“Hey, Xavier.” The taller of the two greeted him with a respectful nod. “The swim meet was awesome. I won four out of six heats.”
“Good job, Parker,” Xavier said, slipping easily into his role as school captain and mentor. “I knew we were going to kick Westwood’s butt.”
The boy beamed with pride.
“Reckon I’ll make the nationals?” he asked eagerly.
“I wouldn’t be surprised — Coach was pretty pleased. Just make sure you show up to training next week.”
“You got it, man,” the boy said. “See you Wednesday!”
Xavier nodded and they knocked their fists together. “See you, kiddo.”
I saw right away that Xavier was good at dealing with people; he was affable without inviting familiarity. When the boy had gone, his expression changed back to one of concentration, as if what I had to say really mattered. It made my skin prickle and the corners of my lips twist into a smile. I could feel a blush starting in my chest, and soon it traveled to spread across my face.
“How do you do that?” I asked to cover my confusion.
“Do what?”
“Talk to people so easily.”
Xavier shrugged. “It comes with the territory. Hey, I almost forgot, I dragged you over here to return something.” He pulled a long, white, iridescent feather, flecked with rose, from the pocket of his blazer. “I found this in my car last night after I drove you home.”
I snatched the feather from his hand and slipped it between the covers of my planner. I had no idea how it had ended up in Xavier’s car. My wings had been firmly tucked away.
“Good luck charm?” Xavier asked, his turquoise eyes watching my face with curiosity.
“Something like that,” I replied guardedly.
“You look upset; is something wrong?”
I shook my head quickly and looked away.
“You know you can trust me.”
“Actually, I don’t know that yet.”
“You’ll find out once we spend more time together,” he said. “I’m a pretty loyal guy.”
I didn’t hear him. I was too busy scanning the faces in the crowd in case one of them belonged to Gabriel. His fears didn’t seem so unfounded now.
“Don’t overwhelm me with your enthusiasm.” Xavier laughed. His words brought me back to the present with a jolt.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m a little preoccupied today.”
“Anything I can help with?”
“I don’t think so but thanks for asking.”
“You know, keeping secrets is unhealthy for a relationship.” Xavier folded his arms comfortably across his chest and settled back in his chair.
“Who said anything about a relationship? Besides, we’re not required to share everything; it’s not like we’re married.”
“You want to marry me?” Xavier asked, and I saw some faces turn toward us in curiosity. “I was thinking we’d start slow and see where things went, but hey, what the hell!”
I rolled my eyes. “Be quiet or I’ll be forced to flick you.”
“Ooh,” he mocked. “The ultimate threat. I don’t think I’ve ever been flicked before.”
“Are you suggesting I can’t hurt you?”
“On the contrary, I think you have the power to do great damage.”
I looked at him quizzically and then blushed deeply when his meaning dawned.
“Very funny,” I said curtly.
His arm lying across the table brushed against mine. Something inside me stirred.
There was nothing I could do about it. My attachment to Xavier Woods was instant and all-consuming. Suddenly my old life seemed far away. I certainly didn’t yearn for Heaven as I knew Gabriel and Ivy did. For them, life on earth was a daily reminder of the limitations of flesh. For me, it was a reminder of the wonders of being human.
I became adept at masking my feelings for Xavier in front of my brother and sister. I knew they were aware of it, but if they disapproved, they must have made a pact to keep it to themselves. For that, I was grateful. I sensed a rift between us now that hadn’t been there before. Our relationship seemed more fragile, and there were uncomfortable silences at the dinner table. Every night I fell asleep to the sound of their whispered conversations and felt certain that my disobedience was the subject of discussion. I elected to do nothing about the increasing distance between us even though I knew I might come to regret the decision later.
For now, I had other things to think about. I suddenly looked forward to getting up in the morning and leapt out of bed without needing Ivy to wake me up. I lingered in front of the mirror, trying different things with my hair, seeing myself as Xavier might see me. In my head I replayed snippets of conversation, trying to determine the impression I’d made. Sometimes I’d be pleased by a witty remark I’d delivered; other times I berated myself for saying or doing something clumsy. I made a pastime of thinking up sharp one-liners and memorized them for future use.
I was envious of Molly and her group now. What they took for granted, I could never have: a future on this planet. They would grow up to have families of their own, careers to explore, and a lifetime of memories to share with the partners they’d choose. I was just a tourist living on borrowed time. For this reason alone I knew I should curb my feelings for Xavier rather than allow them to develop. But if I’d learned anything about teenage romance, it was that intensity wasn’t dictated by duration. Three months was the norm, six months marked a turning point, and if a relationship lasted a year, the pair was more or less engaged. I didn’t know how long I had on earth, but whether it was a month or a year, I wasn’t going to waste a single day of it. After all, every minute spent with Xavier would form the basis of memories I would need to sustain me for eternity.
I had no trouble collecting such memories because soon there wasn’t a day that passed without me having some form of interaction with him. We looked for each other routinely at school whenever we had free time. Sometimes our contact was nothing more than a brief conversation at the lockers or sitting together at lunch. When I wasn’t in class, I found myself on full alert, looking over my shoulder, trying to spy him coming out of the locker rooms, waiting for the moment when he came onto the stage during assemblies or squinting to make him out among the players on the rugby field. Molly sarcastically suggested I might need to get glasses.
On afternoons when he didn’t have training, Xavier would walk me home, insisting on carrying my bag. We made sure to extend the walk by taking a detour through town and stopping at Sweethearts, which quickly became “our place.”
Sometimes we talked about our day; other times we sat in comfortable silence. I was content to just look at him, something I never tired of doing. I could become mesmerized by his floppy hair, his eyes the color of the ocean, the habit he had of raising one eyebrow. His face was as entrancing as a piece of art. With my keen senses, I learned to identify him by his distinctive scent. I always knew when he was close by, before I could actually see him, by the clean, woody fragrance in the air.
Sometimes during those sun-kissed afternoons, I would look around furtively, expecting heavenly retribution. I imagined being watched by secret eyes gathering evidence of my misconduct. But nothing happened.
It was largely because of Xavier that I went from being an outsider to an integral part of life at Bryce Hamilton. Through my association with him, I made the discovery that popularity could be transferred. If people could be guilty by association, they could achieve recognition in exactly the same way. Almost overnight I became accepted simply because I numbered among Xavier Wood’s friends. Even Molly, who had initially discouraged my interest in him, seemed appeased. When we were together, Xavier and I turned heads, but now it was more as a result of admiration than surprise. I noticed the difference even when I was alone. People gave me friendly waves as I passed them in the corridor, made small talk in the classroom while waiting for a teacher to arrive, or asked me how I’d done on the latest test.
My contact with Xavier at school was limited by the fact that we mostly took different classes. Otherwise I might have run the risk of following him around like a puppy. Apart from the French class we shared, his forte was
