. The animal life had sharper light, with electric eels flashing searchlight beams, and assorted fish shone translucently. The overall effect was bewilderingly beautiful.
