stay away and keep temptation at arm's length.
He would leave the following day, Rutherford decided as he left the library. He would have liked to saddle a horse and gallop back to London at that very moment. He could be back long before dark if he did so. But he could not leave the day after Christmas. The whole family would be upset. Everyone would know that something must have happened. And some might begin guessing. He did not want that to happen. He did not want anything to cause possible embarrassment to Jess.
'Jessica, my dear girl, do come along to my sitting room with me,' the Dowager Duchess of Middleburgh said, laying a hand on Jessica's arm after luncheon. 'The trouble with the members of this family is that they forget I am an old woman and unable to stand the noise and constant motion of their merrymaking. What I need is an hour of peace and quiet with someone sensible to converse with.'
It seemed reasonable to Jessica. She was in the habit of thinking of the dowager as indefatigable. But then, of course, the elderly lady usually lived a fairly quiet life in the house on Berkeley Square. Jessica did not have the heart to say no. She had spent so much time with her grandfather in the last few days that she had almost neglected the lady who had been so kind to her since her arrival in town.
But truth to tell, she did not feel like being sociable to anyone. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to get away altogether. She could not remember ever feeling so miserable.
'Of course, your grace,' she said. 'I shall run to my room for my embroidery.'
'Yes, do that, dear,' the dowager said.
But Jessica was not to get much needlework done.
She had barely drawn her needle through her work when her companion began to speak.
'Now what is troubling you, my dear?' she asked. 'Is it Charles again? I would guess it must be, judging from the look on his face and the look on yours at luncheon.'
Jessica darted her a troubled look. 'I have refused him again,' she said.
'Oh dear,' the dowager said. 'I was afraid this would happen. Patience was never the dear boy's greatest virtue. I suppose he came thundering back with Heddingly, full of the conviction that as the granddaughter of a marquess you must marry him. What the dear boy would not have realized, of course, is that you have known of the connection all your life. It is a new idea only to him.'
'Grandpapa shares the idea,' Jessica said. 'He gave Lord Rutherford his blessing.'
'Yes.' the dowager sighed. 'He would. I remember wondering when Mirabel accepted his offer all those years ago just how she would manage such a very prickly character. She seemed to do quite well. But tell me, my dear, did you have to refuse?'
'Yes.' Jessica threaded her needle through her embroidery and set it aside. She stopped even pretending to work at it. 'Yes, I had to, your grace. I am sorry.'
'You do not have to be sorry for me,' her companion said. 'After all, Jessica, you are the one who would have to live with the dear boy for the rest of his life. Forgive me for prying, but are you quite sure that you could not do it? It has always seemed to me that you have something of a tendre for Charles.'
Jessica bit her lip. 'I love him,' she said so low that the dowager leaned forward somewhat in her chair. 'But I could not live with him, no.'
'His high-handed tactics have wounded your pride?' the old lady said.
'It is not just that,' Jessica said. 'I think if I did not love him I might be able to do it, ma'am. But how can I marry a man who offers for me only because it is the proper thing to do? I should feel all my life that I was a millstone around his neck.'
'Gracious!' the dowager said. 'The boy has never told you that that is his only reason, has he? What nonsense! He has been hankering after you ever since he first set eyes on you, m'dear.'
'I know,' Jessica said miserably. 'Sometimes I think it would have been better if I had allowed him his will when I first knew him-pardon me, your grace. Then none of all this would have happened. He would have been satisfied. And perhaps I would have been too.'
'What a very confused young lady you are, to be sure,' the dowager said briskly. 'I am not at all certain you understand the situation, my dear. But be that as it may, you have refused Charles again. I suppose he ripped up at you and said all sorts of rash things.'
'It was a nasty interview,' Jessica admitted. 'Oh, ma'am, please, please help me. I must go away from here. I cannot stay, a guest of his family. I cannot face him every time I go beyond my room. Please help me.'
'Poor dear.' Her companion crossed the room and patted her on the shoulder. 'You must remember that you are here on account of me and not on account of Charles at all. No one will think you are out of place here merely because you have refused him. But if you feel you must go, then of course you must. The marquess must take you back to London. Will he stay at Berkeley Square, do you think? Or will he insist on staying at a hotel?'
'No,' Jessica said, shaking her head. 'Grandpapa must not know I am leaving. Oh, please. He gave me a thundering scold when I went back to his room this morning and told me that I must reconsider. He will not even listen to any other idea. I cannot talk to him. I
know what he is like when he once gets an idea into his head. The same thing happened two years ago. Please, I cannot face Grandpapa again.'
'Well,' the dowager said, scratching her head and returning to her seat, 'what are we to do with you, child? I shall have to take you back to London myself tomorrow. We shall resume our quiet life, Jessica, until the marquess comes to his senses. Or failing that, we will start making plans for the Season. I shall find you so many eligible suitors, m'dear, that your only trouble will be to choose among them.'
'No,' Jessica said. 'You are most kind, ma'am, and I cannot begin to thank you for all you have done for me. But I cannot continue to be beholden to you. Do you not see? I must return to my old way of life if only I can. Can you help me, ma'am? Will you? Lord Rutherford was convinced when he sent me to you that you could and would. Please, can you find me a situation, and soon? I will be happy when my life settles to normal again. And I will no longer be a burden to you.'
The dowager duchess viewed the distraught figure across from her and knew that the girl was not in any emotional state to listen to reason. Refusing Charles because she loved him indeed! And when Charles was so obviously head over ears in love with the gel, too. What disasters young people managed to make of their lives these days. Surely young ladies of her generation had had more sense.
'I suppose you want to go far away,' she said. 'I have a very dear friend in Yorkshire, my dear. Not far from Harrogate. She very likely will not have anything for you herself, but she will find something for you if I tell her that you come from me highly recommended.'
'Oh, thank you, ma'am,' Jessica said, her face brightening, 'but will it not be too much to ask?'
'I took in her and her daughter for ten days four or five years ago. When they arrived in tow to find their house unready,' the dowager said. 'She has been looking for a way to repay me ever since. Now, I suppose you will want to be on your way as soon as possible. But not today, Jessica dear. You could, of course, travel to London this afternoon and set out on your journey tomorrow morning. But there would be too many questions asked here. And I do not suppose you would like your grandfather to come blustering after you before you could even leave town.'
Jessica shook her head.
'What we will do,' the dowager said, 'is to order my carriage for very early tomorrow morning. Say five o'clock? Then you can go home, pack a trunk quickly, and be on your way long before anyone here has even realized you are gone. I shall send word that you are to travel in my best traveling carriage so that you will find the journey quite comfortable even if it is long and tedious. In the meantime, I shall also prepare a letter to send with you to Georgina.'
'You are so kind.' Jessica put her hands over her face. 'I was really wondering at luncheon what I was to do with myself. I wanted to leave, but it just seemed too far to walk to London. You will explain to Grandpapa tomorrow? Poor Grandpapa. He has traveled all this way just to see me. But it will not work out, ma'am. We just cannot see eye to eye.'
'You leave the marquess to me,' the dowager said. 'Now, dear, I need some advice on this new cushion cover I am about to embroider. Never did have much sense of color. Help me choose a pleasing combination. Come, we will move over to the window seat, where we will have daylight to help us.'
