Flowers for Algernon

her head her curls bounce up and down, and she has dimples. Charlie doesn't know why they make such a fuss about a girl and why they always want to talk to her (he'd rather play ball or kick-the-can, or ringo-levio than talk to a girl) but all the boys are in love with Harriet so he is in love with her too.

She never teases him like the other kids, and he does tricks for her. He walks on the desks when the teacher isn't there. He throws erasers out the window, scribbles all over the blackboard and walls. And Harriet always screeches and giggles, 'Oh, lookit Charlie. Ain't he funny? Oh, ain't he silly?'

It's Valentine's Day, and the boys are talking about valentines they're going to give Harriet, so Charlie says, 'I'm gonna give Harriet a valentime too.'

They laugh and Barry says, 'Where you gonna get a valentime?'

'I'm gonna get her a pretty one. You'll see.'

But he doesn't have any money for a valentine, so he decides to give Harriet his locket that is heart-shaped like the valentines in the store windows. That night he takes tissue paper from his mother's drawer, and it takes a long time to wrap and tie it with a piece of red ribbon. Then he takes it to Hymie Roth the next day during lunch period in school and asks Hymie to write on the paper for him.

He tells Hymie to write: 'Dear Harriet, I think you are the most prettiest girl in the whole world. I like you very much and I love you. I want you to be my valentime. Your friend, Charlie Gordon.'

Hymie prints very carefully in large letters on the paper, laughing all the time, and he tells Charlie, 'Boy, this will knock her eyes out. Wait'll she sees this.'

Charlie is scared, but he wants to give Harriet that locket, so he follows her home from school and waits until she goes into her house. Then he sneaks into the hall and hangs the package on the inside of the doorknob. He rings the bell twice and runs across the street to hide behind the tree.

'When Harriet comes down she looks around to see who rang the bell. Then she sees the package. She takes it and goes upstairs. Charlie goes home from school and he gets a spanking because he took the tissue paper and rib­bon out of his mother's drawer without telling her. But he doesn't care. Tomorrow Harriet will wear the locket and tell all the boys he gave it to her. Then they'll see.

The next day he runs all the way to school, but it's too early. Harriet isn't there yet, and he's excited.

But when Harriet comes in she doesn't even look at him. She isn't wearing the locket. And she looks sore.

He does all kinds of things when Mrs. Janson isn't watching: He makes funny faces. He laughs out loud. He stands up on his seat and wiggles his fanny. He even throws a piece of chalk at Harold. But Harriet doesn't look at him even once. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she'll wear it tomorrow. She passes by in the hallway, but when he comes over to ask her she pushes past him without saying a word.

Down in the schoolyard her two big brothers are wait­ing for him.

Gus pushes him. 'You little bastard, did you write this dirty note to my sister?'

Charlie says he didn't write any dirty notes. 'I just gave her a valentime.'

Oscar who was on the football team before he gradu­ated from high school grabs Charlie's shirt and tears off two buttons. 'You keep away from my kid sister, you de­generate. You don't belong in this school anyway.'

He pushes Charlie over to Gus who catches him by the throat. Charlie is scared and starts to cry.

Then they start to hurt him. Oscar punches him in the nose, and Gus knocks him on the ground and kicks him in the side and then both of them kick him, one and then the other, and some of the other kids in the yard— Charlie's friends—come running screaming and clapping hands: 'Fight! Fight! They're beating up Charlie!'

His clothes are torn and his nose is bleeding and one of his teeth is broken, and after Gus and Oscar go away he sits on the sidewalk and cries. The blood tastes sour. The other kids just laugh and shout: 'Charlie got a licking! Charlie got a licking!' And then Mr. Wagner, one of the caretakers from the school, comes and chases them away. He takes Charlie into the boys' room and tells him to wash off the blood and dirt from his face and hands before he goes back home….

I guess I was pretty dumb because I believed what people told me. I shouldn't have trusted Hymie or anyone.

I never remembered any of this before today, but it came back to me after I thought about the dream. It has something to do with the feeling about Miss Kinnian read­ing my progress reports. Anyway, I'm glad now I don't have to ask anyone to write things for me. Now I can do it for myself.

But I just realized something. Harriet never gave me back my locket.

April 18

I found out what a Rorschach is. It's the test with the inkblots, the one I took before the operation. As soon as I saw what it was, I got frightened. I knew Burt was going to ask me to find the pictures, and I knew I wouldn't be able to. I was thinking, if only there was some way of knowing what kind of pictures were hidden there. Maybe there weren't any pictures at all. Maybe it was just a trick to see if I was dumb enough to look for something that wasn't there. Just thinking about it made me sore at him.

'All right, Charlie,' he said, 'you've seen these cards before, remember?'

'Of course, I remember.'

The way I said it, he knew I was angry, and he looked up at me surprised.

'Anything wrong, Charlie?' 'No, nothings wrong. Those inkblots upset me.' He smiled and shook his head. 'Nothing to be upset about. This is just one of the standard personality tests. Now I want you to look at this card. What might this be? What do you see on this card? People see all sorts of things in these inkblots. Tell me what it might be for you—what it makes you think of.'

I was shocked. I stared at the card and then at him. That wasn't what I had expected him to say at all. 'You mean there are no pictures hidden in those inkblots?' Burt frowned and took off his glasses. 'What?' 'Pictures! Hidden in the inkblots! Last time you told me that everyone could see them and you wanted me to find them too.'

'No, Charlie. I couldn't have said that.' 'What do you mean?' I shouted at him. Being so afraid of the inkblots had made me angry at myself and at Burt too. 'That's what you said to me. Just because you're smart enough to go to college doesn't mean you have to make fun of me. I'm sick and tired of everybody laughing at me.'

I don't recall ever being so angry before. I don't think it was at Burt himself, but suddenly everything exploded. I tossed the Rorschach cards on the table and walked out. Professor Nemur was passing by in the hall, and when I rushed past him without saying hello he knew something was wrong. He and Burt caught up with me as I was about to go down in the elevator.

'Charlie,' said Nemur, grabbing my arm. 'Wait a minute. What is this all about?'

I shook free and nodded at Burt. 'I'm sick and tired of people making fun of me. That's all. Maybe before I didn't know any better, but now I do, and I don't like it.'

'Nobody's making fun of you here, Charlie,' said Nemur.

'What about the inkblots? Last time Burt told me there were pictures in the ink—that everyone could see, and I—'

'Look, Charlie, would you like to hear the exact words Burt said to you, and your answers as well? We have a tape-recording of that testing session. We can replay it and let you hear exactly what was said.'

I went back with them to the psych office with mixed feelings. I was sure they had made fun of me and tricked me when I was too ignorant to know better. My anger was an exciting feeling, and I didn't give it up easily. I was ready to fight.

As Nemur went to the files to get the tape, Burt ex­plained: 'Last time, I used almost the exact words I used today. It's a requirement of these tests that the procedure be the same each time it's administered.'

'I'll believe that when I hear it.'

A look passed between them. I felt the blood rush to my face again. They were laughing at me. But then I real­ized what I had just said, and hearing myself I understood the reason for the look. They weren't laughing. They knew what was happening to me. I had reached a new level, and anger and suspicion were my first reactions to the world around me.

Burt's voice boomed over the tape recorder:

'Now I want you to look at this card, Charlie. What might this be? What do you see on this card? People see all kinds of things in these inkblots. Tell me what it makes you think of…'

The same words, almost the same tone of voice he had used minutes ago in the lab. And then I heard my an­swers—childish, impossible things. And I dropped limply into the chair beside Professor Nemur's desk. 'Was that