pleasures she hadn't sampled yet, g, and able to and Herman Todd was ready, willing to share them with her.
My wife was a gourmet cook, and she went all ut on that dinner, gazpacho, pasta with black olives and scallions, lamb chops with an herb crust and ions and shoefresh mint sauce, caramelized on string candied sweet potatoes, mile-high apple pie. I provided the wine, including a duplicate of the anniversary bottle I had smashed. I hoped it would make amends, but Marleen didn't even notice.
It was a fantastic meal, but the pice de resistance as far as I was concerned was Mabel Barrow, a piece I couldn't resist.
She wore a tight embroidered dress ith a neckline that just wasn't there, and I kept waiting (and hoping) for one of her boobs to plop into the soup.
There were six of us at the table, including the kids. Both Tania and Chet were finicky eaters, but they admitted it was a super dinner and cleaned their plates. After dessert the kids disappeared somewhere, and the four of us sat around awhile and chatted as we finished the wine.
Then Gregory and Marleen started talking shop, and Mabel and I wandered out to the backyard where I could smoke a cigar. Marleen didn't let me do it in the house. it was a gorgeous Summer night, just cool enough to be comfortable. it wasn't a full moon, but there to was enough of it so I could see the gleam of Mabel's semi-exposed balloons.
'That's a great dress you're almost wearing,' I told her. , 'You like it?' she said, pleased.
'Love it,' I assured her. 'I'd buy Marleen something like it but it would be a waste of money, she'd never fill it the way you do.'
'I'm glad you approve,' Mabel said. 'I wore it to a cocktail party last Saturday, and I got a lot of compliments.
'And passes from the guys,' I guessed.
By that time we had strolled to the end of the backyard and were standing near a little herb garden Marleen had planted.
'Have you been thinking about it?' I asked her in a low voice.
'Thinking about what?'
'Don't play games, Mabel. You and me.'
'You said you were going to move out and get a motel room,' she reminded me. 'But you're still here.
'That doesn't change how I feel about you. I found a motel.
How about it?'
'Where is it?'
'The motel? Down near Lauderdale. Way off in the boondocks.
Nothing elegant, but it's clean and away from everything. No one would ever spot us. We could meet there.
She didn't say anything.
'Look,' I said, 'I guess you know you drive me nuts. I don't think of anything but you. Even in my dreams. When you walked in tonight, I thought my knees were going to buckle. That's how you affect me. Do you ever think about me that way?'
'Yes,' she said. 'Frequently. But I'm scared.'
'Nothing to be scared about, I told her. 'No one's going to find out.
Nothing's going to change-except us. it'll be great for both of us, I just know.'
Again she didn't reply. But I've been a salesman all my life, and I know the first rule of successful huckstering, Keep talking.
'I Greg such a great lover?' I asked her.
No, she said, 'he isn't.'
'Well, I am,' I said. 'And that's not bragging, it's the truth. I know how to pleasure a woman. Things I'll bet you've never even thought of.'
'You're getting to me, Herm,' she said with a throaty laugh.
'If I decide it's a go-and notice I say if-how do we manage it?'
'Easiest thing in the world. We pick a time that's right for both of us. I'll give you the address and directions how to get there. You drive out in your own car. I'll get there first and be waiting for you.
Believe me, you'll have no hassle at the desk. You're just visiting a guest at the motel-me. I'll be using my own name. That's how sure I am that we'll have no problems.'
'I'm still scared,' she said. 'I've shacked up at motels, but that was when I was single. I've never cheated on Greg before.'
'What he doesn't know won't hurt him.'
'Yeah,' she said, 'I guess you're right.'
'Life is short, Mabel,' I urged her. 'Let's grab a little fun while we can.'
'I'm all for that,' she said. 'But now I think we better get back inside, or they'll start thinking we're grabbing a little out here.'
We went back inside, and the Barrows finally left about eleven o'clock.
Tania had already gone to bed,, and I helped Marleen clean up the kitchen. I told her what a great dinner it was.
'Thank you,' she said, and went upstairs to the master bedroom.
I stayed downstairs, kicked off my shoes, and mixed myself a big brandy and soda. I flopped into an easy chair and reviewed my sales pitch to Mabel Barrow. I figured it was right on target and a done deal.
I expected to feel the usual excitement and sense of triumph I get when I know I've scored, but for some reason I didn't feel those things that night. To tell you the truth, I was a little depressed. Maybe if Mabel had made more objections, I would have enjoyed my victory more.
I always liked selling an insurance policy to a prospect who starts out by saying no and ends up a client saying yes.
But Mabel never said no. With her it was 'maybe' from the start, and it doesn't take a dynamite salesman to convert maybe to yes. I'm not saying she was a pushover, but there was no challenge. I think I had caught her at a time in her life when she was more than ready.
Perhaps that was what depressed me. The thought occurred that if it wasn't me, it would have been some other man. You understand? It wasn't Herm Todd she had the hots for, I just happened to be the nearest guy available. If I hadn't made a move on her, she'd have found someone else, I was sure of it.
Once I realized that, I began to wonder about all the other women I had shagged, thinking I had succeeded in selling them a bill of goods, talking them into something they didn't want to do.
Maybe I had the whole thing ass backwards, they were making the conquest, not me, and all their protests were playacting, either to make themselves feel virtuous or to tickle my macho ego.
Those were not pleasant thoughts, I can tell you that.
Because if my fears were true then I had been used by women all these years, played for a fool, treated like a sex object, for God's sake!
I mixed myself another drink.
Listen, I admit no one would ever mistake me for LMARY Poppins. I mean I've done a lot of scurvy things in my life-not because I wanted to but because I had to if I wanted to survive.
Sure, a lot of things I did were illegal, and even when I wasn't breaking any laws, a lot of people would say I was acting in an immoral way. Screw them! I couldn't afford to have morals.
And I happen to know what the Bible says about casting the first stone.
At the same time I was living a sleazy life, there were some things I just wouldn't do, even though they would have made me a nice buck. For instance I never peddled dope. I've never done a woman, although I had plenty of chances, believe me. And the same goes for orgies. As Willie the Weasel would say, it's just not my style.
So I did have standards, even if you probably think them a laugh. To tell you the truth, all my life I wanted to go straight, but I could never manage it.
My thing with Marvin Mcwhortle was about as close as I ever came, but now that had ended and I was back to the sleaze again. It hurt.
You may not believe this, but Town amp; Country was my favorite magazine of all time. I liked to read about
