“People think they know what’s best for us.”
“Why? Why would that be best for me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe they thought he’d gone mad. Maybe they didn’t want you to go running after him and move there also.”
“Why would it be classified information, though? I just don’t understand.”
“Maybe it isn’t classified, just not easily available.”
“I’m thinking back to that woman, that woman who spent a lot of time trying to look Daniel up on her computer, just because she was on my side, you know. She probably wasn’t even supposed to be going in, but she was alone in the o ce, and she began checking al sorts of things. She found out that he was in Qal’at al-Maraya. And she just decided not to tel me. Or else she was afraid of get ing into trouble. I remember now that when she was reading the screen a weird look came over her face. What right does she have to ruin my life? What right do they have to keep that sort of information from me?”
“What wil you do now?”
“He has to see that I stil love him. He must be so lonely there.”
“You don’t know, Dana. You don’t know what his life is like. Maybe he’s found a way to be happy. Maybe he’s made some close friends. I wonder how he managed to get in, though. How he got them to trust him, I can’t imagine it.”
“Yes, it was right in the middle of the uprising.”
“You’re right … eleven years ago … It seems impossible. They would never have trusted him, a former soldier, wounded, I wonder how he did it.”
“You’re very tense, Rafi.”
“That’s the first time you’ve used my name.”
“Real y?”
“Real y.”
“I can’t believe that. I’m sorry. Rafi. Rafi. I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you.”
“Are you upset?”
“Let’s put on some music.” He went over to my CD col ection and put on a record that had just come out, various artists singing Jacky’s greatest hits. The clear pure voice of one of my favorite female vocalists l ed the room. A carnival of fools, showgirls on the shore, shrapnel in the air, sand on the floor. Come dance with me, dance with me, for the sake of the dream, and we’l both pretend that we can be seen.
“I have to tel my father,” I said. “I have to cal him. What time is it in Belgium?”
“I think they’re around three or four hours back, I’m not sure.”
“I’m cal ing, I can’t wait.”
It took me a few minutes to find my father’s number; I almost never phoned him. He sounded groggy when he answered.
“Dad? It’s me.”
“What’s happened?” he asked, immediately worried.
“Nothing, nothing, it’s good news.”
“Ah, the kind I like. Hold on, hold on. Just a second, I can’t hear without my glasses. Ah, here …Yes.”
“I found Daniel’s address.”
There was a long silence at the other end. “Dad, are you there?”
“Yes, yes, I’m just trying to digest what you said. He’s alive?”
“Of course he’s alive. Didn’t you know that?”
“Yes—no—I mean, I had no idea, honey.”
“I told you he’s alive, the army stil sends him his disability checks.”
“Ah, that’s right. Have you seen him?”
“Of course not! I just got the address now. It was a fluke. He’s in Qal’at al-Maraya, that’s why I couldn’t find him.”
“Qal’at al-Maraya! What’s he doing there?”
“Qal’at al-Maraya! What’s he doing there?”
“Hiding, obviously. What a bril iant hiding place.”
“Dana, how do you feel about al this?”
“What do you think, Dad? I’ve only waited eleven years! I’m so excited I can hardly breathe.”
“I’m very happy for you, darling. Very, very happy. But how the hel wil you get to him?”
“El a, maybe.”
