article. Nothing fancy. In fact, it'll be shorter than what you've turned out already. Do you want me to go back to the Margrave and tell him you wouldn't let Imgam here give us the details he asked for?'
I glanced out of the window. On the lawn, the crowd was growing, as more ambitious parents turned up with their offspring. With my keen hearing, I could eavesdrop on their conversation, which amounted to a question as to why the entire athletics program of the local school wasn't going into the archives, winners AND losers, as befit their precious children's activities. And so on. I was beginning to regret my choice of approach. We might have to make a run for it, and soon.
'One more moment, my lord, one more moment. Hmmm, hm hm, hmmm.'
Calypsa gave me a worried look. I signed to her not to worry. I didn't mind signing his waiver. It would have all the legal standing of anything else that was signed with a phony name by an extradimensional being wearing a disguise spell. I invited him to catch me later for breach of contract if he could. I fingered the D-hopper in my pocket.
'Look,' I said, rising from my seat. 'We came as we were instructed to do. We can't get you to tell us what you don't want to. We'll just have to go back to the castle and tell them we failed.'
'Not completely,' Tananda said, with a sweet smile, appearing at my side. She tipped me a small wink. 'We won't have our story, but we will have an interesting tale to tell the Margrave. He will be most interested to hear about your lack of cooperation. We should go, Master Wordsmith.'
'But how can you go until you hear my story?' the boy said, springing to his feet indignantly.
'How can you leave until you sign the contract?' Feothor asked.
'How can we go without the Cup?' Calypsa demanded, gawking at me.
The others all gawked at me, too. The Walt language isn't very much like Klahd, but they have some sounds in common, Unfortunately, 'cup' was one of them.
'Cup? What cup?' Feothor asked.
'Nothing,' I said, grabbing the Walt by the arm and hauling her toward the door. Tananda was right behind me. 'Miss Ermintrude just wants a cup of tea. That's all. We can't wait around for it. We'll have to get refreshments back at the Margravery. Thanks for your time. Too bad it didn't work out.'
Imgam was much smarter than the average Klahd.
'Cup?' he exclaimed. He jumped up and ran out of the room. 'It's gone! My trophy is gone!' He pointed a finger at Tananda. 'She stole it!'
'Nonsense, kid,' I said, yanking open the door. 'You must have left it somewhere. Nice to meet you folks. Goodbye.'
I attempted to step outside.
Unfortunately, when I opened the door, a do2en people fell in on top of me. The neighbors, who had been gathering in force, started protesting even before they managed to get back to their feet.
'My son is the best archer in town!'
'My daughter collects spiders! All kinds! You should write about her!'
'I need to talk to you about my twins.' A crude hand drawing of two moppets with golden pigtails was shoved in my face. 'Aren't they gorgeous?'
'Stop them!' Skiver yelled. 'They're thieves!'
Looks of shock, disbelief, and outrage—in that order— came over the faces of the townsfolk. I started tossing Klahds over my shoulder in an attempt to get outside, to a place where I could employ the D-hopper, but there were just too many of them. A dozen or so stood or lay on each of my limbs to hold me down.
'Pay close attention, thief,' a red-haired townsman said, glaring down at me as an equally roseate-polled younger male
went to work with a long strand of rope around my hands and feet. 'My son won awards for knot tying.'
I groaned and let my head fall back. I knew I should have stuck to my guns and kept out of this scavenger hunt.
THE MARGRAVE WAS typical of embedded public officials, in my experience. He wore an air of menace that went poorly with his unimpressive physique. Fiftyish, plump, black hair slicked back over an egg-shaped skull, he was shorter than an average Klahd. I could look him square in the eye as he went up and down the line, glaring at the three of us.
'This is an outrage,' I said, jangling the manacles on my wrists so the rusty yard of chain rang..
I was keeping up an air of official grief to throw him off balance. The gyves were attached to irons around my ankles by links of sturdy chain with links as thick as my thumb. My leg irons were connected to Tanda's on my left and Calypsa's on my right. We had been hauled up by rings around our necks so I was perching on tiptoes. The whole contraption was fastened high on the stone wall behind us with a staple that could have held the entire text of the Tax Code. I was grateful that Tananda's disguise spell had held, or we'd probably have wound up tied neck to heels, if not worse. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, especially after we had been kicked and beaten by the crowd and dragged along the cobblestoned streets the entire four miles to the castle behind a pair of yoked pigs. My clothes were smeared with droppings, along with everything else that Merngeans threw out into the streets and hadn't washed away since the last rain. I could hardly stand my own smell. To add to the ambience, rats and bugs, most of them sizeable, were starting to crawl out of the walls, attracted by the scent of strangers.
'Release us. You have no idea whom you're dealing with.' I use 'whom' when I'm really torqued.
'You are charged,' he boomed, in an impressive-sounding voice, 'of impersonating officials of the crown, theft, wasting time by deception, fraud, corruption of the young...'
'Of
The Margrave leveled a beady black eye on me. 'The boy whom you tempted into surrendering his personal reminiscences.'
'We didn't get a thing out of him, if you ask your eyewitnesses.'
'You admit it!'
He spun on his heel and walked to the table where all the contents of our pockets, shoulder bags, boot tops, as well as the various unmentionable places where Tanda tended to conceal things. (Even though the muscular guardswoman had been pretty thorough in her search I was certain that there were still more weapons and tools hidden about Tanda's sumptuous person. She had been doing this a lot of years.)
'What is this?' the Margrave demanded, waving the D-hopper at me. I cringed inwardly, hoping he wouldn't drop it. The technology to build them had been long lost, and though sturdy enough to withstand dimensional travel, they got goofed up when they hit stone floors. I didn't want to lose it.
'Massage stick,' I said. 'Good for easing those tight muscles.'
I leered, letting him think worse thoughts. He blanched and put it down hastily. I grinned. He had a dirty mind.
'Why do you have this?' He held up Kelsa.
The crystal ball was empty, the beturbaned head nowhere in sight. We had instructed her over and over again not to talk to anyone but us. I was glad she had paid attention, because all we needed was her unfocused chatter to make matters worse.
'It's a family heirloom,' I said. 'I travel everywhere with it.'
'Are you a witch?'
'Do I look like a witch?' I countered.
The Margrave sneered. 'You look like a charlatan. Something is wrong with you. My soldiers say that your flesh feels coarser than it appears.'
'Skin condition,' I shrugged. 'Had it since I was born. Are you going to prosecute me for that?'
'I intend to prosecute you for something,' the Margrave said, lowering his eyebrows. I'm sure he'd made strong men cringe with that expression, but I'd had meaner teachers in Pervish primary school.
