“He’s just someone from one of the peace groups. He’s married, he has a daughter.”
He sighed. “Think about it, anyhow. Promise me you’l think about it. I know how sad you are,” he said, surprising me. He’d never said anything like that before. “But life can be great, too. It’s just a question of nding the pearls in the mud, you know. I lost thirty-six friends.
Wel , friends and acquaintances. In ’82, ’83, in Lebanon. Thirty-six.” He shook his head, as though stil incredulous. “My best friend included.
He was shot right next to me. Someone threw a smoke grenade and he lifted his head a few inches to see bet er, and he got shot in the chest.
And then his brother went crazy because of it, so I lost them both, I was close to both of them. You have to learn to get over things. You have to go on; otherwise, what’s the point of life, you might as wel just kil yourself.” He began to tremble. He was trembling from head to foot. I
to go on; otherwise, what’s the point of life, you might as wel just kil yourself.” He began to tremble. He was trembling from head to foot. I knew what that was al about: he was trying to gather the courage to make a pass. I felt bad for him again.
“You’re shaking,” I said.
“Yes, I’m nervous.”
“I can’t have sex with you, Benny. I’m sorry. I’m loyal to my husband. Please don’t ask. You’re very handsome and I’m sure you’re a fabulous lover, but I can’t betray my husband.”
He got up. He was very angry, but he was trying to control himself.
“Wel , I guess there’s nothing more to say.”
“Please don’t be angry. Is this the end of our friendship?”
“No, I’m not giving up that easily,” he said.
Then he left.
When Rafi came over I told him about Benny’s proposal.
“People are picking up that things are changing for you,” Rafi said, looking inside my fridge.
“No, it’s just a coincidence. That’s the way it is, things always happen at once. You come into my life just when I might be close to nding Daniel, so why not add a marriage proposal to the pudding! Poor Benny. Though I don’t think he real y loves me, it’s just an infatuation.”
“Do you have rice?” he asked.
“Yes, in the closet on your left. Are you going to cook?”
“I’l make us a meal. You’re not very wel equipped. What do you live on?”
“It varies …”
“I’l bring some spices tomorrow, if that’s okay. When wil you be home?”
“You can come anytime. I’l give you a key, just take one from the glass bowl. They’re al house keys.”
“Dana! What are you doing with ten copies of your house key?”
“I don’t know. I give them to people, and then they lose them, so I make more copies, then they find them …”
“How many people have your key?”
“Wel , Volvo and his volunteers, Benny, Tanya, her mother, some friends …”
“Why Volvo and the volunteers?”
“Oh, in case they need something … he doesn’t have anything at his place, he refuses to buy stu for himself. He doesn’t even have a stove, maybe you noticed. Rosa does al his cooking here.”
“Aren’t you afraid someone’s going to steal your photography equipment?”
“People who volunteer to look after someone without legs are not going to steal anything.”
“Don’t be so naive, Dana.”
“I’m not naive. If you knew the volunteers, you wouldn’t worry. Miss Fitzpatrick is some sort of nun, Alex is Daniel’s oldest friend, and Joshua is about ninety years old. And the idea of Rosa stealing is about as plausible as the idea of Rosa deciding to be a porn star.”
“If you give your key to everyone, eventual y it wil get into the wrong hands—don’t you see that? Aren’t you afraid someone wil come in while you’re sleeping?”
“I have a chain on the door.”
He laughed. “Yes, that chain is real y something. We should recommend it to the army. They should come and take a look, they could learn something.”
“I guess you’re right. I guess I should be more careful. I just don’t care, though. I don’t care.”
“You’d care if you were raped in the middle of the night.”
“I feel safe here.”
“I want you to get a new lock. I’l pay for it. Cal a locksmith tomorrow, get a new lock instal ed, a decent one. And don’t hand out your key to the volunteers. Or to anyone else.”
