'This is terrible, what you have done to your mother! You could have at least called and told us where you were. Where have you been!'
'Here,' she says so softly I can barely understand.
'Here? With Zhang Zhong Shan?'
'Here.'
He looks at me, his face very red. 'You told me you hadn't seen her!'
'She asked me to.'
He looks back at her. 'You stayed here alone?' He is trembling with fury, I have never seen him like this. His face is so red I am afraid he will make himself ill.
'Foreman Qian,' I say, 'perhaps you would sit down. I have tea, beer.'
'What have you been doing for two days! What is your mother going to do when she hears about this! And you,' he turns to me, 'how could you do this! I have had you to my home and now you are taking advantage of my daughter!'
'Foreman Qian,' I say, the words sounding as ludicrous in Chinese as they do in English, 'I have not taken advantage of your daughter, I did not even ask her to come here.'
'I cannot believe this!' he says to her, ignoring me. 'You want us to treat you as if you are an adult, but you do this?' I am embarrassed. Foreman Qian sounds like the cliche of the Chinese father, protecting his daughter from bad influence. Like a vid. People do not act like this in real life. But then, people don't try to marry their daughters to bent foreman they barely know, either. 'What if they found out at your job! Do you think you would ever be transferred to China if they thought you were an immoral girl?'
'The Great Cleansing Winds campaign is over,' San-xiang says, 'No one talks that way anymore.'
'Well why don't you just tell them at work that you are staying with an Engineering Technician without citizenship and see how they talk.'
San-xiang flushes. Foreman Qian rounds on me, 'I would have been happy to treat you like a son, I had no idea you were so stupid.'
'I have been entirely respectful with your daughter,' I say. 'She called me Tuesday and asked if she could come here, she told me she had an argument with you and her mother.'
'A man alone with a girl, you expect me to believe this?'
'It's true,' San-xiang says coldly, 'Engineer Zhang is not interested in me, ba-ba, I am too ugly for a man.'
He takes that like a body blow. For the first time I see his position, a father with an ugly daughter, trying to make up to her for spending her face money. But he rolls right on, not even acknowledging her comment. 'I don't believe this foolishness. You have been here two nights. The neighbors know you are here.'
If this were a Chinese building, the auntie watching the hall would report what we are doing to the building committee, but this is not a Chinese building, I'm the only ABC living here and there are no Chinese. 'Here,' I say, 'no one cares.'
'I can believe that,' he says, looking at my apartment. 'What about your mother?' he says to San-xiang.
'I will tell her I'm sorry,' San-xiang says.
'Do you think that will erase what you've done?'
'What do you want me to do?' she cries.
'Do you expect to continue on after this?' Foreman Qian asks.
'No,' she says, 'we have already decided to stop.'
I expect that to mollify him but instead he turns back to me. 'So! You have had her here! Now you are finished with her? Is that it! She is trash and you discard her?'
'No-' I say, astonished and angry.
'You are a stupid bit of dogshit!' he says.
'Enough!' I shout back, this is a real Chinese argument now, conducted like any good Chinese argument, at full volume. 'I didn't ask your daughter to come here! I treated her well! I told her to call you and now all you do is shout at me! Don't shout at me because you can't control your daughter!'
'What do you expect me to believe! I find my daughter in this dirty little apartment where there is barely room to turn around and you tell me you have been living like sisters? And then you say you do not want to see my daughter again? How can you tell me you are not interested in a Chinese girl! In citizenship! Maybe this was just to get my daughter in trouble so she would have to marry you!'
'You wanted your daughter to marry me!' I say. 'You tried to bribe me with your talk of Guangzhou University!' My face is flushed, I feel it. 'Well Foreman Qian, something you did not know, my mother is not Chinese. I am not really Chinese. My mother's name is Teresa Luis and she is hispanic!' 'Wode mama jiao Teresa Luis ye ta shi Hai- si-ba-na!'
Foreman Qian is shocked into silence. The Spanish name stands out from the Chinese.
After a moment Foreman Qian stutters, 'Your mother; her surname is Li. I read your records.'
'Li is her party name. Only my father is Chinese. Now, please leave,' I say, 'I have to work tomorrow.'
I see a different anger building in his face, a colder anger. Finally Foreman Qian says, 'Ah, now you remember that you work for me.'
'I have told the crew to be on the site at noon, hopefully the rain will be over,' I say. His face frightens me, the red is gone and now the anger is white.
'We will talk,' Foreman Qian says and it is clearly a threat. 'San-xiang, let's go.'
She collects her bag silently. 'I'm sorry,' she says in English.
'San-xiang!' her father snaps.
And I close the door behind them. I stand there for a minute, and then I go to the kitchen and get a beer. There are only five beers, I suspect that isn't enough.
Before I go to the site the next day I go to the employment office and check the jobs on the board. I cannot look for a job until I no longer have one, so I don't stay long for fear someone will ask to look at my work card. I do not see any jobs.
I do not know what I will do when I am unemployed. I may have to give up my flat if I am unemployed for very long and accept approved housing. Living in Virginia or northern Pennsylvania and taking the train to the city. I will be able to take the train but only during non-peak hours. Maybe I can live with Peter for awhile.
I have a skill, so I will be able to wait until a job comes that matches my skill, rather than being assigned to menial labor.
If I had enough money and could keep paying my rent, I could keep my flat. I cannot ask my mother for money. There are jobs, free market jobs in Times Square. Maybe I can sell something. I get back on the train to go back downtown to the job site. In the subway there is a torn advertisement, the same I saw the night before, 'Una luz brillara en tu camina/Ven a la iglesia. Descubre lo que te has perdido.' Discover what I have lost? Not by going to church. Una luz brillara en tu camina. A brilliant light in your path. There is a brilliant light inside of me. It is not Christ, it is not Mao Zedong. I do not know what it is. I am Zhang, alone with my light, and in that light I think for a moment that I am free.
But I am only free in small places. Government is big, we are small. We are only free when we slip through the cracks.
KITES (Angel)
The door is flanked by two, curtained windows with big flower arrangements in them, it makes the place look more like a discreet and expensive restaurant than a funeral parlor. The first person I see is Orchid-long white hair and black satin quilted jacket with, of course, a huge white silk orchid appliqued across the back. Then Cinnabar, who isn't wearing red. Cinnabar is really Cinnabar Chavez' first name, so I guess he doesn't have to prove anything, he only wears red when he flies.
Some fliers take on their flying name, like Orchid. Everybody calls her Orchid. I don't even know what her name is. But nobody calls Eleni 'Jacinth' except the marks. Nobody calls me Gargoyle, they just call me Angel. But everybody calls Johnny B 'Johnny B', even though we all know his name is Gregory.
