Love me to death

“Talk to me, Lucy.”

She didn’t want to put a voice to her feelings, for fear they would chase Sean away. How could she explain them to him without sounding stupid? Or whiny?

“Do you want to make love to me?”

He stared at her. “Is this a trick question?”

“Not right this minute-but in general. If we were alone, would you make love to me?”

“Why are you asking me this? Do you think I’m pressuring you? I’m not-I just can’t stop touching you.”

“I like that.”

“You’re confusing me, Lucy. Tell me what you’re really thinking.”

She closed her eyes. Maybe, if she wasn’t looking at him, it would be easier to explain.

“I want to be normal,” she said. “You make me feel beautiful and wanted, but I fear …” She hesitated. Swallowed and gathered the courage to tell Sean the truth. “I fear that you’ll treat me different because of what happened to me. I don’t want to be different. I want you to treat me like you would any other woman you desire, not like I’m going to fall apart or have a panic attack. I want to be just like your other girlfriends.”

Sean didn’t say anything, and Lucy knew she’d said too much. After all, they’d had only a few days to get to know each other, a few days tarnished by murder and stalkers and vigilantes. Hardly a strong enough foundation on which a new relationship could grow.

She tried to get up, but Sean wrapped his arms tighter around her.

“Look at me, Lucy.”

She turned to face him.

“You’re not like my other girlfriends. Don’t tense up on me; you’re going to hear me out. You’re not like them. That’s a good thing. But it has nothing to do with your past. Nothing.” He shook his head with a half-smile. “I’ve dated airheads. Beautiful women who have little motivation or drive to do anything profound or meaningful. They’re shallow. You’re anything but shallow.”

“Then why me?”

“I grew weary of superficial women a long time ago, but I didn’t know how to get out of the cycle. Didn’t really want to. And then I met you, and you’ve been on my mind ever since.”

“Ever since last week? I brought a lot of drama into your life.”

“Last week? What about last month, when we had dinner at RCK on the kitchen floor? What about last year?”

“Last year?”

“You don’t remember? When you flew to Sacramento to visit Patrick and Jack, you came by the RCK office one afternoon and I was sitting in my office. Patrick introduced us.”

“I remember, but that was like two minutes.”

“I was instantly drawn to you. I knew then I was tired of the life I’d created. I didn’t know I’d be moving out here, though I did hope to see you again. But you never came by after that, and Patrick said you’d just broken up with your boyfriend, and I really didn’t want to be mister rebound guy. Not to mention you were three thousand miles away.”

“Now I’m six blocks away.”

“Much better.” He kissed her. His hand touched the soft skin under her chin, then moved to the back of her neck so he could hold her closer, so he would convince her he meant everything he said.

“I can’t promise you that sometimes you won’t think I’m treating you … different … as you say. Everything that happens to us becomes a part of us. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It shapes our future, our destiny. But what really matters is what’s in here.” He put his hand on her chest. “I would do anything to wipe away what was done to you; I would do anything to take away your memories and pain and fear. But deep down, you’re Lucy Kincaid. Smart, beautiful, compassionate. Your compassion and drive are boundless. You are different, but not only because of what happened. You’re different because you care. You want to make a difference in the world, by helping others find peace in theirs. There’s so much in here,” he pressed her chest firmly, “that makes you special.”

She couldn’t help but smile just a bit, her cheeks flushed.

“I want to be with you, Lucy.” He kissed her, his hand moving to cup her full breast. “And if I have to make love to you to prove it, then I guess I’ll make the sacrifice.” He smiled. “I’m willing to sacrifice quite often. I think you’re kind of stubborn, you might need constant reinforcement that I find you not only beautiful, but incredibly sexy.”

She wrapped both arms around his neck. “You’re amazing.”

“I know.”

“And arrogant.”

“I’m a Rogan. It’s in the genes.”

“I like it.”

Lucy relished Sean’s attitude. She enjoyed how he touched her breast, how comfortable he was with his body and with hers. His confidence made her more confident.

She leaned forward, shifting on his lap slightly so she was sitting firmly on top of him. She kissed him on the neck, little wet kisses up to his ear, then to his mouth where she kissed him fully, her body moving as if it had a mind of its own.

He had his hands on her waist, his hands moving under her shirt, touching her bare skin. They were so warm, almost hot against her cool flesh, as they moved to her breasts and stopped, holding them, his fingers moving in a light, sensual massage at the top of her demi-cup. When his thumbs rubbed against her nipples, she gasped in surprise at the flash of heat that shot through her body.

“Lucy,” Sean groaned, hugging her tightly, giving her a long kiss that left her breathless. He reluctantly pulled his lips from hers and said, “We should get back downstairs, or I’m going to get in trouble for something that we’re not even doing.”

It took Lucy a second to figure out what he meant.

She smiled, enjoying this new feeling, this new relationship with this man. She hadn’t been expecting it, and yet … she wasn’t going to question or analyze what she felt, especially now. “I almost forgot we’re not alone in the house.”

“That might not stop me next time.”

TWENTY-FOUR

When Lucy came down the stairs, she spotted Dillon in the dining room talking on his cell phone. She waved a greeting. Even after learning what happened with Morton’s plea agreement, it was good to see her brother home.

Dillon stared at Sean for a beat too long, and Lucy turned away, a bit sheepish, realizing that Kate probably already told him everything. Not only about Morton and the stalker, but also her involvement with Sean. A lot had happened in the time he’d been gone.

“I think I’ll make some coffee,” she said as Sean followed her into the kitchen.

Sean kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t worry. Your brother will soon love me,” he whispered in her ear.

She suppressed a laugh. “You think Jack will, too?”

Sean feigned fear. Maybe he wasn’t pretending. “He liked me before you fell for me; maybe that’ll mean something.” He winked at her.

Dillon walked in and said, “Kate told me about Cody. I’m so sorry, Lucy.”

Dillon didn’t mean to quash her good mood, but reality dampened her spirits.

“Yeah,” she said. “Me, too.” What else could she say? She was so drained right now that sleep was the only thing on her mind. But she suspected that the minute she lay down, she’d be running over every conversation she could remember between her and Cody, trying to identify signs she’d missed.

She rinsed out the coffee carafe and went about the business of making coffee, needing something to do with