The Rivet in Grandfather's Neck. A Comedy of Limitations

that famed beauty whose two-hundred-year-old story all Lichfield knows, and no genealogist has ever cared to detail—eternally weaving flowers about her shepherd hat. There, too, is Evelyn Ramsay, before whose roguish loveliness, as you may remember, the colonel had snapped his fingers in those roseate days when he so joyously considered his profound unworthiness to be Patricia's husband. There is also the colonial governor of Albemarle—a Van Dyck this—two Knellers, and Lely's portrait of Thomas Musgrave, 'the poet,' with serious blue eyes and flaxen hair. The painting of Captain George Musgrave, who distinguished himself at the siege of Cartagena, is admittedly an inferior piece of work, but it has vigor, none the less; and below it hangs the sword which was presented to him by the Lord High Admiral.

So quietly did Charteris come that the colonel was not aware of his entrance until the novelist had coughed gently. He was in a dressing-gown, and looked unusually wizened.

'I saw your light,' he said. 'I don't seem to be able to sleep, somehow. It is so infernally hot and still. I suppose there is going to be a thunderstorm. I hate thunderstorms. They frighten me.' The little man was speaking like a peevish child.

'Oh, well—! it will at least clear the air,' said Rudolph Musgrave. 'Sit down and have a smoke, won't you?' 

'No, thanks.' Charteris had gone to the bookshelves and was gently pushing and pulling at the books so as to arrange their backs in a mathematically straight line. 'I thought I would borrow something to read—Why, this is the Tennyson you had at college, isn't it? Yes, I remember it perfectly.'

These two had roomed together through their college days.

'Yes; it is the old Tennyson. And yonder is the identical Swinburne you used to spout from, too. Lord, Jack, it seems a century since I used to listen by the hour to The Triumph of Time and Dolores! '

'Ah, but you didn't really care for them—not even then.' Charteris reached up, his back still turned, and moved a candlestick the fraction of an inch. 'There is something so disgustingly wholesome about you, Rudolph. And it appears to be ineradicable. I can't imagine how I ever came to be fond of you.'

The colonel was twirling his pen, his eyes intent upon it. 'And yet—we were fond of each other, weren't we, Jack?'

'Why, I positively adored you. You were such a strong and healthy animal. Upon my word, I don't believe I ever missed a single football game you played in. In fact, I almost learned to understand the game on your account. You see—it was so good to watch you raging about with touzled hair, like the only original bull of Bashan, and the others tumbling like ninepins. It used to make me quite inordinately proud.'

The colonel smoked. 'But, Lord! how proud I was when you got medals!'

'Yes—I remember.'

'Even if I did bully you sometimes. Remember how I used to twist your arm to make you write my Latin exercises, Jack?'

'I liked to have you do that,' Charteris said, simply. 'It hurt a great deal, but I liked it.'

He had come up behind the colonel, who was still seated. 'Yes, that was a long while ago,' said Charteris. 'It is rather terrible—isn't it?—to reflect precisely how long ago it was. Why, I shall be bald in a year or two from now. But you have kept almost all your beautiful hair, Rudolph.'

Charteris touched the colonel's head, stroking his hair ever so lightly once or twice. It was in effect a caress.

The colonel was aware of the odor of myrrh which always accompanied Charteris and felt that the little man was trembling. 

'Isn't there—anything you want to tell me, Jack?' the colonel said. He sat quite still.

There was the tiniest pause. The caressing finger-tips lifted from Musgrave's head, but presently gave it one more brief and half-timid touch.

'Why, only au revoir, I believe. I am leaving at a rather ungodly hour to-morrow and won't see you, but I hope to return within the week.'

'I hope so, Jack.'

'And, after all, it is too late to be reading. I shall go back to bed and take more trional. And then, I dare say, I shall sleep. So good-by, Rudolph.'

'Good-night, Jack.'

'Oh, yes—! I meant good-night, of course.'

The colonel sighed; then he spoke abruptly:

'No, just a moment, Jack. I didn't ask you to come here to-night; but since you have come, by chance, I am going to follow the promptings of that chance, and strike a blow for righteousness with soiled weapons. Jack, do you remember suggesting that my father's correspondence during the War might be of value, and that his desk ought to be overhauled?'

'Why, yes, of course. Mrs. Musgrave was telling me she began the task,' said Charteris, and smiled a little.

'Unluckily; yes—but—well! in any event, it suggested to me that old letters are dangerous. I really had no idea what that desk contained. My father had preserved great stacks of letters. I have been going through them. They were most of them from women—letters which should never have been written in the first place, and which he certainly had no right to keep.'

'What! and is 'Wild Will's' love-correspondence still extant? I fancy it made interesting reading, Rudolph.'

'There were some letters which in a measure concern you, Jack.' The colonel handed him a small packet of letters. 'If you will read the top one it will explain. I will just go on with my writing.'

He wrote steadily for a moment or two…. Then Charteris laughed musically.

'I have always known there was a love-affair between my mother and 'Wild Will.' But I never suspected until to-night that I had the honor to be your half-brother, Rudolph—one of 'Wild Will's' innumerable bastards.' Charteris was pallid, and though he seemed perfectly composed, his eyes glittered as with gusty brilliancies. 'I understand now why my reputed father always made such a difference between my sister and myself. I never liked old Alvin Charteris, you know. It is a distinct relief to be informed I have no share in his blood, although of course the knowledge comes a trifle suddenly.'

'Perhaps I should have kept that knowledge to myself. I know it would have been kinder. I had meant to be kind. I loathe myself for dabbling in this mess. But, in view of all things, it seemed necessary to let you know I am your own brother in the flesh, and that Patricia is your brother's wife.'

'I see,' said Charteris. 'According to your standards that would make a great difference. I don't know, speaking frankly, that it makes much difference with me.' He turned again to the bookshelves, so that Musgrave could no longer see his face. Charteris ran his fingers caressingly over the backs of a row of volumes. 'I loved my mother, Rudolph. I never loved anyone else. That makes a difference.' Then he said, 'We Musgraves—how patly I catalogue myself already!—we Musgraves have a deal to answer for, Rudolph.'

'And doesn't that make it all the more our duty to live clean and honest lives? to make the debt no greater than it is?' Both men were oddly quiet.

'Eh, I am not so sure.' John Charteris waved airily toward Sebastian Musgrave's counterfeit, then toward the other portraits. 'It was they who compounded our inheritances, Rudolph—all that we were to have in this world of wit and strength and desire and endurance. We know their histories. They were proud, brave and thriftless, a greedy and lecherous race, who squeezed life dry as one does an orange, and left us the dregs. I think that it is droll, but I am not sure it places us under any obligation. In fact, I rather think God owes us an apology, Rudolph.'

He spoke with quaint wistfulness. The colonel sat regarding him in silence, with shocked, disapproving eyes. Then Charteris cocked his head to one side and grinned like a hobgoblin.

'What wouldn't you give,' he demanded, 'to know what I am really thinking of at this very moment while I talk so calmly? Well, you will never know. And for the rest, you are at liberty to use your all-important documents as you may elect. I am John Charteris; whatever man begot my body, he is rotten bones to-day, and it is as such I value him. I was never anybody's son—or friend or brother or lover,—but just a pen that someone far bigger and far nobler than John Charteris writes with occasionally. Whereas you—but, oh, you are funny, Rudolph!' And then, 'Good-night, dear brother,' Charteris added, sweetly, as he left the room.