he’ll take care of their pets when they get called to heaven. For a fee.”
“And they trust him?”
“He’s a good salesman. Plus, he’s the only game in town.”
“And you’re dating this guy?”
“We’re not getting married, or anything. It’s just sex right now.”
“Thanks for sharing that.”
“I figured you’d get around to asking, eventually.”
“Have I ever asked about your sex life?”
“Not in so many words.”
We’re both quiet a moment. Then I say, “But school is good?”
Kimberly laughs.
“What’s so funny?”
“Your ability to communicate with me leaves a lot to be desired!”
“Why is that, do you suppose?”
“I think you’re afraid you’ll say the wrong thing and I’ll hang up. As usual.”
“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” I say, “because I do, and always have.”
“I believe you. Even if you hate my boyfriend.”
“ Hate him? I don’t even know him!”
“That’s the point. But if we’re being honest, what’s your first impression?”
I pause. Then say, “He sounds like a flake.”
“They’re all flakes to you,” she says. “And that’s why I don’t take your calls sometimes.”
She hangs up, and I stare at my phone again before clicking it off.
Then I call Lou Kelly.
16.
“How’d the board meeting go?” Lou says.
“You did a good job with the information. They’re probably scrambling to figure out a way to block Gwen.”
“You don’t really expect them to put her on the board, though, right?”
“No. But I expect they’ll approach me to buy her out at a discount.”
“Will she go for that?”
“She needs to. The company’s about to go under. Anything she gets now is a plus. I’ll work it all out.”
“I’m sure you will. What’s up?”
“My daughter, Kimberly.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“Do you know how to find the guy we used to have following her?”
“That was more than a year ago.”
“Right. But he did a good job for us.”
“Want me to track him down? Pay him whatever he wants?”
“Yeah. What’s his name?”
“Jimmy T.”
“Right. Good, solid guy. Let’s get him back on the job. And also, I’ve got a funny feeling about her school.”
“What about it?”
“Can you send me a copy of her grades for the past few semesters?”
“You think she quit?”
“I hope not, but it wouldn’t shock me. She’s quite a bullshitter, my daughter.”
“Wonder where she inherited that skill?”
“Right. Problem is, I never know if she’s making fun of me or being sincere. But she’s dating another flake, and I’d feel better knowing Jimmy’s keeping an eye on her. From a distance, of course.”
“Last time we did that-”
“Yeah, I know. But still.”
“In my experience with daughters-”
“I know. But I just spoke to her. Something’s not right.”
“You think she’s in danger? We could kill the kid like last time.”
“I just want our guy to keep an eye on her, maybe track this guy down, check him out.”
We go quiet a few seconds. Then Lou says, “She still at Mabry Community College? Jacksonville?”
“That’s what she claims.”
“You don’t believe her?”
“I’m not sure what to believe. She’s got this attitude lately. I don’t respond to it very well.”
“She’s found your buttons. Starting to push them.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, I’m on it.”
“Thanks, Lou.”
I hang up, think about something, call him back.
“Forget something?” Lou says.
“Quick question.”
“Shoot.”
“You know anything about the Rapture?”
“The rap group? The book? The movie? The Bible?”
“The Bible.”
“Like what?”
“You know if pets can go?”
“Where?”
“Heaven.”
He pauses. “I’ll check it out.”
“Wait. You’re not going to ask why I want to know?”
Lou laughs. “Nothing you could say would help me understand.”
“Good point.”
“Plus, I want to figure it out for myself.”
“Are you that bored?”
“Last time you called me was a week ago. I could’ve been in the Bahamas all this time.”
“You’re breaking my heart.”
“What heart?”
“Good point. Again.”
17.
“We’re friends, right?”
Carmine “The Chin” Porrello, west coast mob boss, is on the phone. Wants to know if we’re friends.
“That’s a tough one,” I say.
He chuckles. “Well, I were you, I’d say yes.”
“Then, yes.”
“’Cause this is a friendship call.”
