The scientists had rolled themselves into thermal blankets and were trying to catch a few hours of sleep in the corner. Through the half- demolished roof above, Anakin could see the cold night sky. The constellations were not familiar to him and made him feel even farther away from home.
He crossed the room and crouched by Darra. Her eyelashes cast shadows on her pale cheeks. There was a fine sheen of perspiration on her skin. He watched her breathe in and out.
I'm sorry, he spoke in his mind.
He felt a presence by his shoulder. The scientist TicVerdun looked down at Darra. 'It is hard to see a friend this way, I know.'
'Yes,' Anakin said. He did not want to discuss his feelings with this stranger.
'Yesterday I would have said that Jedi are used to pain and suffering and thus can bear it better than we do,' Tic Verdun continued. 'Today I find I would be wrong. You seem to feel it more.'
'Not more,' Anakin said. 'It's just that we put ourselves in the way of danger. It is our path. We see one another's strength. We see one another at our best. So we know exactly how much we lose when one of us goes down. And we feel… if only we could have been the one to fall.'
He felt Tic Verdun's eyes on him. 'I saw that you wanted to go with your Master and Soara Antana. If you wish to follow them, I will take responsibility for Darra Thel-Tanis and the rest of us. The others are tired. I am still strong.'
Anakin was impressed. No wonder Tic Verdun had been the group's scout.
He had great courage.
Anakin shook his head. 'I can't go. But thank you.' He turned away again and sat down next to Darra. He didn't want to be rude, but he wasn't in the mood to talk.
But Tic Verdun didn't get the hint. He sat down, too. 'The Force,' he said. 'You have to see how it would be intriguing to a scientist. Something that cannot be seen, cannot be measured. And it can only be felt by a select few. Here I am with someone who can feel it and use it. I saw it happen just a short while ago. Can you explain how it works to me? Can you tell me anything at all?' He added hastily, 'Or is it forbidden to speak of it?'
'It is not forbidden,' Anakin said. 'But it is not done.'
Tic wrapped his arms around his knees. 'I see.'
Now Anakin was afraid he'd been rude. 'It is hard to talk about it. It is something I can feel around me. Something I can gather and tap into, like a deep well. It sustains me and frustrates me — '
'Frustrates you?' Tic's dark eyes were alive, curious. Anakin leaned back against the cold stone wall. He felt very tired. 'Sometimes. It is so vast…'
'That you feel small.' Tic gave a sad smile. 'I study the galaxy. I know how that feels. How simple it is, and yet how intricate and complex.
It is all around you and you are at the center of it, yet you are nothing compared to it.'
'Yes,' Anakin said. Tic had put into words what he had been feeling.
No one had ever done that before. Not even Obi-Wan. Sometimes the Force made him feel… lonely.
'And you will never truly understand it,' Tic added softly, 'yet you will spend your life trying. And sometimes you ask yourself, is it worth it? Is it foolish of you to devote yourself to trying to know the unknowable?' He laughed. 'All I know is, it can't be wise.'
'Wisdom is not what we seek,' Anakin said, repeating a Jedi saying.
'Wisdom can only be found.'
Tic shook his head, grinning. 'Whatever that means. And I thought the scientific institute was hard.'
When Tic smiled, Anakin realized that he was younger than he'd thought. He wasn't much older than Obi- Wan. Tic had made him feel better, and he didn't think anyone was capable of that.
Suddenly the sound of explosions split the air. The scientists all jumped to their feet, fear on their faces. Darra stirred but did not wake.
'What is it?' Reug Yucon whispered the words harshly.
Anakin heard the sound of alarmed voices from the Haariden camp. Soara and Obi-Wan had begun their attack. Every muscle seemed to contract with the effort of staying still. He wanted so badly to go.
'Should we leave?' Joveh D'a Alin asked anxiously. 'We could be trapped here.'
'No,' Anakin said. 'We'll wait here.'
Waiting was the hardest thing. Like him, the scientists wanted to move. But they wanted to run from the source of the explosions. He wanted to run toward them.
'We are lucky to have you with us,' Tic said quietly. A small consolation, Anakin thought. But he'd take it.
Chapter Five
If any of the Haaridens were trying to grab some sleep, they were now disappointed. The patrol troops had been so certain that they were safe that they hadn't bothered to post guards. It was easy for Obi-Wan and Soara to sneak into the camp. The Haaridens had left the small arms jumbled together in a heap. Soara and Obi-Wan easily jammed the flechette launchers and the missile tube, and pocketed all the thermal detonators.
Then they tossed a detonator into the brush in order to wake everybody up. While the Haaridens scrambled for their blasters, the only weapons left to them, the Jedi stood, waiting.
