her uncle to lend us a hundred dollars which we needed. And the other things she did weren't wrong, it's just that she acted like she was running things and I wouldn't be able to leave home without her. That was wrong. I probably would have done better without her tagging along. But I didn't tell her that because she'd start crying, and then I'd have to take it back.
So we were going to go on Wednesday, September 2, like she said. I had all my stuff packed in a bag I had shoved under my bed, because my mom never dusted under there. Also, I had decided to make some baloney sandwiches to take with us, on the morning we left. Tania said that was a good idea but they should be ham and cheese. See what I mean?
The funny thing was that during that last week my father was trying to be real friendly and talking to me and all. He even wanted to take a day off from work and we would do things together. I couldn't figure out why he was acting so strange like that, and I wondered if maybe he knew I was going to run away and was trying to make up for how mean he had been to me so I wouldn't go.
I told Tania about it, and also how happy my mother suddenly was, laughing and joking with me all the time. Maybe she knew, too. But Tania kept saying it was just a faze (I think that's how you spell it) that they were going through and pretty soon they'd be right back to the way they were before and treating me miserable.
'I guess you're right,' I said.
'I know I'm right,' Tania said. 'Sometimes my father is nice to me when he remembers to be, but then he's up to his old tricks again. I hope you're not thinking of backing out, are you, Chet?'
'Of course not.'
'Because if you change your mind, I don't care. I'll just run away by myself.'
'I'm not going to change my mind,' I said. 'How many times do I have to tell you?'
We were sitting in our garage where we went so no one could see us. We were talking about what would be the best way to get to Disney World after we left her uncle's place, like, should we hitch a ride or take the bus? And suddenly, right out of the blue, Tania said, 'You don't care for me.' Boy, she really knew how to mix up a guy. I said, 'I do so care for you. I kissed you, didn't I?'
'oh, that,' she said. 'That didn't mean anything to you.'
'it did so, too.'
'I bet you've kissed lots of girls.'
'Well, I haven't.'
'Never?
'Well, maybe one or two,' I said.
'Who were they? Do I know them?'
'Nah,' I said, 'you don't know them-' That was a lie. 'They were just girls.'
'Why did you kiss them?'
'Holy moley!' I said. I was getting sore. 'I don't remember why I kissed them. Okay?'
'You don't care for me,' she said again, and we were right back where we started.
I began to think that if she was going to talk like that all the time, maybe it wasn't such a great idea to let her come along when I left home. I mean I couldn't figure out what she wanted.
'Look,' I said to her, 'I don't ask you how many boys you've kissed.'
'Well, I haven't,' she said. 'You're the only one. So that proves how much I care for you. Because you're the only boy I've let kiss me.'
'Tell me what you want,' I begged her. 'Just tell me what you want me to say, and I'll say it.'
'That's no good,' she said. 'You've got to say it on your own.' , Well, that was one talk we had in the garage, and I didn't know what she was getting at. I was all mixed up, and even though I thought about it a lot, I couldn't understand why she was, like, mad at me. I didn't do anything to her. I wished there was someone I could ask about it, but there wasn't.
I was hoping she'd forget about it, but she didn't. Almost every time we talked she'd ask if I cared for her. I mean she really picked on me.
'Now look here,' I told her, 'if we're going to be traveling, I'll take care of you. Don't worry about it.
'That's not what I mean, Chet,' she said.
'Well, what do you mean?' I asked her.
'When I ask if you care for me, I mean do you like me?'
'Sure, I like you.'
She was quiet a while, then she said, 'Do you love me?'
Geez, she was something. First it was did I care for her, then it was did I like her, and now it was did I love her.
'Wait a minute,' I said. 'Kids are supposed to love their parents, and maybe their relatives and a sister or brother, if they've got one. But kids aren't supposed to love other kids.'
'Who says so?' she said.
'Everyone knows that. When you get grown up, it's okay to love someone and then you get married. But kids can't get married, so what's the point of loving someone? It wouldn't do you any good.'
'You can love someone and not get married,' she argued.
'Freddy Washburn told Velma Burkhardt he loved her, and they're just kids and can't get married. ,who told you that?'
'Told me what?'
'That Freddy Washburn told Velma Burkhardt he loved her.'
'Velma told me.'
'Well, Freddy Washburn is a real nerd, everyone knows that, and he was probably lying.'
'No, he wasn't,' Tania said. 'He gave Velma a friendship ring. it's got like this little blue stone in it. So that proves he loves her, Chet.'
'He probably found it in a box of Cracker Jack.'
'But he gave it to her. That's the point.'
'Well, what do you want me to do-give you a friendship ring?'
'That would be nice,' she said. 'it would show you love me.'
'I didn't say I did.'
'Does that mean you don't?'
'I didn't say I did, I didn't say I don't. What's important about it anyway?' so She sighed. 'You just don't understand.'
'I sure don't,' I said. 'Explain it to me.'
'Well, if a boy says he loves a girl, then she is his girl and he can't love anyone else. And if a girl loves a boy, then she can't love anyone else either. It's just the two of them, forever and ever.'
'That's stupid,' I said. 'What if one of them moves away?' , 'Then they write each other or talk on the telephone.
'But what if one of them moves to like Russia and they never see each other again. What happens then? '
'It doesn't make any difference, Chet,' she said. 'They've got to keep on loving each other, because they said so.'
'That's stupid,' I said again. 'It just don't make sense.' 'Doesn't,' she said. 'And it's not stupid. It means the boy and girl belong to each other. And if one of them gets hurt or gets sick, the other one takes care of them.'
I didn't say anything.
'If I get hurt or sick, Chet,' she said. 'I mean after we run away.
Will you take care of me?'
'Sure,' I said. 'Of course I would. I wouldn't just leave you.'
'Well, that proves you love me. And if you gave me a friendship ring, it would be like a sign.'
'A sign of what?'
'That we belong to each other.'
'Hey,' I said, 'it's awfully hot. Let's put our suits on and go to the pool.'
'All right,' she said.
I was glad she agreed. Talking about love and all that mush was making me nervous.
I sat in that stinking wheelchair every day, and every day I wondered if I had been a goddamned fool not to
