The Blind Barber

and the Bermondsey Terror said he didn't care, and if any games tiled 011 him—Peggy slammed the door. 'Goroosh!' said Captain Valvick, wiping his forehead. He* shook his head despondently. 'Ay tell you ay seen roughneck ships before, but diss one of Old Barnacle's iss de worst. It iss hawful. Ay haff a cook once on de old old Betsy Yee which get mad and chase de whole fo'csl round and round de deck wit' a carving-knife; and ay t'ank now ay could get him a job on diss ship and he be right at home, Coroosh! what iss going to happen next?'

A faint, pleasant, gurgling noise behind them caused them to turn. The neck of a bottle had been tilted up among a brush of savage red whiskers. It descended. Red-whiskered and black-wigged, Curtis Warren regarded them affably,

'Good for the old Bermondsey Terror!' he said. 'I'd like to meet that fellow. He'd make a good addition to our crowd. It reminds me a little of the way I served old Charley Woodcock about an hour ago… What does Abdul weigh, Peggy? Woodcock's fairly light.'

Cool despair settled on Morgan, so that he felt pleasant Mini collected now. Nothing more, he was certain, could happen. They might as well bow before the Parcae and enjoy the gyrations of those relentless sisters.

'Ha ha-ha!' he said. 'Well, old boy, what did you do In Woodcock? What's Woodcock got to do with this?'

'Now do you think I got out of the jug, anyhow?' demanded Warren. 'It was a stratagem, I'm telling you, and i damned good stratagem, if you ask me. I asked you before, What did Lord Gerald do in Chapter Nine? And I'll tell you. The trick was this. If they thought he was safely locked up, then he could prowl as he liked and get the evidence that would hang the guilty man. That was my position… So I had to have a substitute to take my place in they wouldn't suspect anything. And if I do say it myself, I worked it pretty well — though I'll have to hand the teal credit to you, Hank.' He removed his whiskers to talk the better.

'Woodcock was definitely the one person I could summon to me so that he'd come any time I liked, wasn't he? Right. Well I carefully prepared my ground by seeming to sleep all afternoon, so they'd get used to it; I refused dinner and everything. Then I wrote a note to Woodcock. I said I had news from my Uncle Warpus, and to come down to the brig at exactly seven o'clock. Just before this, I told him to have a message sent in the captain's name to the sailor on guard — I'd learned his name — to get him away for ten minutes, so there'd be nobody to hear when we talked business. I asked the sailor whether I could send a message, and he said he supposed it was all right, but he couldn't leave to take it; so they sent a pageboy. The only thing was, I was afraid somebody might read it, so—' Warren glanced round with triumphant glee, rubbing his hands.

'Masterly,' said Morgan in a hollow voice.

'So what did I do? I ripped the book apart. There's always the heavy mucilage sticking the cover to the inside flaps of the book; and I tore out one of the flaps and sealed it. And it worked! Good old Charley came through. The sailor didn't like to leave when the fake message came through; but he saw there were bolts on the outside of the door I couldn't move, and I was asleep, anyway.' Warren made a gesture. 'Down comes Woodcock and says, 'You've got it, have you?' And I said, 'Yes; just pull back those bolts and open the door for a second; I don't want to get out, but I'll have to give you this.' So he opened the door. And I said, 'Look here, old man, I'm damned sorry, but you know how it is,' and I let him have it in the jaw… '

'Darling!' said Peggy. 'Oh, you poor dear idiot. Why didn't you make him tell before you hit him?… Oh, confound it all, if you'd only done what I wanted you to, if you'd only tortured him before you hit him! Oh, dear… and now look what's happened, with all this nasty fighting and torturing!' She wrung her hands. 'Abdul and Uncle Jules, look at them! And unless we can get them on their feet there'll be no performance. Listen! I can hear the crowd upstairs already… '

She snatched the bottle from Warren's hand and strengthened herself with a draught. A wheel seemed to go round behind her eyes. 'The n-nasty d-drunken b-beasts!' said Peggy; 'the—'

'My deah!' said Mrs. Perrigord, 'Oh, I say, I don't know what has kick-happened, but I think it was most owfully clevah of Mr. Joyce to torture oil those people, and get out of gaol, I do, reolly, especially as it was Henry's idea, and I think we reolly might have the courtesy to offer Mi, Lawrence a glass of champagne… '

'Silence!' roared Morgan. 'Listen, Peggy, the performance doesn't matter now; hasn't that occurred to you? Have you realised that we're saddled again with that blasted emerald… which Curt swears he got out of Kyle's cabin? Curt, come to your senses. You couldn't have got it out of Kyle's cabin, I tell you! Lord Sturton—'

Warren shook his head tolerantly, agitating the curls of the savage black wig that was jammed over one ear.

'No, no, old man,' he said. 'You don't understand. Not Lord Sturton — Lord Derreval. Lord Gerald Derreval. If you don't believe me, go down to Kyle's cabin — it isn't Mi from here — and look behind the wardrobe trunk just under the porthole. The steel box is there; I left the box there so the crook would maybe think the emerald was still In it…

Valvick whirled on Morgan.

'Maybe,' he said, 'maybe it been dere all de time! Coroosh! You t'ink dere is two emeralds, and one of dem a fake, and somebody hass returned de fake to dat English duke, eh?'

'Impossible, Skipper,' returned Morgan, who was feeling queerly light-headed. 'Don't you think Sturton would know a real emerald from a fake? Unless, somehow, the Will emerald was returned to him… I don't know! The thing's driving me insane. Go on, Curt. Go on from the consummation of your crafty scheme to entice Woodcock In the brig. What then?'

'Well, 1 got in a neat upper-cut, you see… '

'Yes, yes, we know that. But afterwards?'

'I tore the sheet up, bound and gagged him securely, and tied him to the berth so he couldn't move; then I put a blanket over him, so when the sailor came back he'd only look into the cell and think I was there… Neat, eh?'

'I have no doubt,' agreed Morgan, 'that at the present moment Mr. Woodcock thinks very highly of your forethought. If the idea had ever previously occurred to him to tip over the beams concerning your Uncle Warpus. I should think it would recommend itself strongly to him now. You're a wonder, you are. Carry on.'

'So I sneaked away and made straight for Kyle's cabin to get the goods on him. I wasn't afraid of running into Kyle because I looked through a porthole and saw him in the bar; besides, I knew he was due at the concert. And— there you are. The proof! Also, I've got his papers. All I was afraid of was what Captain Whistler had said about maybe catching Kyle, but everything was fine. Now all we've got to do is examine his papers, and we'll find evidence that he's really the crook who's impersonating Dr. Kyle____'

'Yess, dere is de papers, too,' rumbled Captain Valvick. 'It is a hawful offence, ay tell you. Worst offence on de high seas to steal a man's papers. What we going to do now?'

Morgan stalked up and down the cabin, slapping his hand against the back of his head.

'There's only one thing. We've got to get Curt back to the brig before the captain learns he's on the loose. I don't see how it's to be done without—Mrs. Perrigord' he said whirling round, 'what are you doing?'

'But, my own Henry,' protested Mrs. Perrigord, jumping involuntarily. Her face wrinkled up in anguish. 'Oh, I do so hope I didn't offend you! Reolly, I was only ringing the bell for the steward. Pierre Louys wants a bottle of champagne, you know, and you know it would be dreadfully rude if we didn't kick-offer… But I reolly didn't know which was the b-bell, so what could I do but ring oil the bells, you see… '

Morgan reeled. He dived and caught her arm just as she

was about to press a last push-button, hitherto overlooked, and labelled 'Fire Alarm.'

'Peggy,' he said, 'if you ever showed any sense and speed, show 'em now. If those bells don't bring down a Blob, at least there'll be a crowd of highbrows swarming in ire If things are all ready for the performance. At the moment, this is the safest place on the ship for Curt if you'll do as I tell you. Black his face — fit him out in wig Mild whiskers… '

'I will, Captain!' said Peggy grimly. 'The poor darling sha'n't go back to that horrible old brig if 1 can help it. But what—?'

Morgan took her hands and looked her steadily in the aye.

'Can i trust you and Curt here for just five Minutes — just five minutes, that's all I ask — without your getting