The Last of the Red-Hot Vampires

swear, if I ever get back to the Court, I will file a grievance about their slack ways…Where was I? Oh, yes, we don't have much time. Listen carefully, Portia Harding. What I am about to say to you is going to change your life.'

'Oh dear—the fungus isn't doing some sort of permanent brain damage?' I said, backing away from the circle a bit more. I took a few deep breaths of sweet summer air and tried to calm the worry in my mind. This circle had been here a long time—I couldn't be the only person to suck the fungus off a blade of grass, could I? If it was truly dangerous, surely the authorities would have done something about it.

'I am a virtue. I am in danger, grave danger, and I cannot stay or all will be destroyed. Do you understand? Everything! Life, existence as we know it, light and dark—it will all be destroyed. Your request came at the perfect time.'

'Indeed.' The results of inhaling the fungus spores paced around me in an agitated way. I wondered how long the delusions would last. 'I hate to sound stupid, but what request—'

'There is no time for lengthy explanations,' she said, snatching up my hand and pressing it between her own. I stared down at them, amazed again at how real the whole fantasy seemed. Her fingers tightened around mine in a grip that I was almost ready to swear was real…almost. 'I must leave now. As you summoned me, so I answer: unto you I bequeath the Gift. Use it wisely. The penalty for abuse is too horrible to speak of.'

The wind whipped past us as my hand grew hot in hers.

'This is absolutely amazing,' I said, wishing I had my laptop to take notes on the experience. Heat from her hand seemed to creep up my arm, gaining speed and intensity. 'I'm sorry, but I have to try this…'

I tried to yank my hand from hers, but her grip was too strong.

Her eyes lit with a soft glow as she looked deep into me, all the way down into my soul. It was such a piercing, intense gaze, that for a moment my body froze, leaving me unable to move. As she spoke, she released my hand and touched me on the center of my forehead. 'My virtue passes to you, Portia Harding. May the sovereign protect you from those who would destroy you.'

The heat that had started in my hand now swept through me, a fever of such intensity that I wanted to shred my clothes and find the nearest body of water. My skin burned, my blood boiled, my mind cried out for relief.

'Oh, great. Now this stupid fungus is making me feverish. I just know I'm going to end up in the…the… whatchamacallit. Hospital.'

The need for something to quench the raging inferno inside me left my brain confused and unable to focus, driving out all other thoughts but relief. I struggled to maintain control, to breath slowly and deeply until the worst of it passed, but the fever that burned me from the inside out didn't abate. It consumed me, sweeping me along in its inferno, pushing me deeper into its burning depths until I threw back my arms and screamed to the heavens for deliverance.

A cold, wet drop hit my forehead. Another struck my cheek.

'What…I…rain?' I panted, watching with wonder as, out of nowhere, clouds formed overhead, at first soft, hazy white wisps, quickly merging into clumps that darkened until they were heavy and foreboding. Soft little pats of noise indicated the rain that gently touched my heated skin wasn't just my imagination…all around me in the secluded copse, raindrops fell, caressing me, soothing me, blessedly taking away the fever and leaving behind a calm tranquility that gently eased the fire within. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back to welcome the blissful wetness. 'Sweet mother of reason, I've never felt anything so good in my life. This is sheer heaven.'

'No, this is the Gift. I thank you for your help. And now, I must be gone before they find me.'

So wonderful did the rain feel that I had forgotten for a moment about my hallucination. I cracked an eye open to see if she was still there. The faery ring, and everything around it, was empty of all life but me.

'Good. Maybe the hallucinogen is losing its power,' I said as I swung around to make sure I was alone. Something odd struck me. I turned in a circle again, slower this time, my frown deepening as I looked upward to the cloud that still gently rained down on me.

There were no other clouds visible in the sky—just a small one over my head.

'You're part of the whole mushroom thing,' I told the cloud. 'I'm only imagining you're there, and imaging that I'm wet, and imagining that strange women are appearing and disappearing without cause. Oh, hurrah, Sarah is back. Sanity returneth.'

Through the trees that ringed the hilltop, a flash of red heralded my friend's return. I was relieved to see her, and struggled with the idea of not mentioning to her that I'd been inadvertently poisoned by potent fungus, but concern that I might suffer some sort of permanent damage convinced me that it would be best to admit all, and seek medical assistance.

'Sorry I took so long. I had a little difficulty with a right turn…dear god in heaven, what are you doing?' Sarah stopped about ten feet away from me, her eyes huge.

'Hallucinating, if you must know, and all because you wanted to see a silly fungus ring. Would you mind taking me to the nearest hospital? My mind is under the influence of some pretty psychedelic mushrooms, and I think I need to detox somewhere quiet.'

'You're…you're raining!'

'No, that's just part of the hallucination.' I stopped, a little chill rippling down my back. 'Wait a sec…are you saying you can see the cloud above me?'

'Of course I can see it,' Sarah answered, walking around me in a big circle. 'I'd have to be blind to miss it. It's right above you, one cloud, raining on you. Nowhere else, just you. How on earth are you doing that?'

'No,' I said shaking my head, refusing to believe the impossible. 'It's not really here; it's just an illusion brought on by hallucinogenic fungus. You must have been close enough to the ring to have breathed it in as well. We should get to the nearest hospital if this fungus is so potent.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Portia,' Sarah said, coming to a stop in front of me, her face beaming awe and delight. 'It's the faery ring! This is part of the magic, although I have to admit I've never heard of rain faeries. Still, even you can't dispute that this is something well out of the realm of normal!'

'Oh, I admit it's not normal to get high off of fungus found lying around on the top of a hill, but it's certainly nothing that can't be explained by an understanding of chemistry, medicine, and biology.' I thought for a few seconds, my eyes narrowing as I mulled over a possible explanation. 'It could have been Hope.'

'It could have been what?'

'Who, not what. A woman by the name of Hope. Perhaps she was real after all. It's entirely feasible that this whole thing was a setup, you know. She may well have known that there was a fungus here with properties that left someone susceptible to hypnotic suggestion.'

Sarah fixed me with a confused gaze. 'Someone named Hope hypnotized you while I was gone?'

'It would explain the delusion about the rain cloud. And the lights could have been the hallucinogenic starting to work on my synapses. Yes. I like that hypothesis. I am willing to bet that if Hope hadn't heard you coming up the hill, she would have tried to rob me. It's probably some sort of a scheme to fleece innocent tourists. We should definitely report this to the police, after we go to the hospital to get checked out, naturally.'

'Portia, you're not making a lick of sense,' Sarah said, shaking her head and pointing to where the fantasy cloud hovered over me, still gently raining. 'I have not been hypnotized, nor am I under the influence of any drugs, hallucinogenic or otherwise. You have a cloud over your head, raining only on you. You are standing in the middle of a very famous faery ring, and you ate something that grew out of that ring.'

'You're right,' I said, stepping outside the ring. The rain cloud followed me. I ignored it as best I could.

Sarah looked remarkably cheerful. 'Really? You admit I won the bet? You concede that this is a bona fide paranormal event?'

'Of course not! I meant that you were right about me ingesting the blades of grass I was chewing on. Not that I ate them per se, but if the fungal spores had been brushed onto them, and I put them into my mouth, it could well mean that Hope had no part in it, and it's all just an unfortunate coincidence.'

'I think you'd better tell me exactly what happened while I was gone,' Sarah said, pulling out a small voice recorder. 'Start with the moment I left. Er…I don't suppose you can make that go away?' She pointed to the cloud.

'It's not really here. You just think it's here. No, I mean I just think it's here…wait, that doesn't fit the hypothesis…'

'Start at the beginning and tell me everything,' she said in a businesslike, brisk fashion.

I spent the time it took to fill her in puzzling out how she could be witness to my delusion. 'It must be mass