The Last of the Red-Hot Vampires

lectures, my stomach continued to churn unpleasantly.

'I told you—I've only been to the Court once, for a petition that failed. Non-members are seldom allowed in, and then only on Court business. I can't imagine they'd deny you and your champion entrance since you're undergoing the trials, but politeness will count heavily on your side.'

'I'm always polite. Except to Sarah, but she's my oldest friend, so plain speaking is allowed,' I said, taking a deep breath to calm my stomach. Theo must have felt my nerves, because he put his hands on my shoulders, giving them a supportive squeeze.

If you prefer, you can leave the talking to me. I might not be a member of the Court, but I'm more comfortable with the members than you are.

No, it's OK. I can do this. You're sure they won't separate us?

I won't let them.

I was comforted both by the warmth of his hands on my shoulders and by the smile that brushed my mind. With another deep breath, I pushed through the bluish haze, and entered the Court of the Divine Blood.

'OK, now I'm impressed. I can't even begin to imagine the equations it would take to explain the time and space of the Court.' I stopped on the cobblestoned corner of what appeared to be a pleasant European village circa the early eighteenth century. Ahead of us was a town square complete with well. Several people in modern dress were sitting on the broad wooden lip of the well, chatting. More people strolled through the square, some carrying briefcases, others walking in small groups, a few popping in and out of the half-timbered, Tudor-style buildings that lined the square. Someone whizzed past us on a bicycle, the rider chiming happily on a bike bell that warned of his approach. An orange cat sat in a pool of sunlight, licking her paws. Three dogs chased a small, laughing child. Overhead, birds sang elaborate songs in the trees that lined the square. Above it all, tall spires of various buildings could be seen over the blue-tile roofs capping the stone and wood structures that surrounded the square. It was idyllic, pleasant, and completely mind-boggling when you considered that it was all located in a small English castle.

'As with most elements of the Court, it's best if you just accept it and not try to figure it out,' Theo said, consulting a signpost with several narrow arrows on it.

'I've never been one for blind faith,' I reminded him, smiling as a hummingbird flitted toward me, pausing in front of my face to give me a thorough look before flying off. 'Don't get me wrong, this is really lovely, but it's not very heavenly, is it?'

Theo looked amused. 'What were you expecting? Fluffy white clouds and choirs of angels playing the harp?'

A young woman walked by carrying a tray of pies. They smelled…well, heavenly. I sniffed the air appreciably. 'Maybe nothing quite so trite. So the Court is made up of a town?'

'Yes. Or a palazzo, or cathedral, or forest. The one time I was here, it resembled a desert, complete with snakes and scorpions. It all depends on the whim of the sovereign.'

I turned from admiring the clothing displayed in a shop at the edge of the square, and looked warily at Theo. 'Sovereign? You mean…er…'

'No. I told you, this is not heaven. The Christian concept of God is based on the Sovereign, just as are the deities of other religions, but they are not the same thing.'

'But there is one…er…deity in charge?'

'The sovereign isn't one entity.'

'So it's multiple beings?' I asked, thinking of the Greek and Roman gods.

'No. The sovereign is the sovereign. Neither one, nor many. It just is.'

'You refer to the head of the Court as an 'it'?' I asked, more confused than ever.

Theo shrugged. 'The sovereign has no gender. It is simply the sovereign. It presides over the Court and enforces the canon. All else is done by the mare.'

'Mare? Mare like the dark area on the moon?'

He smiled, and my heart turned over. 'No, in this case it's an old term that is more or less equivalent to princess. The mare are the sovereign's right hand, so to speak. It will be one of them who grants you membership to the Court once you pass the last trial.'

'How many mare are there?'

'Three.'

'So the mare are female, but the leader of the Court is gender neutral?' My mind balked at accepting so many impossible ideas at once, but I was firm with it. My new attitude was going to be one of 'go with the flow' that held off judgment until I had sufficient information to make an intelligent conclusion.

'That's right. Ah. That looked like a messenger. Stay here. I'll be right back.' Theo dashed off down one of the narrow alleys that snaked off of the square. I forced a pleasant expression on my face, and tried to look as if I frequently found myself in pseudo-European, out-of-time town squares.

Two young men in a small horse cart drove past me, the horse's hooves clip-clopping pleasantly on the cobblestone. Behind them, a young woman in a short black skirt and long pink scarf, perched on a bright yellow motorbike, whipped around the horse cart with a wave at the driver.

This place was definitely going to take some getting used to.

'Well, hel-lo there, beautiful.'

I turned to face the speaker. A man wearing a skimpy tank top and black and turquoise biker pants leaned against a light pole, giving me a salacious once-over. 'You must be new. I haven't seen you around the Court. The name's Gabriel.'

'Gabriel? I'm surprised to see you without your trumpet.' I didn't protest when the man took my hand and gave it a rather sloppy kiss, although I badly wanted to wipe my hand afterward.

'Alas, I am not that Gabriel,' the man said with a smile that bordered on a leer as he not-so-subtly eyed my breasts. I crossed my arms over my chest. 'I am a cherub, not a vessel.'

'A vessel?'

'Gabriel. He's a vessel. So, are you here alone?'

'You are not a cherub,' I said, willing to be polite, but not made a fool of. I casually stepped to the side, to put a little space between us.

His leer got a bit brighter as he leaned closer. 'Winged babies, right? In diapers, flitting around from cloud to cloud? Cupid and all that?'

'That is the standard image of cherubs,' I agreed. 'I'm sure I don't need to point out that you're far from that.'

'It's a common misconception amongst the mortals.' He suddenly touched my neck, mumbling something about a bit of lint on my collar when I backed out of his reach. 'The truth about us is much more pleasant, I think you'll agree. You are new here, aren't you? You must have a tour.'

'I'm actually waiting here for someone,' I said as Gabriel the not-so-very-cherubic took my hand and tucked it into his arm.

'This won't take long. It's best to think of this incarnation of the Court as a giant wheel, with the main square here as the hub. There are three areas on the outer edges of the town, all reachable from this square,' he said, ignoring my protest. He waved a hand toward the people at the well. 'That's the equivalent of the office water cooler. Those are shops along the edges.'

I had a bit of trouble coming to grips with the idea of a celestial shopping mall, but managed to get my mind to overlook the trouble spots and move on. 'Shops. All right. Does the…er…does the sovereign change the appearance of the Court often?'

Gabriel shrugged, and escorted me down one of the four cobbled streets that led away from the square. 'Whenever it gets the urge to, I guess. Over here is the petitioner's park, and through that archway is the library.'

I caught a glimpse of a green open space as Gabriel whisked me by an arched doorway into another area. 'You'll forgive my ignorance, but what exactly does a cherub do?'

'Communication, for the most part. I'm in charge of the Internet. See that building? That's the athonite. Don't go in there if you don't want to be bored to death. It's full of hermits who prose on about nothing for hours on end.'

'You are in charge of the Internet? In charge how?' I asked, little warning signals going off in my mind. I