'I thought what I was doing was afterplay,' he whispered a little hoarsely. He made a show of wiping his forehead. 'You should warn me when I cross over the line, and start promising what I can't deliver.' He took her hand and kissed its palm and the inside of her wrist.
Gillian ran her fingers along his cheek, to touch, feather light, his jaw, throat and shoulder. She took sparse clumps of chest hair and pulled playfully.
She purred — not like a housecat, but with the feral rumble of a leopardess. 'Whenever you're ready, love. I can wait. You may be the illegitimate son of a fecund test-tube, but I know you better than your planners ever did. You have resources they never imagined.'
Tom was about to say that, planners or no planners, he was the quite legitimate son of May and Bruce Orley of Minnesota State, Confederacy of Earth… but then he noticed the slight liquid welling in her eyes. Her words were rough, light and teasing, but her grip on his chest hair only tightened as she looked up at his face, eyes roaming, as if she were memorizing every feature.
Tom felt suddenly confused. He wanted to be close to Gillian on their last night together. How could they be any closer than they were right now? His body pressed against hers, and her warm breath filled his nostrils. He looked away, feeling somehow he was letting her down.
Then he felt it, a tender stroking that seemed to strive against a locked and heavy feeling inside his own head. It was a soft pressure that would not go away. He realized that the thing fighting it was himself.
I'm leaving tomorrow, he thought.
They had argued over who would be the one to go, and he had won. But it was bitter to have to go.
He closed his eyes. I've cut her off from me! I may never come back, and I've cut myself off from the deepest part of me.
Suddenly Tom felt very strange and small, as if he were stranded in a dangerous place, the sole barrier between his loved ones and terrible foes, not a superhero but only a man, outnumbered and about to gamble all he had. As if he were himself.
He opened his eyes as he felt a touch on his face.
He pressed his cheek against her hand. There were still tears in her eyes, but also the beginnings of a smile.
'Silly boy,' she said. 'You can never leave me. Haven't you realized that by now? I'll be with you, and you'll come back to me.'
He shook his head in wonder.
'Jill, I…' He started to speak, but his mouth was stopped as she pulled him down to kiss him hungrily. Her lips were hot and tender upon his, crosswise. The fingers of her right hand did inciteful things.
Still and all, it was the heady, sweet smell of her that made him realize that she had been right about him, once again.
PART THREE
Dissonance
'Animals are molded by natural forces
they do not comprehend.
To their minds there is no past and no future.
There is only the everlasting
present of a single generation,
its trails in the forest,
its hidden pathways in the air
and in the sea.
'There is nothing in the Universe more
alone than Man.
He has entered into the strange world of history…
28 ::: Sah'ot
All night he had followed them. Toward morning, Sah'ot felt he was beginning to understand.
With the dawn, the Kiqui left their nocturnal hunting grounds and swam toward the safety of their island. They stowed their woven nets and traps in hidden coral clefts, took their crude spears, and hurried from the growing light. With daytime the killer vines would become active, and other dangers as well. By day the Kiqui could forage in the forests atop the metal islands, seeking nuts and small animals in the thick foliage.
Underwater, the Kiqui looked like green puffer fish with short, web-handed arms and flippered legs. A pair of almost prehensile ventral fins helped them maneuver. Their strong, kicking legs left their hands free to carry burdens. Around each head a fin-like crest of wafer-thin flagellae waved, collecting dissolved oxygen to supplement each Kiqui's distended air-sac.
The hunter-gatherers pulled two nets full of bright, crablike sea creatures, like multi-colored metal sculptures in the mesh. The Kiqui sang a song of flutters and squawks and yelps.
Sah'ot listened as they squeaked to one another, their tiny vocabulary hardly more than a series of vocalized signals coordinating their movements. Each time a few Kiqui rose to the surface for air, the act was accompanied by a chain of complex twitters.
The natives took little notice of the alien creatures that followed them. Sah'ot kept his distance, careful not to interfere. They knew he was here, of course. Now and then the younger Kiqui would cast suspicious sonar squirts his way. Strangely, the older hunters seemed to accept him completely.
Sah'ot looked up at the growing light with relief. In spite of the darkness, he had kept his own sonar down to a minimum all night to keep from intimidating the natives. He had felt almost blind, and a little panicky when he almost blundered into something… or 'something' almost blundered into him.
Still, it had been worthwhile.
He felt he had a pretty good grasp of their language now. The signal structure, like Primal Dolphin, was based on a hierarchical herd and the tempo of the breathing cycle. Its cause-and-effect logic was a bit more complicated than Primal, no doubt due to hands and tool use.
[scanners note: the following 7 lines will only look right using a mono-spaced font like Courier. There are 2 columns of text.]
:?: Look, we well hunt hunt
— hunted -well
:?: Careful, Careful,
Opportunistic
:?: Eat, EAT well, will eat-
— not eaten No!
:?: Die above water, not in…
Based on semantic ability alone, these creatures seemed less ripe for uplift than fallow Earth-dolphins had been. Others, biased toward tool-using ability, might disagree.
Of course, the fact that they had hands probably meant the Kiqui would never be particularly good poets. Still, some of their current braggadocio had a certain charm.
The straps of Sah'ot's harness chafed as he rose for breath. In spite of its lightweight, streamlined design, he wished he could get rid of the damned thing.
Of course, these waters were dangerous, and he might need its protection. Also, Keepiru was out there somewhere, staying out of the way as requested, but listening, nonetheless. Keepiru would chew Sah'ot s dorsal fin down to the backbone if he caught him without his harness.
Unlike the ultra-technical fen of Streaker's crew, Sah'ot was uncomfortable with devices. He didn't mind computers, some of which could talk, and which helped him speak to other races. But implements for the moving, shaping, or killing of objects, these were unnatural things which he wished he could do without.
He hated the two nubby little 'fin-gers' at the tips of each of his pectoral fins — which they said would someday lead to full hands for his species. They were unaesthetic. He also resented the changes made to the dolphin lungs, making them more resistant to land-based diseases, and adapting parts to breathing oxywater. Natural cetaceans needed no such mutations. Fallow Stenos bredanensis and Tursiops truncatus dolphins, left untouched by the gene-crafters, could out swim any of the 'amicus' breed almost any time.
He was ambivalent to the expanded visual sense, bought at the cost of gray matter once dedicated to sound alone.
Sah'ot rose again to breathe, then submerged, keeping pace with the aboriginals.
His own line represented a drive to emphasize language ability, rather than tool use. It seemed to him a more natural extension of dolphin nature than all this crashing about in starships, pretending to be spacemen and engineers.
That was one reason he had refused to go along in the spaceboat, to help scout the derelict fleet back at the Shallow Cluster. Even had there been anything or anyone left to talk to — for which there'd been no evidence — he wasn't about to poke around supported only by a gang of inept clients! For Streaker to try to deal alone with the derelict fleet was like a group of children playing with a live bomb.
His actions had won contempt from the crew, even though he had been vindicated by the disastrous loss of the captain's gig.
Their contempt didn't matter. Sah'ot reminded himself. He was a civilian. As long as he did his job he didn't have to explain himself.
