alone with this stranger (as punishment? it had been her idea to pick him up), and now she was scared.
“Bad vibes,” the hitchhiker said suddenly, making her actually catch her breath. His words were flat and final. She could see Arnie through the plate-glass window, standing fifth or sixth in line. He wouldn’t get up to the counter for a while. She found herself imagining the hitchhiker suddenly clamping his gloved hands around her throat. Of course she could reach the horn-ring… but would the horn sound? She found herself doubting it for no sane reason at all. She found herself thinking that she could hit the horn ninety-nine times and it would honk satisfyingly. But if, on the hundredth, she was being strangled by this hitchhiker on whose behalf she had interceded, the horn wouldn’t blow. Because… because Christine didn’t like her. In fact, she believed that Christine hated her guts. It was as simple as that. Crazy but simple.
“P-Pardon me?” She glanced back in the rearview mirror and was immeasurably relieved to see that the hitchhiker wasn’t looking at her at all; he was glancing around the car. He touched the seat cover with his palm, then lightly brushed the roof upholstery with the tips of his fingers.
“Bad vibes,” he said, and shook his head. “This car, I don’t know why, but I get bad vibes.”
“Do you?” she asked, hoping her voice sounded neutral.
“Yeah. I got stuck in an elevator once when I was a little kid. Ever since then I get attacks of claustrophobia. I never had one in a car before, but boy, I got one now. In the worst way. I think you could light a kitchen match on my tongue, that’s how dry my mouth is.”
He laughed a short, embarrassed laugh.
“If I wasn’t already so late, I’d just get out and walk. No offence to you or your guy’s car,” he added hastily, and when Leigh looked back into the mirror his eyes did not seem wild at all, only nervous. Apparently he wasn’t kidding about the claustrophobia, and he no longer looked like Charlie Manson to her at all. Leigh wondered how she could have been so stupid… except she knew how, and why. She knew perfectly well.
It was the car. All day long she had felt perfectly okay riding in Christine, but now her former nervousness and dislike were back. She had merely projected her feelings onto a hitchhiker because… well, because you could be scared and nervous about some guy you just picked up off the road, but it was insane to be scared by a car, an inanimate construct of steel and glass and plastic and chrome. That wasn’t just a little eccentric, it was insane.
“You don’t smell anything, do you?” he asked abruptly.
“Smell anything?”
“A bad smell.”
“No, not at all.” Her fingers were plucking at the bottom of her sweater now, pulling off wisps of angora. Her heart was knocking unpleasantly in her chest. “It must be part of your claustrophobia whatzis.”
“I guess so.”
But she could smell it. Under the good new smells of leather and upholstery there was a faint odour: something like gone-over eggs. Just a whiff… a lingering whiff.
“Mind if I crank the window down a little?”
“If you want,” Leigh said, and found it took some effort to keep her voice steady and casual. Suddenly her mind’s eye showed her the picture that had been in the paper yesterday morning, a picture of Moochie Welch probably culled from the yearbook. The caption beneath read: Peter Welch, victim of fatal hit-and-run incident that police feel may have been murder.
The hitchhiker unrolled his window three inches and crisp cold air came in, driving that smell away. Inside McD’s, Arnie had reached the counter and was giving his order. Looking at him, Leigh experienced such an odd swirl of love and fear that she felt nauseated by the mixture—for the second or third time lately she found herself wishing that she had fixed on Dennis first. Dennis who seemed so safe and sensible…
She turned her thoughts away from that.
“Just tell me if it gets cold on you,” the hitchhiker said apologetically. “I’m weird, I know it.” He sighed. “Sometimes I think I never should have given up drugs, you know?”
Leigh smiled.
Arnie came out with a white bag, skidded a little in the snow, and then got behind the wheel.
“Cold like an icebox in here,” he grunted.
“Sorry, man,” the hitchhiker said from the back, and rolled the window up again. Leigh waited to see if that smell would come back, but now she could smell nothing but leather, upholstery, and the faint aroma of Arnie’s aftershave.
“Here you go, Leigh.” He gave her a burger, fries, and a small Coke. He had gotten himself a Big Mac.
“Want to thank you again for the ride, man,” the hitchhiker said. “You can just drop me off at the corner of JFK and Center, if that’s cool.”
“Fine,” Arnie said shortly, and pulled out. The snow was coming down even more heavily now, and the wind had begun to whoop. For the first time Leigh felt Christine skid a bit as she felt for a grip on the wide street, which was now almost deserted. They were less than fifteen minutes from home.
With the smell gone, Leigh discovered that her appetite had come back. She wolfed half of her hamburger, drank some Coke, and stifled a burp with the back of her hand. The corner of Center and JFK, marked with a war memorial, came up on the left, and Arnie pulled over, pumping the brakes lightly so Christine wouldn’t slide.
“Have a nice weekend,” Arnie said. He sounded more like his usual self now. Maybe all he needed was some food, Leigh thought, amused.
“Same goes to both of you,” the hitchhiker said. “And have a merry Christmas.”
“You too,” Leigh said. She took another bite of her hamburger, chewed, swallowed… and felt it lodge halfway down her throat. Suddenly she couldn’t breathe.
The hitchhiker was getting out. The noise of the door opening was very loud. The sound of the latch clicking sounded like the thud of tumblers falling in a bank-vault. The sound of the wind was like a factory whistle.
(this is stupid I know but I can’t Arnie I can’t breathe)
I’m choking! she tried to say, and what came out was a faint, fuzzy sound that she was sure the whine of the wind must have covered. She clawed at her throat and it felt swollen and throbbing in her hand. She tried to scream. No breath to scream, no breath
(Arnie I can’t) at all, and she could feel it in there… a warm lump of burger and bun. She tried to cough it up and it wouldn’t come. The dashboard lights, bright green, circular,
(cat like the eyes of a cat dear God I can’t BREATHE) watching her—
(God I can’t BREATHE can’t BREATHE can’t)
Her chest began to pound for air. Again she tried to cough up the lump of half-chewed burger and bun in her throat, but it wouldn’t come. Now the sound of the wind was bigger than the world, bigger than any sound she had ever heard before, and Arnie was finally turning away from the hitchhiker to look at her; he was turning in slow motion, his eyes widening almost comically, and even his voice seemed too loud, like thunder, the voice of Zeus speaking to some poor mortal from behind a massy skystack of thunderclouds:
“LEIGH… ARE YOU… WHAT THE HELL?… SHE’s CHOKING! OH MY GOD SHE’s — ”
He reached for her in slow motion, and then he drew his hands back, immobilized by panic
(Oh help me help me for God’s sake do something I’m dying oh my dear God I’m choking to death on a McDonald’s hamburger Arnie why don’t you HELP ME?) and of course she knew why, he drew back because Christine didn’t want her to have any help, this was Christine’s way of getting rid of her, Christine’s way of getting rid of the other woman, the competition, and now the dashboard instruments really were eyes, great round unemotional eyes watching her choke to death, eyes she could only see through a glowing jitter of black dots, dots that burst and spread as
(mamma oh my dear this I’m dying and SHE SEES ME SHE IS ALIVE ALIVE ALIVE OH MAMMA MY GOD CHRISTINE IS ALIVE) Arnie reached for her again. Now she had begun to thrash on her seat, her chest heaving spasmodically as she clawed at her throat. Her eyes were bulging. Her lips had begun to turn blue. Arnie was pounding her ineffectually on the back and yelling something. He grabbed her shoulder, apparently meaning to pull her out of the car, and then he suddenly winced and straightened, his hands going involuntarily to the small of his back.
Leigh twitched and thrashed. The blockage in her throat felt huge and hot and throbbing. She tried again to cough it up, more weakly this time. The lump didn’t budge. Now the whistle of the wind was beginning to fade, everything was beginning to fade, but her need for air didn’t seem so awful. Maybe she was dying, but suddenly it
