I didn't understand, but I didn't tell Tania that because I didn't want her to think I was stupid.
Then something really unreal happened.
We had a nice ficus tree on our front lawn, and one morning Mother asked me to give it a good soaking with the hose because the leaves were beginning to look dried out and the tips were yellow. So after she left to go shopping, that's what I was doing when this great silver Infiniti pulled up in front of our house.
The guy driving it lowered his window and motioned to me. I went over but not too close because I didn't want to be kidnapped and held for ransom.
But the man didn't look like a kidnapper. I mean he was well-dressed and all, and he didn't try to drag me into the car or anything like that. And he was smiling.
'Hiya, sonny,' he said. 'Hot work on a hot dayright?
'Yes, sir,' I said.
'Say,' he said, 'am I at the right place? Is this Mabel Barrow's home?' , I nodded.
'Glad to hear I'm not lost,' he said, still smiling. 'Do you know if Mabel is home?'
'No, she's gone into town.'
'You sure?' he said.
'Sure, I'm sure,' I said. 'She's my mother so I should know.'
'No kidding?' he said. 'You're Mabel's son? Well, I'll be damned.
What's your name?'
'Chet. It's really Chester, but I like Chet better.'
'So do I, Chet,' the man said. 'And your father is Gregory Barrow-right?
I nodded again.
'And I suppose he's at his job out at Mcwhortle Laboratory.
Am I batting four hundred?'
'Uh-huh,' I said. 'He won't be back until tonight.'
'Sorry I missed him,' the man said. 'I'm an old friend of your father's. We went to chemistry school together. Well, I'll just have to come back another time.'
'What's your name?' I asked him. 'So I can tell my folks you came by while they were out.'
'Listen, Chet,' he said, 'you like surprises, don't you? '
' Some.
'Well, what I want to do is surprise your mother and father.
You know, just walk in on them some night unexpectedly. I haven't seem them in years. Will they ever be amazed! So what I'd like you to do is not tell them I stopped by this morning. Because that would spoil my surprise. Okay?'
'Sure,' I said. 'I won't tell them.'
'Atta-boy,' he said, still smiling. He dug in his pocket and took out some money. He held a five dollar bill out to me.
'Here,' he said, 'this is for being so helpful.'
'Nah,' I said, 'that's all right.'
'Take it,' he insisted. 'Buy your girlfriend some ice cream.
You've got a girlfriend, haven't you?'
'Sort of,' I said.
'Sure you do,' he said. 'A good-looking dude like you.
Take the money, Chet. You deserve it because you've been so polite and you're not going to tell your mother and father I was here and ruin the surprise.'
'Okay,' I said.
So I took the five dollars, and he waved and drove away. I looked at the bill. It had Abraham Lincoln's picture on it. I knew who he was.
I put the money in my pocket and decided I wouldn't buy ice cream with it until Tania and I got to Disney World.
DR. CHERRY NOBLE made no decision, I planned nothing, and yet I suddenly became aware that I was spending more and more time with Chas Todd. I'd drive out to his studio two or three evenings a week, and sometimes visited on Saturday or Sunday afternoon.
He never invited me, exactly, but always seemed pleased when I arrived and regretful when I left. I felt much the same way for I enjoyed his company, his interest in my opinions, and the giveand-take of our frequent disagreements. Our arguments might have been spirited but they never became embittered. We differed on everything from the best wine for linguine and clam sauce to the influence of feminism on the fashion industry.
I was conscious of a growing intimacy, and I think Chas was, too. I don't mean physical, for our contacts never went beyond a light kiss.
But we became increasingly comfortable in each other's presence, silences didn't embarrass us, and we both developed a heightened sensitivity to the other's moods.
The subject of his impotence was never mentioned, and gradually it became 'no big deal' to both of us. I must confess that during that summer I decided to make his studio more habitable and attractive. I have never been domestic, but I was offended by the primitive conditions in which he seemed content to live and work.
I insisted he buy new glassware, china, and cutlery. I had cheerful curtains and drapes made for his windows. I suggested he make his bed each morning and use a patterned satin coverlet since the bed was in plain view of visitors. I also persuaded him to purchase a few comfortable chairs for guests and a table he could use for dining rather than his cluttered desk.
'When are you going to put chintz ruffles on my wheelchair?' he asked.
He affected to treat the improvements with amused scorn, but I think he secretly was delighted, not only with the refurbishment of his home but with the wifely interest I was taking in his wellbeing. He might have joked about my efforts at interior decoration, but I noticed he was shaving every day, keeping his hair trimmed (via a barber's house calls), and his fingernails were reasonably clean. He also made arrangements with a florist to have a fresh gladiolus delivered every week.
'My brother says the place is beginning to look like a New Orleans cathouse,' he remarked.
This conversation occurred the day after Herman Todd consulted me. It was an opening I welcomed and had no compunction using.
'Herman should know,' I said lightly. 'I imagine he's spent a lot of time in bordellos.' , 'There you're wrong, doc,' Chas said. 'My goofy brother is the kind of guy who'd never pay for sex. He thinks if you have to pay for it, it's a sign of failure. He prefers making a conquest.
After all, he is a salesman.
'You make him sound like a predator.'
'Maybe he is, in a way.'
'Chas, I have a theory about men like that. Listen and tell me what you think. It's not really sexual pleasure they're seeking, it's the chase and the eventual surrender that excite them. That's why they're inveterate womanizers.'
'An interesting idea,' he said slowly. 'You're saying they get their jollies from the hunt?'
'Something like that. And they go from prey to prey. if 'If you're right, Cherry, then a man like that should never marry. A long, stable relationship with one woman would bore him to tears. Or else he'd become a compulsive cheater.'
'Do you think that describes your brother?'
'Too close for comfort. How about mixing us a nice, dry gin martini, sharp and cold. Use the new glasses.'
I mixed our drinks, brought Chas his usual double, and curled up in a new armchair facing him.
'Why do you think Herman is like that?' I asked.
He thought a moment. 'Hard to say. It started when he was in high school. Even then he was chasing skirts. His nickname was Hotrocks.
I think he was proud of it.'
'But why, Chas?'
