The Hidden

My special name made my heart trip, and I went over to him. Even after all this time, my first instinct when I saw him was to try to put my arms around him. “Hi,” I said back shyly.

He gazed up at me. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks.” My cheeks were on fire.

“Tonight’s the big night, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you be careful?”

“I will. Cacey said she and Uri will be there, so don’t worry about Vincent. Besides, I don’t think he’d try anything. Too public. He seems to prefer alone time when he’s terrorizing me.”

He stood up and moved close. “Be careful about Ben, too.” His tone was half joking, but the serious half was still there. “I know I was the one who pushed you into this, but you’re still my girl.”

I stood there for a while, just looking up at him, trying to convey what I was feeling without words. Eventually he cleared his throat and took a step away. “I don’t want to interrupt you. You should probably be getting ready.”

“Okay,” I said, mourning the loss of his closeness.

“Do you mind if I stay up here?” he asked softly, not meeting my eyes. “I don’t think I can see you. All … dressed up and stuff. For him.”

“No, no, that’s fine. I don’t want it to be awkward. In fact, I’m going to get dressed downstairs. More … room down there. Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

He nodded. “Of course. I like Ben. He’s a nice guy.”

I went over to the closet and put the white Victorian dress behind the red dress in its garment bag. I wanted to surprise Caspian with it, and this way I could put it on downstairs when I got home. A tight ball of nerves sprung up in my stomach. Tonight, at midnight, will officially be November first. Caspian’s death day.

I was ready, and yet so not ready. What if he didn’t like the white dress? What if he thought it was too old fashioned, or hated the way it looked on me? What if …

No more what-ifs. One thing at a time. Hollow Ball now. Caspian tonight. Just get through the Hollow Ball with Ben first.

Hanging the dress over my arm, I nudged the closet door open and grabbed some black strappy shoes. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back, then?” I said to Caspian as I made my way out.

He nodded.

“Mom and Dad are leaving for the weekend tonight. They’ll be gone until Monday afternoon, so …” My throat felt tight, and I didn’t want to start crying and ruin all of Lucinda’s hard work. “I wish I was going with you,” I said softly. “I’ll miss you.”

Caspian nodded again, and with a final glance behind me, I walked out the door. Leaving my dead boyfriend behind so that I could go to the dance with someone else. All because he wanted me to.

Mom was beside herself with excitement when I went downstairs to get dressed, and kept checking on me every five seconds. After the fourth interruption I told her, “Just stop. Chill. If I need anything, I’ll call for you.”

But she had the camera ready when I finally came out of the bathroom, and immediately started snapping pictures.

“Mom, I’m not even completely dressed yet,” I said. “I need to put my shoes on.”

“I know, but-snap- this is such an exciting moment and I- snap-want to make sure I have pictures of everything.” Snap.

Ignoring her, I went to the couch and sat down to put my shoes on. But my dress was too tight to bend in, and I kept contorting myself at awkward angles. “Hey, Mom, I think I need some help now.”

She came right over. “I’m here. I’ll take care of it.”

I slid my foot into the shoe, using the edge of the couch for balance, and Mom buckled it. Then she did the other one.

Dad came into the living room as soon as she was done, and whistled. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Mom grabbed him and pulled him beside me to take some pictures as I glanced at the clock.

I still had fifteen more minutes of this until Ben would be here.

“All right, Mom,” I said through gritted teeth. “Let’s take some pictures.”

She posed me and Dad by the fireplace, by the window, in front of the fridge. Then she wanted some pictures of herself with me. We stood in front of the bathroom mirror, by a vase of flowers, in front of the steps …

I was never so happy to hear a car beep outside. Ben was early. By a whole minute.

“Oooh, good. He’s here! Now I can get some pictures of the two of you!” Mom squealed.

I glanced at Dad. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “We’re leaving by seven fifty, so there won’t be too much more of this.”

“Yeah, thanks, Dad,” I said. “It’s already been too much of this.”

Mom ran to open the door when Ben knocked on it, and he stood there with a bashful look on his face. A dozen white roses were in his hands.

“Come in!” Mom said. “Don’t you look handsome?”

Ben was in a charcoal gray suit with a red tie, and I had to admit, he did look pretty good. It was definitely a “sexay” suit.

He stepped into the house. “Since you said no corsage, Abbey, I got you these.”

He held the flowers out to me, and I took them.

“If I may?” he asked, pulling one of the roses free. I nodded, and he turned and handed it to Mom. “This is for you.”

“Oh, well … I just … I …” Mom was ten shades of red, but she looked ecstatic.

“Awww, aren’t you just adorable?” I said to Ben.

He grinned.

“Let me get some pictures!” Mom said, taking the roses from me. “I’ll just put these in the kitchen.” Before I could hustle Ben out the door, she was back. “Okay. Let’s get some over here.”

She directed us to stand in front of the fireplace, and the stairs. Ben had no problem just smiling through all of it. We took pictures outside, in front of the house, by the limo, walking up the steps … until finally I told Mom that we needed to go pick up Beth and her date.

Mom started to get all teary, and that was when the hugging began. “Have fun,” she said. “Be good. Be safe and all that.”

She clung to me, and I patted her back. “Yeah, okay, Mom.”

“Your father and I are leaving tonight and we’ll be back Monday,” she said. “I’ve left some extra money on the dining room table. Don’t forget to take it with you. Are you staying with Beth or Cacey?”

“I’m staying at Beth’s.”

I made a mental note to tell Beth about our “sleepover” this weekend so that if Mom called she’d know what to say.

“Everything will be fine, Mom. You guys have fun too, okay? I love you,” I whispered to her.

Ben offered me his arm. “Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Browning,” he said. “I’ll take good care of her.”

“I bet you will,” I said, and snorted. But he just grinned at me again.

Stepping carefully, I walked down the front path to the waiting Hummer limo as Mom and Dad waved good- bye. Just as the car door was closing, I looked up. We were directly in line with my room, and I could see Caspian looking out the window.

Something wet ran down my cheek, and I brushed it away. Looking down at my fingertip, I saw it was a tear.

Hastily dabbing at the corners of my eyes, I told myself to stop. I’d be back in a couple of hours and everything would be fine. I’d get to see Caspian then.

But my heart still hurt when we drove away.

* * *

When we pulled up to Beth’s, she was outside, laughing and posing for pictures with Grant. “I guess she