The tears didn’t come. Janet felt some energy slip out of her body. Her spine became loose and springy, like a bouncing, flailing child’s toy. She slipped forward, out of the chair and onto one knee on the floor. Stynes reached out, placed his hands on her arms, and braced her. He kept her from going flat on her face.
But she didn’t cry.
Had she ever cried for Justin? Really?
Had she cried as a child when he first went missing? Had she cried at his funeral?
For a long moment, they sat like that, Stynes holding her limp body. But she didn’t faint or black out. She saw the details in the carpet. The loose threads, a paper clip shining in the fluorescent lights. The energy came back quickly. She felt her spine stiffen, felt the strength return. She pushed against Stynes, lifted herself back into the chair.
“Are you-?”
“I’m fine,” she said.
She slid back against the chair as Stynes let go. She pushed her shoulders back, lifted her chin. She would be fine. She knew it was likely it would be him. She could accept that.
Justin was gone. He was really gone.
It was over.
“Would you like me to call somebody?” Stynes asked. “Do you have a friend here?”
Janet shook her head. She was fine. And she didn’t want anyone else in the room. Certainly not Madeline. She could hear the news from Stynes, take the blow, and then figure out what to do next. She had to tell her dad, had to tell Ashleigh. She had to tend to the details of the reburial once they released the body.
“And they’re certain?” Janet asked.
“Yes. As close to one hundred percent as they can get. They were able to recover some very usable DNA, and the comparison was relatively easy as far as those things go.”
“And the man in jail?”
“We don’t know yet.”
“And Dante?”
“They tried but couldn’t recover anything that might be able to prove or disprove Dante’s guilt. I don’t think this changes much.”
“Thank you for telling me in person.”
“Janet, there’s something else.”
“I guess reporters will hear about this soon-”
“Janet? The tests showed something else.”
“Maybe we’ll get back to a normal life now. Maybe after the reburial-”
“Janet.” Stynes’s voice grew louder. It focused her, brought her back to the matter at hand. She looked at Stynes, saw the pitying look in his eyes. He had something else to say to her. What else could he possibly have to say to her?
“Okay.”
“Janet, they also tested your father’s DNA against the sample from Justin. Like I said, they do this to increase the likelihood of an accurate reading. When they received the results from that test, they found that your father and Justin share no genetic material. They’re not biologically related in any way. Justin is your brother, but he’s not your father’s son.”
Janet still felt strong. Something hot and red rose inside her chest. She no longer saw Detective Stynes sitting before her. She saw a small man, an imperfect man, one who couldn’t even manage the simple matter of reporting the results of a DNA test.
“No, you’re wrong.”
“They double-check their work.”
“You’re an asshole,” she said. She wanted to push back from the table, to lash out at Stynes. If she were a man, she’d hit him. He couldn’t say these things about her family. About her father. “That’s a lie.”
Stynes didn’t look wounded by her words. His expression didn’t change. He just looked tired.
“I’m not lying, Janet,” he said.
“Then they’re lying. Or they’re wrong. Crime labs make mistakes all the time. I see it on the news. The police make mistakes all the time. And so I can’t know that what you said about Justin is true. None of it is true.”
Speaking the words allowed her anger to ebb. She heard the irrational tone of her voice, the snapping, bitter quality to what came out of her mouth. Her chest still burned with an internal redness but it was not as hot. This was simply a problem that could be solved. They had messed up the test. How else to explain the nonsense Stynes was repeating to her?
Stynes remained calm in the face of her outburst. He nodded, his face and demeanor full of sympathy.
“This is something you’re going to have to take up with your father. The test results are conclusive. They don’t leave room for error. I can go with you when you talk to him if you want.”
Janet tuned him out. She didn’t need his pity. She didn’t need anyone’s pity. Her mind spun. Her father wasn’t Justin’s father? Justin was her half brother?
And then she had another thought: was her father really her father?
Who was he?
“I have to go home,” Janet said.
She stood up, although that word resonated in her head.
Didn’t she?
“Let me drive you. You’re upset.”
Janet held out her hand. “I’m fine. I can get myself home.”
“Can I follow you?”
She walked over to Stynes and held out her hand. He looked down at it, his face puzzled. They shook. “I know it was difficult for you to have to tell me this news,” she said. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry I had to tell you,” he said.
“No, I know it’s your job.” She let go of his hand. She didn’t even know why she shook it, except that she felt like she wanted some kind of connection, something to show that she recognized the importance of what she had been told. She didn’t want him to think her irrational or incapable of accepting the worst. She was capable. She knew she was. And she had to believe Stynes knew it too. But still…she wondered. “Are you sure, Detective? About all of this? Are you sure?”
Stynes nodded. “I’m sure.”
“My brother’s dead. Really dead. And my father…”
“I’m sorry.”
But she didn’t want to hear that, didn’t want to or need to hear those words, so she left, heading for home.
Chapter Forty
“Dad?”
The house wasn’t just quiet-no TVs playing, no conversation or music. It
Janet went down the hall to the bedroom. The door was open, the bedclothes pushed down. The TV was off. She stepped back into the hallway. The bathroom was empty as well.
“Dad?”
As she drove home from work with Detective Stynes’s words spinning through her head, she tried to make sense of it all. And worst of all, it did make sense in ways Janet didn’t want to admit. Justin’s paternity made for a
