“Just call or e-mail me, and we’ll talk about it.”
“I will, and you have a safe flight, okay?”
“I will, and you take care.”
JT ended the call, laid his phone on his desk, and looked at the picture-perfect five-by-seven wedding photo of him and Alicia. He wasn’t sure why she simply wasn’t enough. He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t resist being with other women. He honestly didn’t want to hurt Alicia, but he also couldn’t control his sexual desires or impulsive feelings. He couldn’t help doing a lot of the terrible things he did, and he wished there was something he could do to modify his way of thinking. He wished he could be a better man and stop lusting over this woman he’d just hung up with. But he knew that was never going to happen. He knew JT was going to be JT and that there wasn’t a thing he could do to change that.
Chapter 18
Thank you so much for treating me to lunch,” Carmen said to Alicia, and then leaned against her little red Nissan. The two of them were standing in the parking lot of a popular Asian restaurant located a few blocks down from the office where Carmen worked, and Alicia was glad they’d had a chance to get together.
“You’re welcome, and I’m really glad we could do this.”
“And thank you, too, for bringing me the manuscript,” she said, holding the brown envelope close to her body. “I’m so excited, and I can’t wait to read it.”
“Well, I just hope you like it.”
“I know I will, and I’ll be calling you as soon as I finish it. I also can’t wait for the actual book to be released, because then I’ll be able to tell everyone that I’m close friends with a published author.”
“You’re funny,” Alicia said, smiling.
“I’m serious. I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished.”
Alicia leaned against the side of Carmen’s vehicle but closer to the front of it. “Well, I’m just happy you made the decision to look me up online and then e-mail me, because if you hadn’t, we might not have ever connected with each other again.”
“I know, and now I’m sorry I didn’t try to contact you before now. Although, you know what they say, better late than never.”
“This is true.”
Carmen looked at Alicia for a few seconds and then said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. What is it?”
“Did you ever in your wildest dreams think that your father would eventually be known all over the world and that you would ultimately marry a man like JT? A man who’s clearly on his way to being just as famous himself?”
“No, not really. I mean, I knew my father was very successful, but I don’t think I ever guessed he would do all the amazing things he’s been able to do.”
“Girl, you are so blessed. You have everything you could ever want, and most of us will never get to know how that feels.”
“I am blessed and very thankful for the life that I have.”
“You’re beyond blessed. And didn’t you say you only met JT because your dad spoke at NLCC one Sunday?”
“Yeah, and normally, I don’t even go with my dad and Charlotte when they visit other churches. But this time I’m glad I did.”
“I’ll say. And then there’s that huge rock you have on your finger,” Carmen said, reaching over and lifting Alicia’s hand. “I mean, my goodness, it must have cost a fortune.”
“JT is definitely very good to me.”
“Girl, he’s better than good, and I just pray that I’ll eventually find a man just like him.”
“You will.”
“I don’t know. I keep thinking that all I have to do is be patient, but what I want more than anything is to find someone and get married. Sooner rather than later. What I want is to love someone, have them love me back, and then live happily ever after just like in the fairy tales.”
Alicia set her take-home container on the car hood. “Have you been praying about it?”
“Every day.”
“Then all you have to do is trust and believe and keep praying for the kind of husband and life you want just like I did. God always gives us the desires of our heart, and you have to keep your faith in that. My first marriage turned out terribly, but now I couldn’t be happier.”
“Maybe I just need to pray a little harder and a little more often.”
“It certainly won’t hurt, because you can never talk to God too much. My dad is always saying that the more time you spend with Him the better off you’ll be, and I think he’s right.”
“I’m sure he is,” Carmen said, turning the top of her wrist upward and looking at her watch. “Well, girl, I’d better get going. I hadn’t told you, but the other reason I took this afternoon off was because I have a hot date.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yep.”
“And when do I get to meet this hot date of yours?”
“Maybe at some point.”
“Okay, well, do your thing, girl,” Alicia said, hugging her. “Have a great time.”
“I definitely will. That you can count on.”
JT had just finished showering and now stood in front of the gold-trimmed, full-length, oval mirror in Carmen’s room, putting his clothes back on. She was sitting on the side of her bed watching him.
“I’m so glad you came by, baby,” she said, but all JT could think was how, for the first time since he’d met her, sex with Carmen had been average at best. He hadn’t even wanted to do it at all, and the only reason he had was because he hadn’t wanted to hear any of her whining.
So he pretended as though he couldn’t have felt better. “I’m glad I came over, too.”
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” JT said, zipping his pants.
“You’re everything to me, baby, and no man could ever take your place. You hear me?”
“I’m glad you feel that way.”
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I can’t wait until you leave Alicia. I can’t wait until you and I are married.”
“I know, baby, I’m looking forward to that day as well,” he lied. “But you know you’re going to have to have a little patience.”
“I do, but I’m still so, so excited about the life we’re going to have together. I’m going to make you so happy. I’ll be the best wife in the world. I’ll do any and every thing you want me to without any questions.”
JT put on his shirt in silence. He wasn’t even sure how to respond to such a dimwitted statement, so he let her continue talking.
“So, when are you coming back to see me?”
“Sometime next week?”
“I know, but when exactly?”
“Maybe Thursday evening or Saturday morning.”
“That’s too long, baby. So, what about Monday afternoon, the way you always used to?”
“This coming Monday is Memorial Day, and I won’t be able to get away,” he said, glancing at her in the mirror and seeing the angry look on her face. She’d turned on him faster than he could blink.
“I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of spending every holiday all by myself.”
“I’m sorry, but Alicia and I are going over to her mom’s, and there’s nothing I can do to change that,” he said, and then saw what looked to be Alicia’s manuscript sitting on Carmen’s dresser. “What’s this?”
She responded in a curt tone. “What’s what?”
“This,” he said, picking up the first few pages and turning toward her.
“What do you think it is?”
“It looks like Alicia’s novel, so I guess I’m sort of wondering where you got it from.”
“I got it from the little wifey herself when she took me out to lunch today. Happy?”
“But why would you go anywhere with her when I’ve asked you not to visit her anymore or spend time with her, period?”
“Alicia’s my friend,” she said. “She’s my very dear friend. We’re such good friends that I could make her believe just about anything at all if I wanted. I could tell her all sorts of stories. The kind that would leave her devastated.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“No, the question is, why shouldn’t I? I mean, why shouldn’t I do whatever I want, because it’s not like you’re breaking your neck to see me on a regular basis, anyway.”
JT saw how upset she was and knew it was time for damage control.
He sat down on the bed next to her and placed his arm around her. “Maybe I don’t get to see you every day, but, baby, what matters is that I’m with you right now. And I promise you I’ll try to be with you a lot more than I have been.”
“But I need more than that. What I need is to know that you’re serious about me and that you really do still love me.”
“I do.”
“But, JT, how do I know you’re telling me the truth?”
