Trial Junkies

And it wasn't just a sip.

He drank the whole goddamn bottle.

Later, as they lay in bed, her warm breasts pressed against his arm, Ronnie said, 'What if they convict me? What am I gonna do?'

He reached over, stroked her hair. Ran his hand along her jaw. 'You can't think like that.'

Yet he'd been thinking the very same thing.

'Can't I? We point at the evidence and moan about how ridiculous it is, but there's no guarantee the jury will see that. Some of those women look at me as if I'm the Devil incarnate-and the trial has barely even started.'

'Then we'll just have to prove that Langer's the one who should be on trial.'

She sighed. 'Let's be realistic. What you proposed tonight sounded like something from a bad TV show.'

'Good thing I have a lot of experience with that.'

'I mean it, Hutch. The only way I'm getting out of this is if the jury votes for acquittal or Langer miraculously confesses-assuming he's even done anything. I'm still not convinced he's the bad guy.'

'He's a stalker, we know that much.'

'Do we?'

'Come on, Ronnie. He's obviously been obsessed with you ever since he saw you at school. And I've seen the way he looks at you in the courtroom. Everything in my gut tells me he's our guy.'

'And what if your gut is wrong?'

'Then we just have to hope the jury sees through Detective Meyer's bullshit. Maybe you'll feel better after Waverly does her cross.'

She turned onto her back now and brought her forearm over her eyes, trying to hide the tears that were forming. 'I am so screwed…'

Hutch got up on his elbow. 'You have to think positive, kiddo. It'll all work out. We'll make it work.'

She took her arm away and wiped at the tears. 'How?'

A good question. The logistics of what he had proposed tonight had been loosely worked out, but when it came down to it, they were a bunch of amateurs and they were flying blind.

'We'll find a way,' he said. 'I promise.'

She nodded and tried to smile, tried to put on a brave face, but her eyes were full of doubt and he didn't blame her. Then she said in a small, tentative voice, 'What if there's another way to beat this? A way that has nothing to do with Langer or the jury.'

'I don't understand.'

'I could disappear,' she said. 'Take Christopher and run. Do what Langer did and create false identities. You could even come with us if you-'

'Stop,' he said. 'Don't say another word.'

She got quiet for a moment, then started to cry again. 'I can't go back to jail, Hutch. Not for something I didn't do. And these bastards want to put me away for the rest of my life.'

'And running only makes you look guilty.'

'So what? Everyone already thinks that.'

'I don't,' Hutch said. 'And neither do your friends.'

'I'll try to remember that when I'm exercising in the prison yard.' She rolled onto her side, putting her back to him. She was quiet for a long time, then she said, 'If I run, at least I'll be with my son.'

'And where would you go?'

'I don't know. Mexico, maybe. South America. Somewhere remote.'

Hutch sighed.

Was that what this night had really been about? Ronnie manipulating him again, saying she wanted to help him forget, when what she really wanted was his help in running away?

Stop letting your dick do your thinking for you.

He needed to bring her back to reality, pronto.

'This is the twenty-first century, Ron. Nobody disappears anymore. It isn't possible. Everyone has cell phones, cameras, Internet connections, Twitter feeds. You'd have the FBI and Interpol circulating your photos around the world and sooner or later they'd find you. I'm guessing sooner.'

'What about Langer? He did it. Changed his identity.'

'Yeah, but it took Matt-what? — less than a day to figure out he wasn't kosher. And Langer's a nobody. With the kind of publicity you've been getting, how long do you think you'd last?'

'I told you, I could go somewhere remote.'

'And do what? Herd sheep for a living?'

'If I have to.'

Hutch sat up now, looking down at her, wondering if she really meant what she was saying. She must have known the idea was absurd. She wasn't a stupid woman.

He swung his legs around and got to his feet. 'I know I said I'd help you, Ronnie, but not like this. I won't do this.'

'I wasn't serious about you coming along.'

'I hope you aren't serious at all. Running isn't the answer.'

She looked up at him. 'Isn't it?'

He studied her a moment-her wounded eyes, her naked frame perched at the edge of the bed as if she was already preparing to run. Her body was compact, toned, her skin as soft and flawless as a child's. And that's what she looked like right now. A forlorn, frightened child.

But she wasn't one. Far from it.

There had been a fierce desperation to their lovemaking, but it had felt right, more right than Hutch had anticipated, with none of the requisite awkwardness that accompanied a first time together. He moved around the bed and crouched in front of her, smoothing her dark hair with his hand, remembering how it had dangled toward his chest as she had worked her hips atop him.

'It'll all work out,' he said. 'You have to trust me.'

'I want to. I really want to.'

'Promise me you won't do anything crazy.'

She said nothing. Merely reached out and put her arms around his neck, urgently pulling him toward her.

A few moments later he was inside her again.

And for a short time, all was right with the world.

Later still, as Ronnie slept quietly beside him, their legs entangled, her head resting against his shoulder, Hutch thought he saw Jenny standing near his bedroom window, hiding in the shadows there, watching them.

Then he realized he was dreaming, and in the dream she stepped forward into the moonlight, wearing only the faded UIC Flames t-shirt that Nadine had worn two nights ago.

She studied Hutch with mild disapproval, then said, 'Really, Ethan? I'm dead four months and you're already sleeping with her?'

'A moment of weakness,' he told her. 'It doesn't really mean anything.'

'It does to her.'

He turned and looked at Ronnie then, her eyes closed, her breathing shallow, her naked form curled up beside him. Clinging to him.

Had he made a mistake?

When he looked at Jenny again, she was gone, and a sudden ache filled his gut. He sucked in a sharp breath and held it, wondering if the pain would ever leave him.

Where were you, Ethan?

Why didn't you return my calls?

Then he opened his eyes, awake now, and tried very hard not to cry.