I opened my purse to get out the keys when I realized I hadn’t brought them. Rush had taken me to work. I hadn’t thought I needed them. Looking back up at the dark house I was almost relieved I wouldn’t have to be staying there alone tonight.
The club was only three miles from here. I could walk that. Then Bethy’s was just a short walk from the club. The evening breeze had cooled things down and it wasn’t so bad. I slipped my purse back over my shoulder and started walking down the brick paved driveway toward the road.
It took about an hour and fifteen minutes to get to Bethy’s. Her car wasn’t in the parking lot. There was a good chance she was staying with Jace tonight. I guess I should have thought about that. I stopped and looked at the door to the condo. I didn’t have the energy to walk back. My stubbornness not to call for a ride was biting me in the butt.
I bent down and lifted the mat. There on the cement slab was the spare key. She must have put it back out after I moved. She’d only stopped hiding it there because I had asked her to. Tonight it came in extremely handy. I doubted she was coming home until tomorrow anyway. I didn’t have to tell her about all this tonight.
I carried the key inside with me and then headed back to my bathroom to take a shower. Rush had insisted she keep the bed he’d bought in the second bedroom instead of taking it when I moved out. Something else I could be thankful for tonight.
I managed to get to work without Bethy ever knowing I’d needed to crash at her place last night. It wasn’t that I thought she’d care but I wasn’t ready to answer her questions or hear her opinions.
After changing into a clean uniform from the supply room I made my way to the kitchen. Just before I reached the door Woods stepped out and leveled his gaze on me.
“I was looking for you,” he said and nodded his head toward the hallway that led to his office. “We need to talk.”
He more than likely knew about Nan. I was sure everyone in their circle did by now. Was he going to ask me about her? I really hoped he wasn’t. Admitting that I knew nothing made me sound like I didn’t care. Did Rush think I didn’t care? Was it my responsibility to call him? He was the one hurting. His reaction last night had scared me but if he needed me I had to get over that.
“Did you sleep at all?” Woods asked looking back at me.
I nodded. I hadn’t really slept well but I had gotten some sleep. The three-mile walk had helped exhaust me to the point that I couldn’t keep my eyes open once I lay down.
Woods opened his door and held it so I could go inside. I went in and walked over to stand beside the chairs across from his desk. He stood in front of his desk and sat on the edge of it while crossing his arms over his chest.
A frown wrinkled his forehead as he studied me. I was beginning to wonder if this was about something else. I’d thought it was about Nan but maybe it wasn’t. Had I done something wrong?
“I got a call from Grant this morning. He’s at the hospital and he’s worried about you. He said Rush showed up in the middle of the night and was in a rage. Seeing as how for the first time in their life Nan and Rush aren’t on speaking terms and now she is in this condition, Rush isn’t taking it well. Grant was concerned as to how he left you and if you were okay.”
My heart hurt. I hated to know Rush was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do. He wasn’t calling me and that only led me to believe he didn’t want to talk to me. I was the reason for his rift with Nan. I was the reason he hadn’t spoken to her in weeks. I was the reason he was going through this. Tears stung my eyes. As much as I didn’t want to admit this, I was the reason this was even harder on Rush. If I hadn’t caused their fight then he wouldn’t be living with the guilt I knew he was swimming in right now.
This was why Rush and I would never work. Pretending the fairy tale was real had been amazing. But it hadn’t been real. We’d been biding our time until the fact I didn’t fit into his world sent it crumbling down. He needed his family right now. I wasn’t his family. I wasn’t even accepted by his family. How did I fit into this?
“I… I don’t know what to do.” I choked out, hating that Woods was going to see me cry. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I didn’t want anyone to.
“He loves you,” Woods said gently. I wasn’t even sure he believed those words. Not now. Maybe Rush had thought he loved me but how could he still love me? I’d caused him to turn on Nan and now he might lose her.
“Does he?” It was a question I needed to ask myself, not Woods.
“Yes. I’ve never seen him with anyone the way he is with you. Right now… the next few days or weeks however long this lasts it may not feel like it. But he does. I’m not telling you this because of Rush. He’s an ass and I owe him nothing. I’m telling you this for you. It’s the truth and I know you need to hear it right now.”
I shook my head. I didn’t need to hear it. Thinking clearly and deciding what was best for me and my baby was what I needed to do. Could I bring a child into a family that might never accept it? If I never fit then how would my child?
“I can’t tell you what to believe. But if you need anything, I’m here. I know Rush has a garage full of cars but if you don’t want to drive one then I can give you a ride to the doctor or the store. Just call me if you need me.”
My next doctor’s appointment was in five days. How was I going to get into the house? And he’d never shown me where the keys to his cars were or given me permission to drive them.
“I’m locked out of the house. He thought I had my key when he left,” I told him.
“Where did you stay last night?” he asked dropping his hands from his chest and standing up. He looked angry. I hadn’t meant to make him mad. I was just stating a problem I had. All my clothes were in Rush’s house.
“Bethy’s.”
“How did you get there?”
“I walked.”
“Shit! Blaire, that is three and a half miles at least. It was dark last night when Rush left. You have a phone now, use it.” He was yelling.
“I wanted to walk. I needed to walk. Don’t yell at me,” I raised my voice and glared at him.
