Agatha Raisin and the Busy Body

'Just look at them,' he said. 'There's a funny quotation I heard once about a knight who jumped on his horse and rode off madly in all directions.'

'Why did Amy come here, of all places?' wondered Agatha.

'Probably thought it would be the last place anyone would expect to see her. Maybe she wanted revenge on you. She seems to be very close to her brother. Twins are usually close. They're probably long gone by now.'

'Did they never suspect the husband of having been in on it?'

'Not for a moment. Good Republican, contributes annually to the Philadelphia police fund. Model citizen.'

'I wonder why Tom Courtney wanted me to find out the murderer. Did he think I was such an amateur I'd never guess it was him?'

'Maybe he had such a high opinion of himself he thought you would fall for him.'

'Then he must be mad,' said Agatha, feeling a guilty flush rising to her cheeks.

'By God! Look! They've got them,' said Patrick. Amy and her husband were being marched across the square by a posse of police officers and detectives.

'It's time the agency got a bit of publicity.' Agatha grinned. 'Let's go out and meet the press.'

Patrick walked to the door and then turned round in surprise. 'It's locked!'

'They can't do this!' protested Agatha. 'They don't want me out there explaining what a fool the police made of themselves.'

She began to hammer on the door. It was finally unlocked and opened by Wilkes.

'I want you to leave again by the back door, Mrs. Raisin,' he said. 'I will talk to the press.'

'If it hadn't been for me, you'd never have got them,' howled Agatha.

'Look, unless you leave quietly,' said Wilkes, 'I will make sure that you do not get any further help from us.'

'What! When have you ever helped me?'

'Do as you're told. Just go. Detective Sergeant Wong will escort you out.'

At the back exit, Agatha said furiously to Bill, 'I'm surprised at you, going along with this.'

'What do you expect me to do?' asked Bill. 'Disobey orders? Look, as soon as I can get away, I'll come to your home and tell you as much as I can.'

'I'm not going to creep away,' said Agatha when Bill had left. 'It's a free country. Let's go round the front and stand at the back of the crowd. I'd like to hear what Wilkes is going to say.'

The press were gathering outside. Wilkes was taking his time. More and more press began to arrive and a television van hurtled into the square and parked.

A crowd of onlookers crowded in along with the press. 'We'll just stand at the back,' said Agatha.

Agatha's feet were beginning to hurt as an hour passed and then another half hour before Wilkes appeared in front of police headquarters, flanked by Chief Superintendent Jack Petrie on one side, and a beaming Detective Sergeant Collins on the other.

'This is only a brief statement,' said Wilkes. 'A man and woman have been arrested in connection with the murder of Miriam Courtney. There will be a further statement tomorrow. That is all. Thank you for waiting.'

'Just a minute!' cried a loud voice. Agatha stood on tiptoe and recognised local reporter, Jimmy Torrance, pushing his way to the front. 'Detective Sergeant Collins told me earlier that private detective Agatha Raisin had made a right fool of herself by getting the wrong woman arrested. Was it the wrong woman or was she right all along?'

'I was right!' shouted Agatha.

The press turned round and began to surround her. Wilkes turned to Collins and said grimly, 'Follow me.'

Agatha, feeling that she had a legitimate reason to defend herself, gave the assembled press her version, carefully leaving out anything that might be regarded later as sub judice. She simply stated that she had recognised a woman who she believed was a suspect in a murder case and had called on the police for help. She, Agatha, had subsequently been told she had made a terrible mistake. But her detective, Patrick Mulligan, had found a photograph that proved she had been right all along. Agatha ended tactfully by saying they would need to contact the police for further details.

Chapter Eight

It was late that evening before Bill Wong arrived at Agatha's cottage. In her kitchen, he found waiting Toni, Patrick and Phil, all eager to hear his news.

'This is outside the call of duty,' said Bill wearily, 'but you have done me a great favour, Agatha. Collins has been suspended from duty. I hate that awful woman.'

'She'll get away with it,' said Agatha. 'She won't be the first detective to be caught off guard by a reporter.'

'Oh, it gets worse. Let me sit down, get me a coffee and I'll tell you what I can.'

Once he was settled at the kitchen table with a fresh cup of coffee, Bill began.

'Amy confessed to everything. She completely broke down. Her husband's alibi was false. Dressed as a man, she flew to the Cayman Islands as her brother while he, in the guise of a woman, and under Mrs. Temple's name, flew to London. He did the murder, flew back, and then flew again under his own name.'

'But why so elaborate a plot?' asked Agatha. 'I mean, they could have waited patiently until she visited the States and somehow made it look like a mugging.'

'Both brother and sister have records of mental breakdowns. Tom Courtney was believed to be a schizophrenic.'

'But if Tom Courtney's the murderer, why did he hire me?'

'He called at police headquarters and talked to Collins at one point. She did not report it. He told her he had received a phone call from his mother before her death, saying she had employed a private detective to look into Sunday's murder and who was this private detective? Collins had said that you were some sort of local menace who did more to impede the police in their enquiries than anything else. So he thought it would look good if he hired you as well, and yet not put himself at any risk.'

Agatha blushed. She had nearly gone to bed with a madman and murderer who thought she was a failure at her job.

'I know you're furious,' said Bill, taking her high colour for anger, 'but it was just another nail in Collins's coffin, I think. Still, it does seem certain that the Courtneys had nothing to do with the murder of Sunday, so we're back to square one on that case. Anyway, Amy considered the face change a good investment.'

'There are no plastic surgeons in prison,' said Toni. 'I wonder what she'll look like by the time the case gets to court. Oh, do you want me to start showing Simon the ropes? I haven't seen him today.'

'I've decided not to employ him,' lied Agatha, and then felt conscience-stricken as Toni gave a sad little 'Oh.'

'Why?' asked Phil. 'He seemed keen.'

'I don't feel like going into it at the moment,' said Agatha.

'Do you want me to start ferreting around Odley Cruesis?' asked Phil.

'No!' said Agatha, and seeing the looks of surprise said, 'Sorry I shouted at you. But we've cases to clear up, and with this latest publicity we'll probably get a lot more. Has Tom Courtney been extradited yet?'

'Still waiting, but now we've got Amy, I suppose it won't be long.'

Bill's phone rang. He walked out of the room, shouting over his shoulder, 'Keep quiet, all of you. If Wilkes knew I was here, he would have a fit.'

He came back after only a few moments, saying, 'I've got to go. Full enquiry. They're dead.'

'Who?' asked a chorus of voices.

'Both of them, Amy and her husband. Took poison.'

'How did they get poison?' asked Agatha.

'They had cyanide in a button on each of their jackets. I'm off.'

'Snakes and bastards,' said Agatha. 'That wipes me out of the headlines.'

'Cheer up,' said Patrick. 'It's too late for the morning editions.'

'So it is! Champagne anyone?'