'We weren't always slaves, you know,' said Livia, with well-rehearsed bitterness. 'Oh no! We were respectable people, I'll have you know. Roman Citizens, in good standing. Wouldn't have been seen dead in a place like this ... But then he got into business troubles ...'
She turned the full force of her glare on her husband, who drooped a little more under the pressure of her gaze. 'They were strictly transitory difficulties,' he said sullenly. 'Cash flow problems. That sort of thing. If I'd been allowed a little more time, I'm sure I could have sorted things out to everyone's satisfaction ...'
'But you couldn't,' Livia said flatly. 'So our creditors had our business shut down and sold us both off as slaves at public auction, to cover our debts.' She actually sniffled a moment, overcome by the memory. 'The humiliation of it! All our friends and neighbours were there, watching. People who'd eaten at our table and made free with our money and influence! Some of them laughed. Some of them even bid!'
'We were lucky to be sold as a set, my dear,' said Marcellus. 'As husband and wife. We might have been parted forever.'
'Yes,' said Livia. 'There is that. We have never been parted, and never will be.'
'Never,' said Marcellus. They held hands, and while neither of them actually stopped scowling, there was a definite togetherness about them. With anyone else, it might have even been touching.
'Anyway,' said Marcellus, 'because we had some experience of running a drinking establishment, from earlier in our lives, we were bought by the owner of this appalling place, who needed staff in a hurry. We were bought by a factor; we've never seen the owner in person. If we'd known who it was, and what the bar was, we'd probably have volunteered for the salt mines. This place goes through staff faster than a slave galley. The last husband and wife were killed, cooked, and eaten, on a somewhat rowdy Saturday night. No-one even knows what happened to the pair before that.'
'No-one has ever lasted as long as us,' said Livia, with a certain amount of pride. 'Mainly because we don't take any crap from anyone. You have to be firm, but fair. Firm, and occasionally downright vicious. My husband may not look like much, but he's a real terror when he's roused.'
'Ah, but no-one could be more dangerous than you, my dear,' Marcellus said generously. He smiled fondly as he patted her hand. 'Noone can slip a purgative or a poison into a wine cup better than you.'
'And no-one cuts a throat more neatly than you, dear Marcellus. He's like a surgeon, he really is. It's a joy to watch him work.'
'Who actually owns this bar?' I said, feeling a distinct need to change the subject.
'Some powerful sorceress, of old times,' said Marcellus. 'Been around for ages, supposedly. Her name is Lilith.'
'Of course,' I said heavily. 'It would have to be.'
'We've never met her,' said Livia. 'Don't know anyone who has. A real absentee landlady.'
Suzie looked at me. 'Why would Lilith want to own a bar?'
'I'll ask her,' I said. 'After I've asked all the other questions on my list.'
'So,' said Marcellus. 'What unfortunate but necessary business brings you to this appalling place? What help and or advice can we offer you, so that you'll go away and stop bothering us?'
'We're looking for a Being of Power,' I said. 'Someone or something with enough magic to send us both back in Time, at least a couple of hundred years. Can you recommend anyone?'
Marcellus and Livia looked at each other. 'Well,' Livia said finally, 'if that's what you want... Your best bet would be the Roman gods and goddesses. They've all got more power than they know what to do with, and every single one of them is open to prayer, flattery, and bribes.'
'Not really an option,' I said. 'We upset Poseidonis really badly.'
Marcellus sniffed loudly. 'Don't let that worry you; the gods don't like each other much anyway. One big dysfunctional family, with incest and patricide always on the menu. I can name you half a dozen off-hand who'd help you out just to spite Poseidonis.'
'He's supposed to call himself Neptune these days,' said Livia. 'But he's so dim he keeps forgetting.'
I considered the suggestion. 'Can you trust these gods?' I said finally.
'Of course not,' said Marcellus. 'They're gods.'
'Suggest someone else,' said Suzie.
'Well, there is supposed to be this small town somewhere out in the South-West, where you can meet the Earth Mother in person, and petition her for help,' Marcellus said thoughtfully. 'But that's at least a month's travel, through dangerous territory.'
'Then there's the Druidic gods,' said Livia. 'Technically, it's death to have any dealings with them, under Roman law, but this is the Nightside, so ... How much money have you got?'
'Enough,' I said, hoping it was true.
'The Druid shamans are powerful magic-users,' said Marcellus. 'Especially outside the cities, but they're a vicious bunch, and treacherous with it.'
'We can look after ourselves,' said Suzie.
'What would they want for helping us?' I said.
'An arm and a leg,' said Marcellus. 'Possibly literally. Very keen on live sacrifice, when it comes to granting boons, your Druidic gods. Can you think of anyone you wouldn't much mind handing over to the Druids, for ritual torture and sacrifice?'
'Not yet,' said Suzie.
Livia shrugged. 'Most of the gods or beings will want payment in blood or suffering, your soul, or someone else's.'
'I suppose ... there's always Herne the Hunter,' Marcellus said doubtfully.
'Yes!' I said, slamming my hand down on the bar again, and then wished I hadn't, as something sticky clung to it as I pulled my hand back again. 'Of course, Herne the Hunter! I'd forgotten he was here, in this time.'
'Herne?' said Suzie. 'That scruffy godling who hangs around Rats' Alley with the rest of the homeless?'
'He's a Power, here and now,' I said. 'A Major Power, drawing his strength from the wild forests of old England, and all the creatures that live in it. He was, or more properly will be, Merlin's teacher. Oh yes ... He's got more than enough power to help us out.'
'If you can convince him,' said Livia.
'I can convince anyone,' said Suzie.
'Where can we find Herne the Hunter?' I said.
'He lives out in the wild woods, far and far from the cities and civilisation of Man,' said Marcellus. 'No-one finds him unless he wants to be found, and those that do mostly regret it. But my wife and I have had dealings with Herne and his Court in the past. We can take you right to him.'
'We could,' Livia said quickly. 'But what's in it for us? What will you give us to take you right to Herne the Hunter?'
Suzie and I looked at each other. 'What do you want?' I said resignedly.
'Our freedom,' said Marcellus. 'Freedom from this awful place, our awful lives, our undeserved slavery.'
'We will do anything, to be free again,' said Livia. 'And then we shall have our revenges on all those who scorned and mocked us!'
'Free us from our chains,' said Marcellus. 'And we will do anything for you.'
'Anything,' said Livia.
'All right,' I said. 'You've got a deal. Take us to Herne, and I'll break you free from whatever geas holds you here.'
Livia sneered at me. 'It's not that simple. The old witch Lilith is powerful; can you stop her sending agents after us, to reclaim her property?'
'She'll listen to me,' I said. 'She's my mother.'
Marcellus and Livia looked at me blankly for a moment, then they both backed away from me, the same way you'd back away from a snake you'd just realised was poisonous. There was shock in their faces, and fear, and then ... something else, but they turned away to mutter urgently to each other before I could figure out what it was. Suzie looked at me thoughtfully.
'I thought we'd agreed it would be a bad idea for this period's Lilith to find out you were here?'
'Give me a break,' I said quietly. 'I'm thinking on my feet here. I can find a way to break their geas; that's
