“What’s the first thing people do as they enter the lobby of the Inn? That’s right, they look up. The lodge- pole pine that makes up much of the inn rises over ninety feet from where you’re standing up to the roof’s apex. Robert Reamer, the Inn’s architect, wanted the Inn’s interior to reflect the surrounding countryside. He wanted the sun shining through the windows to remind us of sun filtering through treetops. He wanted the stone fireplace in front of us to remind us of the many mountains in Yellowstone. Just look up into the scaffolding; it looks like you’re looking up into a forest…”
Vetter: I’ve told this story so many times, and I’ll hear it come back around — you know, someone else telling it to me not realizing I know the story probably better than anyone — and the story’s always changed a bit, little details mutating here and there. Sometimes even a big detail gets a makeover.
Paris: Tell it the way you best know it.
Vetter: The way I heard it was that a newly married couple came here for their honeymoon back in the early days.
Paris: 1908.
Vetter: Sure. 1908. The Inn had only been open four seasons, but it was already well known not only here, but also throughout Europe. Hell, just look around. You ever seen anyplace like this in your life? Anyway, they come here and everything’s going great. They eat in the dining room, dance in the lobby while a band plays up high in the crow’s nest. Everything’s great, right? When the night’s over, they go to bed. Next morning, the maid knocks on their door. No one answers, so she figures it’s safe to go in. She goes in. Finds the bride’s body on the bed.
Paris: Wow.
Vetter: And sometimes you’ll hear it that she was found in the tub, but the way I heard it, she was on the bed. More symbolic that way — murdered on her marriage bed still wearing her wedding dress? Anyway, ever since, people claim to see her ghost, sans head, wandering the balconies in the early, early morning hours.
Paris: Were the bride and groom registered guests?
Vetter: If they had a room, they were registered guests.
Paris: Do you know their names?
Vetter: (chuckles) No. I suppose you could dig around the archives up in Gardiner. Find their names there. Lee could probably help you out.
Paris: Lee?
Vetter: Lee Bartlesby. Park historian, archivist, et cetera.
Paris: Did you ever see her?
Vetter: The bride? Naw. I honestly don’t believe in that shit any more than I believe in the tooth fairy. Do you? But hey, if telling the story got me a better tip, I’d tell guests I not only saw her ghost, but we kept her head in a case in the bellmen’s quarters.
Paris: I don’t suppose you could join me tomorrow night up on the balcony? For the hundred-year anniversary?
Vetter: A hundred years? Is that right? (laughs) I’d love to, but I’ve got a nine-year old girl and two-year old identical twin boys at home. Betty’d kill me.
Paris: Understood. Hey, thanks for your time. I appreciate—
Vetter: Well, hold on. As long as you’re buying the beer, there’s one other thing you might want to know about the headless bride that I haven’t told you yet.
Paris: Yeah? What’s that?
“Mr. Paris came in to my shop around 8:50 pm on September 3rd, just before closing. He asked if I had a wedding dress that he could rent for the weekend. Claimed it was for a photo-shoot he was doing at the Old Faithful Inn concerning the ghost of a bride or something like that. We’ve got all sorts of old West clothing for our photos — simple things you can take on and off really fast. They just tie in the back. Work great for our portraits. Anyway, we had an old-fashioned wedding gown, and I let him rent it for $75 for the weekend. I’ve got a copy of the receipt. Since it happened on National Park property — if I could get reimbursed for the dress — you’ve got a slush fund for that kind of thing, right?”
“I can’t believe he did that. I mean, he seemed so nice. I thought it was a fun idea. Morbid, sure, but in a fun way, you know?
“He wanted me to pose in this frumpy old wedding dress walking along the balcony, looking all melancholy. There was nothing kinky about it, nothing that got my radar going. Plus, the dress just slipped over the clothes I already had on, so it wasn’t like I had to take my clothes off, and we were in the lobby and up in the balconies the whole time, so I was never afraid of anything — you know —
“He said he was sorry he couldn’t pay me, but he did buy me a latte, and he promised he’d send me a copy of the magazine when it came out.
“Five hundred tons of volcanic rock. Can you imagine? Fitting the fireplace together one huge rock at a time until it rose forty-two feet to the roof, and then extended another forty feet beyond that. The Hebgen earthquake of 1959 caused the upper portion to collapse and blocked off five of the eight inner flues, which is why now we keep only part of the fireplace lit. There were plans to restore it to its original glory two years ago during the Inn’s renovation, but the construction team realized they’d not only have to take the entire thing apart, piece by piece, but they’d also have to put it back together the same way. Way too costly. I’ve gotta admit, I was a bit disappointed. I wanted to see what they’d find in those blocked-up chimneys. You could fit a lot of bodies in there…”
“So he took a bunch of pictures, and he wanted me to go up to the crow’s nest, but obviously we couldn’t do that, since it’s closed off. Earthquake in the 50’s screwed up its integrity or something like that. There’s a sign at the foot of the steps explaining it all. But that was the only time he seemed agitated. Not like I’d ever guess he’d go on and do what he did, but he seemed like — like he thought he was going to a buffet, and all the fried chicken was gone. Does that make any sense? Like he really wanted the fried chicken? But it was all gone, you know? Okay, I guess that doesn’t really make sense…”
“Jesus, he said he wanted it for some special photography effect he was doing. I didn’t think he was going to do that with it.”
“The clock you see on the face of the fireplace was also designed by Mr. Reamer. The pendulum is fourteen
