“You might have certain legal problems, aiding and abetting, that sort of thing, I’m not sure what your legal position is, so this will help you. This will make it look as if you drove me here unwillingly, this will make it look as if I forced you to help me, it will look as if I tried to hurt you, but you know I would never hurt you. You know how I feel about you. I would never hurt you. This is just to help you, this will give you an alibi.”
He was pinching her arm slightly, gently, moving his fingers up and down the inside of her arm and pinching. It didn’t hurt, she didn’t mind it. She was alive after each pinch.
“It’s just a little sharpness, just momentary. You won’t even notice it. Do you see the sunset? Isn’t it beautiful, just look at that, Helen, so much beauty in such an ugly place.”
Helen felt the knife point as it entered her flesh, but the pinching had worked. It didn’t seem much worse than another squeeze, just another little stitch in the skin, and she didn’t feel the blade at all as it traveled down her arm from inside her elbow to her hand.
It was quite a good knife after all, Dyce thought. A bit unwieldy, but it took an edge like a fine razor. The blood welled up and oozed out of her arm. He held her hand down between the seats, slightly back so she couldn’t see it from the corner of her eye and pulled back on the skin so it would not close on itself.
“This part will be over in a second or two, Helen. Don’t even think about it, it will stop of its own accord. It’s not at all dangerous, but it will look good when they question you. You can tell them anything you want and they’ll believe you now. Do you see the swallows? That’s what they are. I love to watch them swooping along, don’t you? They’re so graceful and they only come out in the evening like this, did you know that?”
Helen watched the swallows darting after insects and remembered a score of a movie that set the motions of birds to music. The music sounded sweetly in her mind.
Dyce had trouble controlling his breath. He had not anticipated how good this would feel. He had never killed before, not really, not for its own sake. The death of the men had been necessary to achieve the desired effect, merely a consequence of their preparation. This was different. This was exciting in itself She looked so pretty now. He had never thought of her as pretty before, but now she was absolutely beautiful. Beautiful in death. Dyce thought maybe he loved her after all. Her fingers in his hand were growing cold, but he wished now that they wouldn’t go too fast; he wanted her dying to last.
His voice sounded harsh for the first time. “No, don’t move the arm, Helen, just let it hang down. If you move it now you’ll spoil everything.” She had only wanted to wipe away the tears that were running into the corner of her mouth. He gripped her fingers tightly and held her arm down and behind her. She heard the sound of something dripping into the back of the car. She knew what it was; she didn’t know what it was. As long as she heard the drips she was alive.
“That’s better, Helen. Now just relax. We’ve had a long drive, you’re probably feeling a little tired. If you feel drowsy, just shut your eyes. Go on, shut your eyes, Helen. Take a little nap if you want. Why don’t you take a little nap. I’ll be right here to watch over you. You know nothing can happen as long as I’m here. I’ll take good care of you.”
Her eyelids fluttered closed and she sighed as if grateful to give in to sleep at last.
“When we’ve finished here, I tell you what let’s do. Let’s find a nice hotel. I want to be with you, Helen. I want to spend the night with you. I want to make love with you. Do you remember that first night we were together? Do you have any money with you? I’ll have to borrow your money. You look so lovely now, Helen.” He wished she would turn toward him so she could see how he was smiling at her, how happy he was. She would want to know she had given him such happiness. She deserved to know that. She was his first. So much more important than sex; she had introduced him to a pleasure that touched his soul.
At the end, when Dyce thought she was gone and finally released her hand, she tried to fight, startling him with the suddenness and ferocity of her attack, flailing her arms, clawing at his face and hitting again and again at the knife that he held up to protect himself. She had little real strength left, of course, but he was surprised that she had managed any at all. Even in the ferocity of her struggle she didn’t cry out, as if she wanted to keep the matter between the two of them right to the end.
Ultimately she fell back, sobbing silently, covering her eyes with hands deeply gashed by their foolish onslaughts against the knife. She died that way, her face covered, the last of her blood accelerated out of her body by her own flailing efforts.
Dyce could not help getting some of the blood on his clothing as he tossed her into the trunk. The car would be stolen by morning, he reasoned, and whoever did it would not be quick to notify the police about a body found with the spare tire. He wished she hadn’t fought at the end. It ruined the glow he was feeling.
After cleaning himself as best he could, Dyce walked toward the lights of the city. He was grateful for the falling darkness as it would help disguise his clothes and general condition-not that anyone would care very much in the sections he was heading for. But he was also glad he had the knife tucked into his belt. There were many scary people in this part of town.
“I understand you’ve joined up again,” said Gold. He was playing with a three-colored pen, switching the nib from red to green to blue.
“Temporarily,” said Becker.
“That’s a start.”
“That’s all there is. It’s a convenience; the badge opens doors.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I hate when you do that,” Becker said.
“Do what?”
“Grunt knowingly. It sounds like a parody of a shrink. You might as well say, I zee, very interessting.”
“You’re in a good mood.”
“I was supposed to have a date tonight,” said Becker. “I came to see you instead. She’s going to be pissed and all I have is you for consolation.”
“How is that going? That relationship.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her enough to find out.”
“Evasive.”
“It’s none of your business. Sex is not my problem.”
“Did I mention sex? I asked about your relationship. Does that just mean sex to you?”
“I want to ask you some questions today.”
“That’s not the way it works.”
“Nothing personal.”
“That’s the only kind of question worth asking. How is the relationship?”
“Yours and mine? Fragile, I’d say.”
“The girl.” Gold glanced at his notes. “Cindi.”
“I remember her name. It’s fine. She’s too young for me. She probably has an Oedipal attraction to me, I probably have a dirty-old-man attraction to her. That sounds unhealthy but binding, wouldn’t you say?” Becker paused. “I like her,” he said.
“And how does that make you feel?”
“It scares me a little,” said Becker.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe later. I have other questions first.”
“What kind of questions?”
“About sexual perversion.”
“Um.”
“I thought you’d like that. Don’t worry, it’s official business.”
“We don’t call it perversion anymore. It’s paraphilia now. Whose paraphilia are we interested m?”
“My man. His name is Dyce.”
“Your man?”
“The man I’m after. Yeah, he’s my man. Or he will be. I almost have him already, and if you give me the right information, he’ll be all mine.”
Gold placed the pen on his desk and looked squarely at Becker. There was an intensity in Becker’s tone he had not heard before. Gone, for the moment at least, was the caustic, bantering note that let Gold know he was being tolerated even when Becker was cooperating. Usually Gold felt as if he were a priest debating religion with
