More Than Human

at them or don’t see them if we do look. If anyone ever could report to you exactly what he saw and thought while walking ten feet down the street, you’d get the most twisted, clouded, partial picture you ever ran across. And nobody ever looks at what’s around him with any kind of attention until he gets into a place like this. The fact that he’s looking at past events doesn’t matter; what counts is that he’s seeing clearer than he ever could before, just because, for once, he’s trying.

‘Now – about this „thirty-three” business. I don’t think a man could get a nastier shock than to find he has someone else’s memories. The ego is too important to let slide that way. But consider: all your thinking is done in code and you have the key to only about a tenth of it. So you run into a stretch of code which is abhorrent to you. Can’t you see that the only way you’ll find the key to it is to stop avoiding it?’

‘You mean I’d started to remember with… with somebody else’s mind?’

‘It looked like that to you for a while, which means something. Let’s try to find out what.’

‘All right.’ I felt sick. I felt tired. And I suddenly realized that being sick and being tired was a way of trying to get out of it.

‘Baby is three,’he said.

Baby is maybe. Me, three, thirty-three, me, you Kew you.

‘Kew!’ I yelled. Stern didn’t say anything. ‘Look, I don’t know why, but I think I know how to get to this, and this isn’t the way. Do you mind if I try something else?’

‘You’re the doctor,’ he said.

I had to laugh. Then I closed my eyes.

There, through the edges of the hedges, the ledges and wedges of windows were shouldering up to the sky. The lawns were sprayed-on green, neat, and clean, and all the flowers looked as if they were afraid to let their petals break and be untidy.

I walked up the drive in my shoes. I’d had to wear shoes and my feet couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to go to the house, but I had to.

I went up the steps between the big white columns and looked at the door. I wished I could see through it, but it was too white and thick. There was a window the shape of a fan over it, too high up though, and a window on each side of it, but they were all crudded up with coloured glass. I hit on the door with my hand and left dirt on it.

Nothing happened so I hit it again. It got snatched open and a tall, thin coloured woman stood there. ‘What you want?’

I said I had to see Miss Kew.

‘Well, Miss Kew don’t want to see the likes of you,’ she said. She talked too loud. ‘You got a dirty face.’

I started to get mad then. I was already pretty sore about having to come here, walking around near people in the daytime and all. I said, ‘My face ain’t got nothin’ to do with it. Where’s Miss Kew? Go on, find her for me.’

She gasped. ‘You can’t speak to me like that!’

I said, ‘I didn’t want to speak to you like any way. Let me in.’ I started wishing for Janie. Janie could of moved her. But I had to handle it by myself. I wasn’t doing so hot, either. She slammed the door before I could so much as curse at her.

So I started kicking on the door. For that, shoes are great. After a while, she snatched the door open again so sudden I almost went on my can. She had a broom with her. She screamed at me, ‘You get away from here, you trash, or I’ll call the police!’ She pushed me and I fell.

I got up off the porch floor and went for her. She stepped back and whupped me one with the broom as I went past, but anyhow I was inside now. The woman was making little shrieking noises and coming for me. I took the broom away from her and then somebody said,’ Miriam!’ in a voice like a grown goose.

I froze and the woman went into hysterics. ‘Oh, Miss Alicia, look out! He’ll kill us all. Get the police. Get the – ’

‘Miriam!’ came the honk, and Miriam dried up.

There at the top of the stairs was this prune-faced woman with a dress on that had lace on it. She looked a lot older than she was, maybe because she held her mouth so tight. I guess she was about thirty-three – thirty-three. She had mean eyes and a small nose.

I asked, ‘Are you Miss Kew?’

‘I am. What is the meaning of this invasion?’

‘I got to talk to you, Miss Kew.’

‘Don’t say „got to”. Stand up straight and speak out.’

The maid said, ‘I’ll get the police.’

Miss Kew turned on her. ‘There’s time enough for that, Miriam. Now, you dirty little boy, what do you want?’

‘I got to speak to you by yourself,’ I told her.

‘Don’t you let him do it, Miss Alicia,’ cried the maid.

‘Be quiet, Miriam. Little boy, I told you not to say „got to”. You may say whatever you have to say in front of Miriam.’

‘Like hell.’ They both gasped. I said, ‘Lone told me not to.’

‘Miss Alicia, are you goin’ to let him – ‘

‘Be quiet, Miriam! Young man, you will keep a civil – ‘ Then her eyes popped up real round. ‘Who did you say…’

‘Lone said so.’

‘Lone.’ She stood there on the stairs looking at her hands. Then she said, ‘Miriam, that will be all.’ And you wouldn’t know it was the same woman, the way she said it.

The maid opened her mouth, but Miss Kew stuck out a finger that might as well of had a rifle-sight on the end of it. The maid beat it.

‘Hey,’ I said, ‘here’s your broom.’ I was just going to throw it, but Miss Kew got to me and took it out of my hand.

‘In there,’ she said.

She made me go ahead of her into a room as big as our swimming hole. It had books all over and leather on top of the tables, with gold flowers drawn into the corners.

She pointed to a chair. ‘Sit there. No, wait a moment.’ She went to the fireplace and got a newspaper out of a box and brought it over and unfolded it on the seat of the chair. ‘Now sit down.’

I sat on the paper and she dragged up another chair, but didn’t put no paper on it.

‘What is it? Where is Lone?’

‘He died,’ I said.

She pulled in her breath and went white. She stared at me until her eyes started to water.

‘You sick?’ I asked her. ‘Go ahead, throw up. It’ll make you feel better.’

‘Dead? Lone is dead?’

‘Yeah. There was a flash flood last week and when he went out the next night in that big wind, he walked under a old oak tree that got gullied under by the flood. The tree come down on him.’

‘Came down on him,’ she whispered. ‘Oh, no… it’s not true.’

‘It’s true, all right. We planted him this morning. We couldn’t keep him around no more. He was beginning to st- ‘

‘Stop!’ She covered her face with her hands.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘I’ll be all right in a moment,’ she said in a low voice. She went and stood in front of the fireplace with her back to me. I took off one of my shoes while I was waiting for her to come back. But instead she talked from where she was. ‘Are you Lone’s little boy?’

‘Yeah. He told me to come to you.’

‘Oh, my dear child!’ She came running back and I thought for a second she was going to pick me up or something, but she stopped short and wrinkled up her nose a little bit. ‘Wh-what’s your name?’

‘Gerry,’ I told her.

‘Well, Gerry, how would you like to live with me in this nice big house and – and have new clean clothes – and everything?’