I won't be falling for it though.'
'Suit yourself,' Zane replied, unperturbed. He hunkered down in front of the cat and scratched it between the ears. 'Hey Patches, how's everybody's little kitty-boy doing?' he said, as if he was talking to a baby. 'Yeah, that's it. You like getting scratched between the ears, don'cha? You feeling like helping out some of my friends today? Sharing a little of that crazy feline intuition?'
Slowly, Patches slit his green eyes and peered up at James. His tail flicked.
'This is James,' Zane went on, glancing back. 'I know he's a day or two late, but he's come a long way, so he has a good excuse. You want to give him a little push in the right direction, societywise?'
The cat continued to regard James thoughtfully. James could hear him purring as Zane petted him. Finally, the cat stood up, stretched and yawned luxuriously, and padded away into the sunlight.
'Thus spake Zaruthustra,' Albus quipped, rolling his eyes.
'Shh,' Zane said, raising one hand.
Patches paced toward the administration building's open doors, tail held high, and then stopped with his left front paw raised. He turned to look back, as if making sure that the students were watching.
'Look where his foot is,' Lucy whispered, nudging James with her elbow.
James looked closer. Engraved into the stone blocks of the steps was a line of six symbols. The one closest to James was a bat, its wings half-furled. The cat was standing over one of the symbols in the middle, its right paw resting right in the middle of it.
'That can't be right, Patches,' Zane said, frowning.
'What is it?' James said, squinting. 'I left my glasses in my duffle bag. I can't see the symbol.'
Zane sighed. 'It's a glass beaker with electric bolts coming out of it, the symbol of Igor House. Patches, James is no Igor. Technomancy isn't his thing. He's an expert with defensive magic. He's a Zombie all the way. Go on, go over to the cross-eyed skull.'
To James' surprise, the cat almost seemed to shake its head. It stayed on the Igor symbol, its left foot raised, its right planted right in the center of the engraved beaker.
'I'm pretty sure I'm not an Igor,' James commented.
'Yeah, well, stupid old cat,' Zane agreed, peering sidelong at Patches. 'Good thing it isn't like the Sorting Hat back at good ol' Hoggies. You can pledge at whatever house you want, regardless of what
'Do me now!' Albus proclaimed, stepping forward. 'Let James go to the spods. What about me, Patches, ol' buddy?'
The cat regarded Albus coolly, and then put down his left paw. Slowly, he meandered along the symbols and stopped at one near the end. The shape was obvious enough that even James could make it out. It was a werewolf.
Albus nodded, grinning. 'Excellent. Wolves it is.'
'What about Ralph, then?' Zane asked, pushing the bigger boy forward.
Patches studied Ralph for a long time, his green eyes narrowed. Finally, he sat down, licked his flank a few times, got up again, and walked in a large circle. When he was done, his right foot rested on the beaker again.
'Somebody's putting catnip in your Tender Vittles, puss,' Zane said, shaking his head. 'Ralph's even less of an Igor than James here. He didn't even take Technomancy when he had the chance.'
'It's true,' Ralph said to the cat. 'I can't even spell 'technomancy'.'
Patches lifted his nose and yawned again, as if bored.
Lucy walked over to Patches and hunkered down on one knee. 'Hi Patches,' she said, tilting her head. 'I'm Lucy Weasley. Where do you think I belong?'
Patches strolled forward and rubbed against Lucy's leg, purring loudly. He walked around her and then angled toward the opposite end of the line of symbols. His shadow fell over the bat as he walked around it consideringly. Finally, he stopped and touched the center of the bat with his right paw.
Zane bobbed his head back and forth. 'Could be right on that one,' he said. 'You do seem to have a little of that 'creature of the night' mystique going for you, Lucy.'
'But I really dislike that Remora woman,' Lucy said, reaching forward to pet Patches again. 'She's so vain and ridiculous.'
Zane raised his eyebrows and poked a finger into the air. ''All types come in all houses. That's a direct quote from my House President, the dapper Jersey Devil himself.'
'What's it supposed to mean?' Ralph asked, confused.
'It means that no house is all good or all bad,' Zane answered, hefting his backpack. 'There's obnoxious twits in every society, not just the Vampires. There's even a few duds among us Zombies. On the other hand, there's decent types in every house too, although they're a little fewer and far between in some. Don't worry about it, Lucy. If you do pledge Vampire House, you'll find a few like-minded people there despite Remora's best efforts.'
'So where do we stay until we get into a society?' Ralph asked.
'There's a common dorm behind the guest house,' Zane said, nodding back the way they had come. 'Your stuff 's probably been sent there already. You'll want to get out of there as soon as you can. They haven't updated the common dorm in, like, three hundred years. If I was you, I'd get inside right now and sign up for one of the societies. The initiation process will start pretty much immediately. While you're in there, you can get your class assignments sorted out and sign up for any clubs or sports you want to get involved with.' He stepped aside and gestured toward the Administration Hall's main doors. 'Unless, that is, you want to come along with me to Precognitive Engineering.'
'No thanks,' James sighed. 'I think we better get all of this out of the way as soon as we can.'
'And I don't know about the rest of you,' Albus added, 'but I'll put off starting classes as long as I can.'
'I'd like to come along with you, actually,' Lucy said, moving to stand next to Zane. 'Unlike these two, I am anxious to see what classes look like here. I'll settle the official arrangements after lunch.'
'This way, then,' Zane said, offering Lucy his elbow. 'Precog isn't as hard as it used to be, apparently, now that Madame Delacroix is in a padded room in the medical complex, but it's still a challenge. Stick close and I'll show you the ropes.'
James shook his head as the two headed away into the throng of students.
'So,' Ralph said, moving hesitantly toward the Administration Hall doors, 'are you going to sign up for Igor House?'
James scoffed. 'No way. I'm going for Zombie House. With apologies to Patches over there.'
'That's what I was thinking too,' Ralph nodded. 'Although I can't help wondering what that cat knows that we don't.'
'You're both daft,' Albus said seriously. 'That cat's got some kind of mental link with the cosmos or something. It can see right into your soul, just like the Sorting Hat back home. Did you see how quick it was to figure out I belonged in Werewolf House? That's the house of sporting greats, strength and order. If the cat says you two are a couple of Igor spods, then you shouldn't argue with it. Patches knows his stuff.'
James pushed his brother out of the way as he turned toward the Administration Hall doors. 'A minute ago, you thought the cat was just a freshman prank.'
