On the following Sunday, Toni decided to go to church in Odley Cruesis. She could not understand why Agatha appeared to have lost interest in the case. She thought that a visit to the church when everyone thought things had all settled down might give her a feel of the place. But remembering the attack on Roy Silver, she decided to go in disguise.
Agatha had a box of various disguises in the office. Toni let herself into the office with her key, found the box and selected a black wig and fitted it over her short blond hair. The black wig transformed her appearance. She was wearing a conservative blue linen suit and flat heels. Toni surveyed herself in the mirror above the filing cabinets and thought she looked the very picture of a churchgoer.
It was a perfect day with the beauty of the rural Cotswolds stretched out under a large sky. Because of all the recent rain and the humid heat, the vegetation around was thicker than ever, turning the country lanes into green tunnels.
She was initially surprised to find the church was full but recognised what she considered to be a lot of visitors. No doubt the renewed publicity about Miriam's murder had bought out what Toni privately damned as 'the rubberneckers,' people who always flocked to the scene of a murder or car crash out of ghoulish interest.
She sat in a pew at the very back of the church, and as the sermon went on, said a silent prayer for the soul of Sharon. Toni was not sure that she really believed in anything, but there was something tranquil about the old church, despite the influx of visitors, as if the very stones held memories of the peace they had brought to the worried and suffering over the centuries.
She stood up when the service ended and went out into the churchyard. Toni watched people leaving. She recognised Mrs. Carrie Brother as she stopped to talk to the vicar. Then out came the two elderly couples, the Summers and the Beagles, followed after a short while by Tilly Glossop. Now hadn't Tilly Glossop been the one who had been photographed having sex with the mayor? She could do with some more investigating. And then came May Dinwoody, leaning on the arm of . . . Simon Black!
Then Penelope Timson appeared and spoke to Simon and May and led them off towards the vicarage. Simon said something and turned and ran back into the church. He came out a few moments later, passed close to Toni and dropped a piece of paper and then ran towards the vicarage.
Toni picked up the paper. 'Meet me on Dover's Hill at three this afternoon.'
Toni had visited Dover's Hill before to watch the annual Cotswold Olimpicks. The hill is a natural amphitheatre about one mile away from Chipping Campden. She remembered being particularly amused by the ancient sport of shin kicking, practised in Britain since the early seventeenth century. It was considered too painful a sport and was banished early in the twentieth century but brought back in 1951. Unlike the older games, where competitors used to harden their shins with hammers and wear iron-capped boots, the modern contestants wear long trousers with straw padding underneath. The trick is to wrestle your opponent to the ground while kicking him in the shins. Other sports include an obstacle race, falconry and morris dancing before the final torchlight procession to the square in Chipping Campden where everyone dances the night away.
That year's games had already been held in May. There were only a few tourists in the parking area at the top of Dover's Hill when Toni drove up, the world recession and a combination of the swine flu outbreak and the strong pound keeping most of them away.
She walked to the top of the amphitheatre and admired the view. Some people were having picnics on the grass. A very English smell of hot tea wafted up the hill.
She walked back to the car park and saw Simon driving up in an old Morris Minor. He signalled to her and she went to join him, climbing into the passenger seat.
'What are you doing in Odley?' asked Toni.
'I'm working undercover,' said Simon.
'With Agatha's permission?'
'Yes. She doesn't want anyone to know. I'm staying with May Dinwoody as a lodger. Don't tell Agatha you've seen me or I'll get my first black mark.'
'I won't, but what's your cover?'
'I'm taking time off after my parents' deaths and I am interested in early English church architecture. I told the vicar I couldn't stay for lunch as I had an urgent appointment and got out of there before he could ask what the appointment was.'
'How are you getting on?'
'Fine. Fortunately, Giles, the vicar, likes to hear the sound of his own voice. He preaches on and on so all I have to do is listen. Then May Dinwoody makes toys to sell at the markets so I'm helping her. We'll be at Morton market on Tuesday.'
'Does anyone in the office know what you are doing?'
'No.'
'Then you'd better be careful. Sometimes, if it's quiet at the office, Phil Marshall goes shopping at the market. If I were you, I'd wear a hat and sunglasses, just in case. And talking of disguises, how one earth did you recognise me under this wig?'
Simon laughed. 'Once seen, never forgotten. Any hope of seeing you again?'
'I wouldn't like to at the moment. I just hope I haven't risked anything by meeting up with you.'
Simon glanced around. 'Nothing but tourists. Don't worry. I know--I might take next Sunday off, say I'm visiting relatives and meet you in Mircester.'
'I'll give you my phone number,' said Toni.
'I've already got it. I took it off the files in the office along with your mobile number.'
'So why didn't you just ring my mobile when you saw me in the graveyard?'
'Think about it, Toni. Everyone would have turned and had a look at you when your sacrilegious phone started ringing amongst the gravestones.'
'See you.' Toni got out of Simon's elderly car and got into her own car. It was hot from the sun beating down on it. She opened the windows, took off the black wig and put it on the seat beside her. As she started up the engine and twisted her neck to reverse out, she had a funny feeling of being watched. She got out of the car again and looked around. Nothing but the usual tourists and a busload of pensioners on a day out from Wales. Evans Luxury Tours, Cardiff was emblazoned on the side of a bus that looked as decrepit as the passengers stiffly climbing back on board.
Toni was just about to drive off again when her mobile phone rang. It was Simon. 'In all the excitement of meeting you,' he said, 'I forgot to tell you about an awful article in the
Stopping at a newsagent's in Chipping Campden, Toni bought a copy of the
She skimmed through it until she came to a large head-and-shoulders photo of Agatha. The headline read: ENGLAND'S ANSWER TO INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU.
It was a cruelly funny article that started with Agatha's first attempt to marry James Lacey, which was aborted when her husband, whom she had presumed dead, turned up to stop the ceremony. Then followed details about how many times the police had had to rescue Agatha at great cost to the taxpayer. She was damned as an amateur who bumbled about from case to case, smoking, drinking and bullying until she frightened someone into attacking her. The author was a reporter called Dan Palmer.
Toni decided to go and see how Agatha was coping with this thunderbolt.
She met Charles on the doorstep. 'I am here to do a bit of hand-holding,' he said. 'Seen the article?'
Toni nodded. Charles rang the bell. There was no reply. Charles opened the letter box and shouted through it, 'It's me, Charles, with Toni.'
They waited and then the door opened. 'Come in,' said Agatha abruptly. 'I suppose you've both seen the
Charles and Toni sat down in garden chairs. Agatha was wearing an old housedress and her face was not made-up.
'Are you going to sue?' asked Charles.
'I can't. Every occasion when the police came to my rescue is correct, including that last one which involved
