They suggested that the smell was extremely unpleasant and that it might be prudent to go away. They expanded on this point. They threatened to put Danny in the sea. Finally they ignored him He shrieked at them for a while, but quite soon the sound of the ship’s engine being revved to death was so loud that he was quite inaudible.
“That boat,” Jane said.
“What boat?” Vanderdecker said. “Not now, Sebastian. Take it off.”
Sebastian van Dooming untied the anchor chain from his leg and went back to his post, muttering.
“You were saying,” said Vanderdecker, “about a boat.” The Flying Dutchman had that harassed look again. It suited him by now, rather as a Savile Row three–piece with Jermyn Street socks suits its wearer. It looked right on him, somehow.
“I thought I recognised the man,” said Jane.
“Which man?” asked Vanderdecker.
“The man on the boat,” said Jane.
“Which boat?”
“Oh,” said Jane, “never mind. Where are we going?”
“The long-term itinerary,” said Vanderdecker “we can discuss later. Right now, would the statement “Out to sea” satisfy you?”
“No.”
“Tough,” said Vanderdecker. “You see, the drill is to get as far out of the usual sea-lanes as possible before anyone sees us. Getting out of the usual sea-lanes in the English Channel isn’t easy, what with all the ships. Therefore we tend to postpone the thinking part of it indefinitely.”
“Right.”
Vanderdecker deliberately slowed his brain down and thought for a moment. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Well…” said Jane, lucidly.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he went on, “it’s not that you’re not welcome, far from it. It’s just that we aren’t scheduled to land again until the mid 1990s. If you have anything urgent lined up for the first part of the decade, now is the time to say.”
Jane hadn’t thought of it like that. “You mean you’re just sort of going on?”
Vanderdecker nodded. “It’s what we do best,” he said.
“But what you were telling me,” she said. “Montalban, the nuclear power station, all that. Aren’t you going to follow it up?”
“Maybe it’s not so important after all,” said Vanderdecker. “I expect Montalban can wait another five years; he’s waited long enough, God knows. That’s something you learn when you’re a sea captain, not to rush into things.”
“I think you should follow it up,” Jane said.
“Yes,” said Vanderdecker, “perhaps I should. You sound just like my mother.”
Jane was startled. “Do I?” she said.
“As far as I can remember,” replied the Flying Dutchman, “yes. Why don’t you take that job with the wool merchant? Don’t you think it’s about time you settled down and started making something of your life? You really ought to write to your uncle, Cornelius. I think that’s what made me go to sea in the first place.”
“Oh.” Jane felt deflated. “I’m sorry.”
Vanderdecker smiled sheepishly. “So am I; I didn’t mean to be nasty. It’s just that I’m a trifle flustered, just like usual when I have to sail this blasted ship. You’d think that after all this time it would be second nature, but it isn’t, quite. I reckon that if I had my time over again, I’d be a civil servant, something like that. Quiet. No need to be assertive or display qualities of leadership.”
Jane giggled. “You’d hate it,” she said.
“Would I?” Vanderdecker shrugged. “You seem to know an awful lot about me all of a sudden.”
Jane let that one go, and said, “If you don’t mind, I’ll come along for the ride.”
“It’ll be very boring for you if we don’t go chasing Montalban.”
“Not half so boring,” said Jane firmly, “as being an accountant.”
“That’s a job,” said Vanderdecker, “that I’ve always fancied. It was different in my day, of course. No computers, just little brass counters and exchequer boards. If you got bored with doing the quarterly returns, you could rope in another accountant and play draughts. Should I really follow up the Montalban angle?”
Jane considered. To her surprise, she was not influenced by personal motives in her choice of advice.
“I think you should, really,” she said. “After all, that sea…”
“You’re right,” said Vanderdecker, “of course, there’s just one problem.”
Jane looked at him. “What’s that?” she asked.
“The problem is,” said Vanderdecker, “that I can’t go on land for another five years. Because of the smell. Doesn’t that rather hinder my freedom of movement?”
Jane smiled. “Doesn’t hinder mine, though, does it?”
“True,” said Vanderdecker, “but of questionable relevance. What’s it got to do with you?”
Jane felt exasperated. “Let me spell it out for you,” she said. “Watch my lips.”
“With pleasure.”
Jane ignored that. “I will find Montalban, and pass on a message from you. If you want me to, that is.”
“Would you really?” Vanderdecker said. “That would be a very great help to us. We’d appreciate that.”
“Right,” Jane said.
“And then,” Vanderdecker went on, “we could meet up somewhere later, and you could tell me what he said.”
“Right,” Jane said.
“If you’re absolutely sure.”
“Sure I’m sure,” Jane said. “What’s the message?”
Vanderdecker didn’t reply. Instead he knelt down and picked up a short length of rusty chain.
“This ship is getting very untidy,” he said. “Look at this, junk everywhere. I’m not a naturally finicky person, but after a while it does get to you a bit. The Flying Dutchman I can just about handle. The Flying Dustman, no.”
“What’s the message?” Jane repeated.
“Are you really sure?”
“Really
Vanderdecker hesitated, then smiled broadly. “Right,” he said. “Listen carefully…”
TEN
What I need,” Danny said, “is a helicopter.”
The voice at the other end of the telephone wire told him what, in its opinion, Danny really needed. It was not a helicopter.
“If I had a helicopter,” said Danny, mentally pigeonholing the recommendation, “I could fly over the ship and the lads wouldn’t be exposed to the waste fumes. That way, there’d be no problems from the health and safety at work angle. I take it that’s what you’re worried about.”
“To a certain extent, yes,” said the voice. “Mostly, though, I’m worried about having a producer who’s as crazy as a jay-bird loose in Dorset. I think it’s probably about time you came home and did “Playschool” for a bit, just till you’re feeling better.”
“Look,” Danny hissed, “you remember our deal, right? About a certain cover-up? I don’t want to have to remind you…”
“Funny you should mention that,” said the voice. “I’ve been chatting to a couple of other people over lunch, and I think you’ll find they remember it rather differently. In fact, they seem to think you had quite a lot to do with
