This Side of Heaven

want more?' he asked, his voice thick with desire.

'Yes... more.' She clung to his back, her nails scoring his bronzed flesh with love trails.

'Deeper. Faster.' His thrusts grew wilder, hotter, more intense.

'Yes!' she screamed. 'Harder... harder...'

And he obeyed her command, giving her the depth of his hardness. Suddenly she cried out, tears of joy cascading down her cheeks. He listened to her moans of fulfillment, taking them into his mouth, savoring their sweet, undis­guised surrender. She was his once again, as she had been in his dreams, only the reality far excelled the dreams. He felt her shuddering release, her body tightening, clenching him like a tight fist. With one final, brutal stab, he fell headlong into climatic fulfillment. His groans echoed in the stillness of the early morning, their guttural eruption the sounds of a healthy male animal who had claimed his mate.

Cyn had never known such total wonder, such complete and utter satisfaction. Nothing in her life had prepared her for Nate Hodges's possession.

His big body lay over her, damp and hot and heavy. He raised himself onto his elbows, looking down into her dazed brown eyes. 'Did I hurt you?' He knew he'd taken her with savage force, seeking his own pleasure while trying to give the same to her.

'No,' she said, reaching up to touch his face, a face so dear to her. 'But I am lying here in the wet grass and I'm getting cold.'

He smiled. Standing, he pulled her to her feet and picked her up. She shivered, partly from the cool morning breeze on her damp flesh and partly as an aftershock from such unequaled fulfillment.

'Stay with me a few more hours.' Holding her naked body against his, he stepped inside the house.

'Will you send me away then?' she asked, knowing the answer before he replied.

'I'll have to,' he said.

'Let me help you. Let me stand by you through what­ever trouble you're in.' She kissed his neck as her fingers laced themselves through his long hair.

'I don't want to talk about it. Not now. I want to make love to you again while I still can.' He carried her down the long, dark corridor, kicked open his bedroom door and placed her on his rumpled sheets.

She opened her arms, taking him into her body, giving her lover, her fierce and lonely warrior, the safety he could find only within her embrace.

Nate took all she had to give, knowing he would never get enough. But for now, he was satisfied. For now he had found a sanctuary for his heart and soul.

Later, he would have to send her away. Even if these pre­cious moments were all they would ever have, he could sur­vive as long as he knew she was alive and safe. But if anything ever happened to her, if Ryker harmed her, then Nate knew he would be eternally lost. Cynthia Ellen Porter was his very soul.

Chapter 9

Cyn sat on the edge of the bed in Nate's sparsely deco­rated bedroom. She pulled the lapels of her aqua robe across her breasts, then tightened the belt. When she had awak­ened, she'd found her gown and robe on the wooden chair beside the bed. Nate, dressed in nothing but his cutoff jeans, had been standing by the window looking outside.

They hadn't spoken as their gazes met, and the hot pas­sion that had existed between them in the previous hours ignited once again. She'd been shocked by her own primi­tive need to have him touch her.

When he had approached her, she'd held up the sheet that barely covered her naked body.

'We need to talk before you leave,' he had said. 'I brought in your gown and robe from the garden. Put them on while I fix coffee.'

He'd left her alone then, giving her time to think about what she had done and what she was going to do now. She loved Nate Hodges. That and that alone was the only clear fact in her mind. She had come to him last night, throwing caution to the wind, forgetting everything except the pas­sionate need to become his woman.

And now, he was going to send her away.

Common sense told her that she should go, leave him and find a way to overcome the overwhelming desire she felt for him. After all, he was hardly the kind of man she would have chosen for herself. He had spent almost all of his adult life as a navy SEAL, a professional warrior, a trained and highly skillful killer. By his very nature, Nate was a violent man. How could she ever reconcile herself to loving a man capable of destroying another human being with his bare hands?

And yet, how could she keep from loving him when every feminine instinct she possessed told her that Nate Hodges needed her, more than he had ever needed anyone or any­thing in his life?

Nate entered the bedroom. He handed her a mug filled with freshly brewed coffee. 'Sugar and milk,' he said.

Accepting the mug, she smiled. 'Thanks.'

He sat down in the wooden chair beside the bed. Their knees almost touched. Cyn readjusted her sitting position, moving her legs away from Nate's.

'Should I apologize for what happened?' he asked, looking at her, trying to gauge her reaction.

She stared down into the creamy brown coffee. 'What happened between us was a mutual decision. I... I came to you because I couldn't stay away. And... and you—'

'Took you because I couldn't stop myself.'

Jerking her head up, she glared at him, wondering if he regretted making love to her. 'You make me feel vulnera­ble, Nate, and I don't like feeling that way. For as long as I can remember, I've always been the one in charge, the strong one, the one others came to for help, depended on to solve their problems.'

'You can't help me, Cyn.'

'So you keep telling me.' She took a sip of her coffee, then circled the warm mug with both hands. 'But knowing you don't want my help doesn't stop me from wanting to give it to you.'

'For once in your life, let someone else take care of you. Let me make sure you're safe.' He bent over slightly in the chair, dropping his hands between his spread knees. 'I can't allow you to become important to me. It would put you in danger.'

'I don't understand.'

'The less you know, the safer you'll be.'

Cyn jumped up, the contents of her mug splashing onto her silk robe, staining the aqua material with wet tan splotches. She flung the mug, coffee and all, across the room. With a splintering crash, the ceramic cup broke into pieces and the muddy liquid splattered the wall, then spread down onto the floor.

'It's too late to shut me out of your life. Haven't you got sense enough to realize that?' She stood in front of him, her intent gaze fixed on his startled face. 'I'm in love with you. Whether I want to be or not. Do you think I go around sleeping with men I don't love?'

Nate stood up. When he tried to touch her, she shoved against his chest. 'Of course I don't think you—'

'Maybe what we shared didn't mean anything to you. Maybe you can just send me away and go on with your life.' Cyn sucked in the soft inner flesh of her mouth, closing her teeth downward in an effort to keep herself from crying. 'I hate your damned knife collection.' She jabbed her index finger into his chest. 'I despise the fact that you spent twenty years in the SEALs, doing God only knows what.' She jabbed him again. 'You're a man who uses violence to settle his disputes. I've seen you in action. You're a deadly weapon.'

Her words wounded Nate more surely than any knife in his extensive collection could have. Her every accusation was right on target. How could he defend himself to a woman as loving as Cyn? Why should he even try?

He grabbed her by the shoulders so quickly that she didn't have time to evade his capture. She struggled momentarily, then stopped trying to pull away from him.

She met his fierce stare head-on. 'Loving a man like you goes against everything I've ever believed in, and yet I can't change the way I feel. Something inside me tells me that you need me, and yet you keep trying to send me away. I think I have a right to know why.'

Tightening his hold on her shoulders, he pulled her closer, so close her breasts brushed his naked chest. She trembled with desire from the intimate contact. Heat spread through his body. 'I don't need you, Brown Eyes. Not the way you think.'' Hell, he knew he was lying to her, but he couldn't lie to himself. He needed Cyn Porter as surely as he needed air to breathe, but the last thing she needed was him—a man who could bring danger and death into