EVEN VAMPIRES GET THE BLUES

'Clare? Where are you, love?' Finn loomed next to me, hurling rocks aside as he searched for my cousin. 'Can you hear me?'

'Of course I can hear you,' came a muffled reply from about ten feet away. Finn gave a relieved shout and flung rocks willy-nilly until Clare's torso was uncovered.

'What about Pilar and Caspar?' I asked Paen as he turned back to me. The rear side of him was covered in blood, his shirt tattered and bloody from where he had hit the debris-strewn ground. Beyond him, Uilleam and the ghosts approached, leaping from rock to rock.

Paen snarled an oath as he helped me to my feet. 'Who the hell cares about them?'

'Oh! Just look at this shirt! Just look at it! It's completely ruined!' Clare pushed aside Finn's helpful hand as she lunged a few feet away to where Pilar and Beppo emerged unscathed from behind a truck-sized boulder. I was glad to see that despite being bloody and filthy, Clare hadn't been hurt.

A state that would change if she had her way.

'This is the second outfit of mine you've ruined,' she screeched at Pilar, snatching up a rock and brandishing it. 'This shirt is raw silk, hand-screened by Donna Karan herself! And now it's totally ruined!'

'Clare, no, he's the monkey god! You can't hit a god!' I yelled, but not before she cracked Pilar upside the head with the stone. He stared in stark surprise at her for a moment, then threw his head back and roared his fury to the night sky.

'Christ on a handcar, I can't take her anywhere,' I swore, starting toward her—but at the exact moment that Pilar turned his furious eyes to my cousin, an explosion sent us all ducking. Debris rained down upon us, rocks and sticks and chunks of earth pelting us without discretion, the air thick with the stink of demons as Caspar emerged from a pyramid of broken rock. Behind him, a good hundred or so demons swarmed out of the ground, leaping onto the nearby rocks, their shrieks cutting into the night.

'Sun Wukong!' Caspar bellowed, his face black with rage.

'Oh, shit,' I said, watching in horror as Caspar flung open his arms and called up his demon horde.

'My feelings exactly,' Paen answered, scooping me up in his arms and hauling me to the large rock Uilleam was perched on. 'May I?' he asked, setting me down before holding out his hand.

'Sun Wukong, you have deceived me!' Caspar screamed, pointing at Pilar.

Uilleam grinned and yanked off the sword that was strapped to his back. Since he had another in his right hand, I guessed the second was a spare, for emergencies. 'Aye, ye're welcome to Old Mab. She's got a wicked bite to her.'

'Um… Paen…'

'As you deserved, Yan Luowang,' Pilar called back to him. Beppo hopped off his shoulder as Pilar leaped a good eight feet onto the boulder nearest him, striking a dramatic pose as he addressed the enraged demon lord. 'You have defiled this reality for long years. Now it is time for you to be sent back to the fifth hell where you belong!'

'Stay here where you're safe, love,' Paen told me before nodding toward the demons climbing down the rocks. 'Shall we?'

'Aye, we shall,' Uilleam answered, then lifted his sword high as he gave a battle cry. The ghosts shouted in return as they ran forward to meet the onslaught of demons, Finn and Paen at the front.

'This time, I will have my revenge,' Caspar swore, lifting his right hand. Power crackled off it like miniature lightning. 'This time, I will destroy you.'

I closed my eyes for a moment and wished myself anywhere but here, about to witness the showdown of two ancient gods. I opened them again when I heard a chirruping—Beppo was picking through the rubble at my feet.

'Isn't this exciting?' Clare asked, coming over to where I was seated. 'It's just like something out of Lord of the Ri—'

I shot her a look that stopped the words dead, and slid off the rock to carefully make the few steps over to where Beppo was struggling with a stone.

'You're too sensitive,' Clare told me, then frowned at the monkey. 'What's he doing?'

'I don't know, but I have a feeling—hey! Come back here with that! That's my statue!'

The clash of steel and screams of demons rose into a wave of noise as the ghosts and vampires met the attacking demons. I threw myself after Beppo, intent on retrieving the black monkey statue he'd found in the rubble, but at that moment, two bright lights hit the area, taking everyone by surprise for a second. The lights were blinding, causing me to stumble over a rock and hit the ground a second time.

'Cool, reenactors,' a black silhouette with an American voice said from behind the huge arc lights.

Around us, the battle raged, the noise of it almost deafening.

'What are those ugly brown things they're fighting?' another voice asked.

A red wave of pain and nausea rolled over me as my bad arm smashed against a rock. I retched up my last meal, gasping for air, desperately trying to stay conscious as my body rid itself of everything in my stomach.

'Who cares?' the first voice answered. 'Just film it, it's great footage. Watch your step, there's a woman puking right here.'

'That's my cousin, if you don't mind,' Clare said indignantly as she bent over me, pausing to ask in a much more civil tone, 'Are you movie people?'

'Dude, check out the babe,' the second man said, nudging the first with his elbow.

'I'm a model, not a babe,' Clare answered, and despite her frivolous nature, ignored them to help me to my feet.

'Get the statue,' I gasped, the world spinning around me as I tried to fight down another wave of nausea.

'What? Oh.' Clare pointed at where Beppo was leaping from rock to rock, dodging the flying bodies and spinning swords to reach his master. 'Too late.'

'No, it bloody well isn't,' I answered, staggering forward as best I could.

Sam! Stay where you're safe! Paen was next to a huge boulder, swinging a sword black with demon blood, one demon clinging to his side while two others rushed toward him. Behind him, Finn was fighting with a battle-axe, the two men protecting each other's backs. They used their weapons with such skill, and moved with such coordination—one swinging left while the other went right—I wondered if it was due to skill or experience.

That damned monkey has the statue. I'm OK, just take care of yourself. Above you!

Paen snarled an obscenity in my head as a demon threw itself down on him. I knew I would be helpless in battle with a broken arm, so I plunged forward, through the fringes of ghosts battling demons.

'That's mine,' I yelled to Pilar as Beppo leaped up his arm, the Jilin statue in the monkey's furry little hands.

Pilar smiled as he took the statue from Beppo, turning to raise it triumphantly over his head. 'Behold, Yan Luowang! The statue which you created in my image! It has returned to me at last.'

'Nooooooo!' screamed Caspar from where he perched on a rock. His body twisted in anguish—or so I thought for a moment. As it continued to twist it grew, lengthening, folding up on itself, his features becoming misshapen parodies of a human face. I realized then that he was changing out of his human form, his true demon lord body being revealed. It was a horrible sight, so foul my eyes instinctively skittered away from looking at him. 'Revenge… will… be mine!'

'Into this vessel you poured all your hatred, all your knowledge of the Old Ways. With its destruction, so shall you be returned to your origins. Return to the fifth hell, Yan Luowang! Return and leave this world in peace!'

'No!' I screamed, Caspar's anguished howl a horrible echo. I snatched up a palm-sized rock, took aim, and hurled it directly at Pilar's head. The piece fell harmlessly at his feet as he turned to look at me. 'I brought it back! It's mine! You are not going to destroy it!'

'You will not win this time!' the horrible monstrosity that was Caspar screamed, and leaped toward us. Finn, Paen, and the ghosts all moved as one to stop him.

'Man, what's with ugly guy's costume? Someone's been playing way too much Dungeons and Dragons,' one of the film people said.

'Dude,' the other one said in acknowledgement, and turned the camera on the sight of the demon lord