“That was so long ago-”
“Did you know?”
Rose pressed her lips together, making them disappear. “I wondered. Many times I wondered. Ray thought it might be true.”
“And Michael?”
Rose looked behind her. She came closer to Janet, pulling the door shut a little more in an attempt to block the sound of their voices from entering the house. “I never wanted him to hate his father. I wasn’t going to be the person who destroyed what my son thought of his dad.”
“He hated him anyway,” Janet said.
“But that’s because of other things,” Rose said. “Ray cut him off. He was giving Michael money, and he stopped. It’s this new girl Ray’s dating. Ray wouldn’t…He loves Michael very much.”
Janet took a step back and looked at the woman’s face. Was she really making excuses for her ex-husband, the man who cheated on her, fathered another child, and left her? After all these years, was she still in love with him?
“I’m telling him, Rose. I’m here to tell him.”
Rose started to object but stopped. Finally, she stepped back and let Janet into the house.
Janet told Michael most of the story. While she explained everything-the DNA test, the story her father told her about the affair, and the events of the day Justin died-Rose sat on the couch, listening with her head down. Michael asked few questions during Janet’s recitation of events. She watched his face carefully, saw his cheeks redden, his jaw set tight, as if his teeth were gripping something strong and desperately trying to tear it away. He did speak once. He looked at his mother and said, simply, “He did that to you, Mom?”
Rose didn’t answer him.
When Janet finished, Michael sat still and quiet. Rose scooted closer to him and placed her arm around his shoulders. He stiffened under her touch, and Rose looked like she had been slapped.
“I told you, didn’t I?” Michael said.
Janet knew what he meant.
“What do you mean, Michael?” Rose asked.
Michael didn’t answer her. He stared at Janet, his eyes boring into her.
“You need to tell her, Michael,” Janet said.
“Tell me what?”
“Michael?”
When he still didn’t say anything, Janet stepped in.
“Michael has been trying to figure some things out over the years, things about the day Justin died. He saw his father in the woods that day, right in the area where Justin’s body was found.”
Rose was already shaking her head.
“And,” Janet said, “we know that he might have wanted to come to our house that day to tell my dad. If he did that, he would have walked right through there.”
“Ray wouldn’t. He couldn’t.”
“Rose, did he leave the house that morning?” Janet asked. “Did he want to come over to talk to Dad?”
“It’s been so long-”
“Stop protecting him, Mom. Just stop it.” Michael’s voice was as flat and hard as a winter road.
Rose removed her arm from around Michael’s shoulders and placed her hands in her lap and knotted them together. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. “He did leave the house that morning,” she said.
Michael made a low grunting noise. It sounded like a cross between pain and anger.
Rose said, “He told me about…” Her voice trailed off, but she pointed at Janet. “The things you just told me about. And he said he wanted to talk to Bill in person.” She looked at Michael. “We fought that morning when he told me. We never fought. Ever.”
“I know,” Michael said.
“That’s why we sent you to the park that day,” Rose said. “We fought about all of this, including Justin. Ray said he thought Justin might be his child. I guess that was the part I couldn’t bear to hear, that he might have had a child with another woman.” She looked at Janet. “We tried to have another after Michael, but we couldn’t. I couldn’t, I guess.”
“I’m sorry,” Janet said.
“I begged him to stay,” Rose said. She smiled at Janet, but it carried no joy. “I guess you don’t understand that,” she said. “Girls from your generation, you’re more independent. Stronger. Look at you, raising a daughter all by yourself. And working at the same time.”
“Don’t feel bad,” Janet said.
“Well, Ray didn’t listen to me anyway. He said he needed to talk to Bill about it man-to-man. He wanted to clear the air that one time, get everything out in the open, and then never mention it again. That’s the way Ray is. He didn’t want to have a long talk about anything. He thought it could be cut and dried. He was done with me, and he could move on. The end. So he did leave to do that, to talk to your dad, to tell him in person.”
“Did he drive or walk?” Janet asked.
“He walked. He went right out the back door and over toward the park.”
“We have to call the police,” Michael said.
“But he came back, right?” Janet asked, ignoring Michael for the moment. “When did he come back?”
Rose paused and thought about her answer. “It wasn’t long. Twenty minutes maybe. He came back in the door and said that something was wrong in the park. He said the police were there, so he decided to come home. Then the phone rang.” Rose pointed at Janet. “Your mom was on the phone. I thought she was calling for…I don’t know, something else. But she was upset. She said Justin was missing, and she wanted to know if he was over at our house. Ray told her no, he wasn’t.” Rose looked down. “I may have said some awful things then. I said if she was a better mother and wasn’t interfering in someone else’s marriage, maybe she could keep better watch on her kids. It was a terrible thought, but I didn’t know what had happened to Justin at that point. I wouldn’t have said or thought those things if I had known.”
Michael stood up. “We have to call the police.”
“And tell them what?” Janet asked. “That a man had an affair twenty-five years ago and probably fathered a child out of wedlock? What’s the crime?”
“He was there,” Michael said. “At the scene. He walked through there.”
“Again, not a crime.”
“But the police should talk to him about it.”
Michael paced around the small room. He walked to one end and then the other and back again. Janet saw the tension in his posture, the tendons in his neck stretched taut. Janet waited, hoping he’d settle down on his own. Together, they could decide what to do and what it all meant.
Then Rose said, “When your father came home that day, his pants were dirty.”
Michael stopped pacing and turned back to her.
“What?” he said.
“His pants were dirty. He said he fell on the path. He came in and threw the pants into the washing machine.”
Janet turned to Michael, but he was already moving. He was through the door before Janet even made it off the couch. She followed him outside. When she came out into the hot night air, she saw the car backing out into the street, then the taillights receding into the distance.
She had to follow him.
Chapter Forty-two
Janet called Detective Stynes from her car. She drove with one hand and held the phone with the other. When Stynes came on, she didn’t know exactly what to tell him, so she tried to make it as simple as possible.
