The Cords of Vanity. A Comedy of Shirking

'Surely,' said she, with sudden interest in the structure of pine-cones; 'since for a long while I have wanted to know all about Jaques. You see Mr. Shakespeare is a bit hazy about him.'

'So!' I thought, triumphantly.

And aloud, 'It is an old story,' I warned her, 'perhaps the oldest of all old stories. It is the story of a man and a girl. It began with a chance meeting and developed into a packet of old letters, which is the usual ending of this story.'

Rosalind's brows protested.

'Sometimes,' I conceded, 'it culminates in matrimony; but the ending is not necessarily tragic.'

I dodged exactly in time; and the pine-cone splashed into the hazard.

'It happened,' I continued, 'that, on account of the man's health, they were separated for a whole year's time before—before things had progressed to any extent. When they did progress, it was largely by letters. That is why this story ended in such a large package.

'Letters,' Rosalind confided, to one of the pines, 'are so unsatisfactory. They mean so little.'

'To the man,' I said, firmly, 'they meant a great deal. They brought him everything that he most wished for,—comprehension, sympathy, and, at last, comfort and strength when they were sore needed. So the man, who was at first but half in earnest, announced to himself that he had made a discovery. 'I have found,' said he, 'the great white love which poets have dreamed of. I love this woman greatly, and she, I think, loves me. God has made us for each other, and by the aid of her love I will be pure and clean and worthy even of her.' You have doubtless discovered by this stage in my narrative,' I added, as in parenthesis, 'that the man was a fool.'

'Don't!' said Rosalind.

'Oh, he discovered it himself in due time—but not until after he had written a book about her. As the Coming of Dawn the title was to have been. It was—oh, just about her. It tried to tell how greatly he loved her. It tried—well, it failed of course, because it isn't within the power of any writer to express what the man felt for that girl. Why, his love was so great—to him, poor fool!—that it made him at times forget the girl herself, apparently. He didn't want to write her trivial letters. He just wanted to write that great book in her honour, which would make her understand, even against her will, and then to die, if need be, as Geoffrey Rudel did. For that was the one thing which counted—to make her understand—' I paused, and anyone could see that I was greatly moved. In fact, I was believing every word of it by this time.

'Oh, but who wants a man to die for her?' wailed Rosalind.

'It is quite true that one infinitely prefers to see him make a fool of himself. So the man discovered when he came again to bring his foolish book to her,—the book that was to make her understand. And so he burned it—in a certain June. For the girl had merely liked him, and had been amused by him. So she had added him to her collection of men, —quite a large one, by the way,—and was, I believe, a little proud of him. It was, she said, rather a rare variety, and much prized by collectors.'

'And how was she to know?' said Rosalind; and then, remorsefully: 'Was it a very horrid girl?'

'It was not exactly repulsive,' said I, as dreamily, and looking up into the sky.

There was a pause. Then someone in the distance—a forester, probably, —called 'Fore!' and Rosalind awoke from her reverie.

'Then—?' said she.

'Then came the customary Orlando—oh, well! Alfred, if you like. The name isn't altogether inappropriate, for he does encounter existence with much the same abandon which I have previously noticed in a muffin. For the rest, he was a nicely washed fellow, with a sufficiency of the mediaeval equivalents for bonds and rubber-tired buggies and country places. Oh, yes! I forgot to say that the man was poor,—also that the girl had a great deal of common-sense and no less than three longheaded aunts. And so the girl talked to the man in a common-sense fashion—and after that she was never at home.'

'Never?' said Rosalind.

'Only that time they talked about the weather,' said I. 'So the man fell out of bed just about then, and woke up and came to his sober senses.'

'He did it very easily,' said Rosalind, almost as if in resentment.

'The novelty of the process attracted him,' I pleaded. 'So he said—in a perfectly sensible way—that he had known all along it was only a game they were playing,—a game in which there were no stakes. That was a lie. He had put his whole soul into the game, playing as he knew for his life's happiness; and the verses, had they been worthy of the love which caused them to be written, would have been among the great songs of the world. But while the man knew at last that he had been a fool, he was swayed by a man-like reluctance against admitting it. So he laughed—and lied—and broke away, hurt, but still laughing.'

'You hadn't mentioned any verses before,' said Rosalind.

'I told you he was a fool,' said I. 'And, after all, that is the entire story.'

Then I spent several minutes in wondering what would happen next. During this time I lost none of my interest in the sky. I believed everything I had said: my emotions would have done credit to a Romeo or an Amadis.

'The first time that the girl was not at home,' Rosalind observed, impersonally, 'the man had on a tan coat and a brown derby. He put on his gloves as he walked down the street. His shoulders were the most indignant—and hurt things she had ever seen. Then the girl wrote to him,—a strangely sincere letter,—and tore it up.'

'Historical research,' I murmured, 'surely affords no warrant for such attire among the rural denizens of tranquil Arden.'

'You see,' continued Rosalind, oblivious to interruption, 'I know all about the girl,—which is more than you do.'

'That,' I conceded, 'is disastrously probable.'

'When she realised that she was to see the man again—Did you ever feel as if something had lifted you suddenly hundreds of feet above rainy days and cold mutton for luncheon, and the possibility of other girls' wearing black evening dresses, when you wanted yours to be the only one in the room? Well, that is the way she felt at first, when she read his note. At first, she realised nothing beyond the fact that he was nearing her, and that she would presently see him. She didn't even plan what she would wear, or what she would say to him. In an indefinite way, she was happier than she had ever been before—or has been since—until the doubts and fears and knowledge that give children and fools a wide berth came to her,—and then she saw it all against her will, and thought it all out, and came to a conclusion.'

I sat up. There was really nothing of interest occurring overhead.

'They had played at loving—lightly, it is true, but they had gone so far in their letter writing that they could not go backward,—only forward, or not at all. She had known all along that the man was but half in earnest— believe me, a girl always knows that, even though she may not admit it to herself,—and she had known that a love affair meant to him material for a sonnet or so, and a well-turned letter or two, and nothing more. For he was the kind of man that never quite grows up. He was coming to her, pleased, interested, and a little eager—in love with the idea of loving her,—willing to meet her half-way, and very willing to follow her the rest of the way—if she could draw him. And what was she to do? Could she accept his gracefully insulting semblance of a love she knew he did not feel? Could they see each other a dozen times, swearing not to mention the possibility of loving,—so that she might have a chance to reimpress him with her blondined hair—it is touched up, you know—and small talk? And—and besides—'

'It is the duty of every young woman to consider what she owes to her family,' said I, absentmindedly. Rosalind Jemmett's family consists of three aunts, and the chief of these is Aunt Marcia, who lives in Lichfield. Aunt Marcia is a portly, acidulous and discomposing person, with eyes like shoe-buttons and a Savonarolan nose. She is also a well-advertised philanthropist, speaks neatly from the platform, and has wide experience as a patroness, and extreme views as to ineligibles.

Rosalind flushed somewhat. 'And so,' said she, 'the girl exercised her common-sense, and was nervous, and said foolish things about new plays, and the probability of rain—to keep from saying still more foolish things about herself; and refused to talk personalities; and let him go, with the knowledge that he would not come back. Then she went to her room, and had a good cry. Now,' she added, after a pause, 'you understand.'

'I do not,' I said, very firmly, 'understand a lot of things.'

'Yet a woman would,' she murmured.