ridiculous propeller beanies and being grilled by senior members of the Zombies about why they should be allowed to join, all the while crawling around on the basement's ratty carpets and poking into the dusty rafters in search of spiders, which they were instructed to collect and save in a large jar. James had half worried that part of their initiation would include eating the spiders that they were in the process of collecting and had purposely avoiding capturing several of the larger ones. By ten o'clock, Zane had been there as well, munching a huge bowl of popcorn with his feet kicked up on an old footstool covered in yellow shag carpeting. Warrington, who by then had chosen to be referred to as 'High Sultan Warrington, Master of the Fighting Freemdugs of the Second-Floor Sectional Couch', had inspected Ralph's and James' jar of spiders with a critical eye. Dozens of the arachnids scrambled over each other in the bottom of the jar, their tiny legs making a slightly maddening scritching sound on the glass.
'Not bad, pledges,' Warrington had proclaimed reluctantly. 'You got sixteen more than Zane here did on his first night.'
'No fair!' Zane had exclaimed, sitting upright in the old recliner by the stairs. 'There's two of them!'
'Yeah,' Warrington had grinned, unscrewing the lid of the jar. 'But you cheated, Walker. You transfigured half of your spiders out of ants, centipedes, and even a few stale potato chips. Most of them didn't even have the right number of legs.'
Zane had slumped backwards in the chair again. 'That's what you all loved about me, if I recall. Creative cheating is a Zombie core value. You told me so yourself.'
'Indeed I did,' Warrington had nodded, upending the jar over the stained carpet. The spiders had poured out and scrambled away in all directions, scuttling under the furniture and into dark corners.
'What'd you do that for?' Ralph had exclaimed, his eyes bulging. James had noticed that the propeller on Ralph's head spun faster when he was agitated. It had very nearly lifted him off the floor when he'd discovered the black widow's nest in the shadow of the stairs.
'Sorry, pledges,' Warrington had replied soberly. 'It's purely catch-and-release in Zombie House. Otherwise, what will the next batch of pledges have to chase after? Why, some of those spiders are like family by now.'
'I remember the big orange and purple one from my first night here,' Zane had said wistfully. 'I found it on my pillow wearing a pair of fake plastic fangs.'
The room had erupted into gales of appreciative laughter and Warrington had grinned indulgently at Zane.
Shortly, James and Ralph had been dismissed, accompanied by the well wishes and encouragement of Zane, who'd told them that he thought the evening had gone splendidly well.
'You two are shoo-ins,' he'd said as he walked them to the path in front of Hermes Mansion. 'Really. Warrington likes you, otherwise he'd have made you personally return every spider to its nest. As long as you accomplish tomorrow's pledge dare, you'll be in like lint.'
James had asked Zane what the dare would be, but Zane had shaken his head. 'If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't. Since you only got here during the last few days of pledge week, it'll probably be a big one. But you can pull it off. Don't sweat it.'
James tried not to think about it as he and Ralph made their way across the dark campus.
The common dorm was a stone block construction that loomed like a giant mausoleum in the shadow of the guest house, with no lanterns to light it and nearly every window dark. In the tiny entryway, James and Ralph found their trunks and Nobby's battered cage, inside of which the great owl eyed James balefully.
'Sorry, Nobby,' James soothed, kneeling in front of the cage and opening the door. 'I nearly forgot all about you. Go on outside and get some dinner, but don't go far. I'll find out tomorrow where they keep owls around here.'
The owl hopped out of the cage and ruffled his feathers. With a disgruntled hoot, he spread his wings and took off through the open front door.
'There's a note from your mum,' Ralph said, taking an envelope from the top of his trunk. 'It's addressed to all of us. You, me, Lucy, and Albus.'
James plopped onto his trunk and pulled the beanie from his head. 'Go ahead and read it,' he said, flapping a hand vaguely.
Ralph drew the note from the unsealed envelope and unfolded it. ''Dear children,'' he began, and then looked at James. ''Children'?'
'Just go on,' James prodded, shaking his head wearily.
''I hope you've settled in OK with your classes and house assignments. We all miss you already, although we'll be sure to see you tomorrow night at Professor Longbottom's assembly. Your new school uniforms are in your trunks. Be good and we'll see you tomorrow. Love,' blah, blah, blah, she put everybody's names here, even Headmaster Merlin.'
'That's my mum,' James smiled crookedly.
'There's something written on the back,' Ralph said, turning the note over. 'It's from Lucy. She says… she's spending the night at Vampire House with her new mates, and then she writes 'I'll probably see you three at class in the morning if you don't sleep in or skip it or forget you're on American time now'. Blimey, she can be a nag, can't she?'
James shrugged. 'That's how the women in my family show love, I think.'
'You think Albus is already here somewhere,' Ralph asked, grunting as he lugged his trunk toward a rickety dumbwaiter built into the wall next to the staircase. A very tarnished brass statue of a monkey in a bellhop uniform stood on a shelf next to the dumbwaiter door.
'I don't know,' James sighed, standing and hefting his own trunk. 'Maybe he got lucky like Lucy and is spending the night at his new house.'
Ralph socked his trunk into the large dumbwaiter compartment and James used his wand to levitate his own on top of Ralph's. The brass monkey sprang jerkily to life, squeaking as if it desperately needed to be oiled. It clambered into the dumbwaiter, sidling next to the stacked trunks, and pulled the door shut. A moment later, a ratcheting noise marked the compartment's ascent into the floors above.
'How does it know where to go?' James asked, peering at the closed door. Ralph shrugged and the two of them struck off in search of the bathrooms.
The common dormitory turned out to be just as dank, moldy, and woefully outdated as Zane had implied. When Ralph turned on the faucets, a mixture of rusty orange water, dirt, and the occasional worm spilled out, and continued for several minutes while the boys let it run. Finally, they satisfied themselves by heading back outside and splashing off in a nearby fountain. In the center of the fountain, a monstrous birdbath seemed to regard them coolly from the eyes of a half dozen stone gargoyles.
'Foreigners,' one of the gargoyles muttered, rolling its eyes.
Ralph and James chucked pinecones at the statues for a few minutes, but soon realized that nothing is quite as imperturbable as a stone gargoyle. Eventually, exhausted, the boys stumped back inside and, after a short search, found their trunks kicked out onto the hallway carpet of the top floor. There, they found an empty dormitory room and dropped immediately to sleep on the ancient, bowed beds.
The next day, James and Ralph's first class was Wizard Home Economics, which was held in the cellars of the Administration Hall, in what, for all intents and purposes, appeared to be a converted dungeon. Low vaulted ceilings were supported by squat pillars, and James had the unsettling sense that he could feel the weight of the massive building above, pressing down on the space. All in all, he found the classroom nearly indistinguishable from
