Myth-Gotten Gains

smoothest thief ever to remove me in...oh, six centuries!'

'Thanks,' Tananda said. 'Look, do you know why I took you?'

The eyes blinked. 'Why, of course I do, dear. You want to reunite the Golden Hoard!'

'Can you tell us why you think it might be a bad idea?'

'It depends, dear. What do you consider a bad idea?' Kelsa asked. 'Explosions? War? Fire? Cannibalism?'

Tananda blinked a couple of times. 'Yes, those would qualify in my book as bad ideas.'

'Of course you do! I can tell just by looking into your soul.' Kelsa nodded knowingly.

'Tell us why it's going to happen, then.'

'Well, because it is! I told you all before.'

'No, it is not, Kelsa,' Ersatz said. 'Have you no memory? Don't you recall the last time we were all together? What a terrible time that was?'

The large eyes clouded for a moment, then looked alarmed. 'It wasn't that bad, dear. Not really.'

'Indeed it was, Kelsa,' the sword insisted. 'I will not cooperate with this. Neither will my friend Aahz.'

'Wait!' Calypsa pleaded, leaning toward me. 'Is there nothing that you would take to let me have this sword and complete my quest, Aahz? Do you have no heart's desire that I can fulfill?'

'Nothing.' I crossed my arms firmly. 'One hundred gold pieces, and I'm out of here. That's all I want.'

'Oh, that's easy,' Kelsa said, interrupting my protest. Her eyes had gone all unfocused again. 'He wants his magikal powers restored.'

'No!' I bellowed. 'Not a single thing! Not a...what?'

'His powers are gone,' Kelsa went on telling Calypsa, as if I hadn't spoken. 'He's been without them a while now, though he's done well enough by his cunning. Don't discount his brains, dear, in spite of his looks. A foolish trick by a trusted friend, now dead. A joke, but with serious consequences.'

'Can it be undone?' Calypsa asked.

'Oh, of course!' Kelsa said. 'Why...'

I leaned forward, interested in spite of myself.

'No!' Ersatz exclaimed. 'We seek only to locate Chin-Hwag. She can help me to pay my debt. Then we will go. Can you tell me where to find her?'

'Now, wait a moment,' I said, holding up a hand to forestall him. 'It couldn't hurt to ask the lady. What would it take to get my powers back?'

'Well,' Kelsa said, turning her Pervect-face to me. 'It might be that the Cup can help. Or perhaps the Ring. The

Book would have all that information at his fingertips, so to speak, since all he has is pages. He's full of useful spells. He is, after all, the Ultimate Grimoire.'

'Really?' I asked. The possibility of having my powers restored again had never occurred to me. I had been so relieved to be able to wander the dimensions freely with the help of the D-hopper that my imagination hadn't taken me any further—not yet, anyhow. That imagination was operating at full throttle now. I could be a full magician again? Never again to be taken advantage of by some two-bit huckster who had picked up half a spell from the back of a box of Witch Crunchies cereal? Not to set off magikal boobytraps because I couldn't feel the force lines leading into it from sky or earth? 'How do I find them? What do I need to do to get my powers back?'

I ignored the cat-ate-canary grin on Tanda's face as she sat back in the chair and swung her boots up on the table top. I was just gathering facts, that was all.

Kelsa squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated. 'Hmm. The possibilities are most intriguing. Plenty of scope. You need scope.'

'Keep the personal remarks to yourself,' I growled. 'Just read me the small print, willya?'

'Just a moment, Aahz,' Ersatz said, the sharp eyes showing panic. 'You cannot agree with their insane plan? It will be a disaster.'

'Just considering it,' I said, casually. 'It doesn't do any harm to hear what she's got to say, does it?'

'No...I...of course it does! Harden your resolve, friend!'

My resolve was already working on a list of people who had interfered with my life over the past few years while I had been powerless. It was compiling a compendium of ways both subtle and nasty for getting even with them, all the while keeping the connection with me out of the picture. I had no wish to spend a single moment involved with any correctional institution, when I was only righting the balance of justice in my favor. Let's see, there was the Geek, and...

'Aahz!'

'What?' I snarled, coming out of a blissful daydream of the whole Merchants Association of the Bazaar offering me a percentage of their profits to avoid having me make information about their business dealings public—-all legal and above-board, though underhanded. I liked the mental picture of all of them, hands trembling, handing over bags of gold so big they needed wheels to move. It'd take a while, though to get together enough dirt to make all the Association cave at once, but as soon as I had my magik back...

Ersatz's keen eyes fixed upon mine. 'Aahz, listen to me. I have told you of the danger. I, who have fought in hundreds of thousands of battles, have no fear of ordinary war, but I tell you that what these women propose is dangerous beyond recall!'

'Uh-huh,' I said, absently. 'So, Kelsa, baby, what have you got?'

'Well, Aahz—I can call you Aahz, can't I?' She blinked at me coyly.

'If you get on with it!'

'The path to regaining your powers is fraught with peril. No sure way exists to restoration without redemption. Friendship stands beside you but also in your way. Do not destroy that which is, to gain that which may not yet be.'

I wasn't starting to lose patience with her circumlocutions, I was in the next county already. 'Get to the point!'

She tilted her head quizzically. 'But, that is the point, dear Aahz. All of this is important.'

'I'm listening. Which one of the Hoard can restore my powers?'

'Well, I am not yet sure,' Kelsa said. 'This is what I see at the moment. Look deep!'

I leaned forward and gazed into the crystal ball. The face under the turban vanished. In its place was a dimly lit room with stone walls. No clue there' I'd been in houses, castles, museums and dungeons with the same decor. I saw

myself standing on a dais. My image raised a huge golden cup to its lips and drank. As the reflection of me lowered the cup, I saw a huge grin on my face. I knew I echoed the expression as I sat back in the wooden chair. 'All right, I'm on board.'

'Thank you, Mr. Aahz!' Calypsa leaped forward and wrapped her feathery arms around me. For such a lightweight, she had a good grip.

'But I am not!' Ersatz said. 'If you try to involve me in this, Aahz, then know me for your mortal enemy! Our deal is off. I shall not persuade the Purse to reimburse you for my rescue.'

'Oh, yes, you will,' I said. 'You still owe me the cash.'

'Oh, no, I won't.' His eyebrows telegraphed danger. 'You cannot make me.'

'Oh, yes, you will.'

'Oh, no, I won't.'

I draped the silencing cloth over the blade and let him continue his protests in silence. Tananda protested.

'Aahz!'

I shrugged. 'What's he going to do? Walk out of here?'

'Oh, but I don't want him to be angry!' Calypsa dropped gracefully to her knees beside the sword and plucked the cloth away. She gazed into the steely orbs glaring out of the blade. 'Please, Ersatz, won't you reconsider? I need your help. My grandfather is the mainstay of our family. He is in terrible danger, and only the full Hoard will be able to ransom him free. I know from Kelsa that you are the head of the order. You can persuade the others to cooperate. Please. I need your help.'

Her big brown eyes had tears in them. I cleared my throat of a sudden hoarseness. I could tell Ersatz was