The Blind Barber

'Signor Fortinbras! It ees-a me, Signor Benito — Furioso — Camposozzi! Signor Perrigord he weesha to know eef you are alla-right. He—'

Peggy raised a quavering voice. 'He is quite all right, Signor Camposozzi. He ees-a — I mean, he is dressing now. Please come back in five minutes. Mrs. Perrigord wishes to speak to you.'

'Ah! Good! Tenn-mee-noota and we start. Good! Good! I am averraglad to hear it. Signor Ivan Slifovitz hasa tolda me,' bawled Signor Camposozzi, with deplorable Latin lack of reticence, 'that he thought you might hava drink too moocha Gin…'

'Gin?' repeated a sudden, thoughtful, sepulchral voice just behind Morgan. It seemed to come from deep down in the earth. 'Gin?'

Uncle Jules abruptly sat up. He slid off the couch. With eyes half-closed and face intent, as though some illuminating idea had come to him, he walked straight to the door.

'Je vais chercher le gin,' he explained hurriedly.

Valvick was after him at a bound, but, since his hand was on the knob of the door, nothing less than a full- sized miracle could have prevented discovery if Signor Camposozzi's attention had not been momentarily distracted.

'Reel' squeaked Signor Camposozzi, for a reason they could not discern. 'Sangua delta madonne, who are you? (lo away! You been-a fighting; you area onea begga crook… '

'Now look 'ere, Guv'nor,' protested a hoarse voice, 'don't run awy, will yer? 'Ere! Come back! I've got 'ere,' continued the Bermondsey Terror, 'two gold watches, two sets of cuff-links, two pocket- books, but only one set o' Kinds. I'm looking for a chap nymed Cap'n Valvick, 'oo owns part of it, and I wants ter 'ave 'im tyke his choice. 'Mre! Come back — I only wanted to ask where I could find—'

There were two sets of frantic footsteps rushing away as the Bermondsey Terror pursued him.

18 — Gold Watches and Disappearance

'A little more larceny, of course,' said Morgan, 'added to the list of our other offences won't matter a great deal. All the same, Skipper, you'd better stop the Bermondsey Terror and give him time to think up some excuses. Also, it mightn't be a bad idea to retrieve Captain Whistler's best studs and cuff-links.'

Valvick took Uncle Jules, who was smiling vacantly, and propped him against the wall with one hand while he unlocked the door. He called 'Bermondsey!' and one set of footfalls stopped. Then Valvick set up Uncle Jules like a sign on a couch just beside the door.

'He's coming round,' said Warren, inspecting the red face of the puppet-master. 'Look here, Baby, what happens to our new scheme if the old geezer wakes up? He may not be too tight to play, after all. Better give him another drink.'

'We'll do nothing of the kind!' snapped Peggy. 'We don't need to abandon our scheme. If he does come round, we can still hide in the back of the stage. Take off your helmet, Curt, and fill it with water. We'll slosh him down, and then maybe—'

She stopped as the Bermondsey Terror, laden with his plunder, stooped his head under the door. Except for a torn necktie and a scratch down one cheekbone, the Terror was undamaged. A drowsy smile went over his face.

'Ho!' said the Terror. ' 'Ere's the stuff, sir. You and t'other gentleman just pick out whatcher want.'

Valvick peered out hastily, drew him into the cabin, took the booty from his hands and slid it out of sight along the couch.

'Listen, Bermondsey,' he growled, wiping his forehead: 'Ay am afraid dere has been a mistake. Ay 'tank you haff smack de wrong men. Ay—'

'Ho?' inquired the Terror. His smile deepened. He Willed his head and closed one eye portentously. 'I sorter thought so, d'yer see, when I see 'oo they wos.' Shaken by hoarse mirth, he winked again. 'Never yer mind, Guv'nor. Did me good, that workout. Wot's the game? I sorter thought there wos something up when first I see somebody go into the sawbones' room and come out with the green jule thing as that gentleman's got now,' he nodded at Morgan, who had disentangled himself from Mrs. Perrigord, 'and then I see you two take it back. None o' my ruddy bursness, yer see, till you asks for 'elp.'

Again he laughed hoarsely. Morgan, to whom had come a glimmer of hope that might avert Peggy's insane idea, took it up.

'Look here, Bermondsey. About those two robbers— just how much damage did you do to them?'

The Terror smiled complacently. He counted a few Imaginary stars, closed his eyes, and uttered a snore.

'Out,' inquired Morgan.

'Cold,' said the Terror.

'Did they see you? Would they know you again, I mean?'

'Ho!' said the Terror. 'Not them! Wosn't no light, yer see. 'Ad ter strike a match ter tear the watches orf 'em. Ho-ho-ho!'

'Bermondsey,' said Warren, enthusiastically, as the other stared dully at his costume, 'I want to shake your hand. I also want to offer you a drink of champagne… What's on your mind, Hank?'

Morgan had begun to stalk about excitedly. He picked up the watches and examined them. Then he put them down on the couch with the emerald elephant.

'If this idea works out,' he said, swinging round, 'then there'll be no need to he under a heap of marionettes and play dead for two days. Nor will there be any need to go to the brig, either, for any of us except Curt… '

'That's fine,' said Warren. 'That's great. Well, all I've not to say is, and I take my oath on it, I am not going back lo that damned padded cell, whatever happens! Get me? furthermore—'

'Shut up, will you? — and listen! You'll need to go back for not more than an hour. The whole point is, Captain Whistler doesn't know you're out of the brig, does he? Right. Now don't interrupt. So what have we got? We've got in Bermondsey a witness who can definitely prove we were not stealing that emerald out of Kyle's cabin, but were returning it, together with Kyle's papers. Our witness needn't say anything about Curt's having taken it from there. Then—'

'Ahoy dere!' protested Valvick. 'Coroosh! you are not going to try to see Barnacle now, are you?'

'Listen! Then this is the way it's to be done:

'Peggy takes the note-cases, watches, and the rest of it, including the emerald. She goes to Whistler and says, 'Captain, do you know what the two people you thought were thieves have done? They've saved your bacon and saved the emerald when it was nearly stolen a second time.'

«She then tells a story of how, as we were passing by, the skipper and I saw a mysterious masked stranger—' i 'Horse feathers!' said Warren, with some definiteness.

'You're drunk.'

Morgan steadied himself. 'All right, we'll omit the mask then. We saw this stranger sneaking out of Kyle's cabin

laden with Kyle's papers and the emerald. We set on him; i and, although he got away without our learning who he was, we retrieved the whole thing… 'A howl of protest arose, and Morgan regarded them sardonically. 'Actually, the reason why you oppose it is that you want to hide in with the marionettes and put on that damned show, don't you? Isn't that true?'

'Yes, ay know,' Valvick growled stubbornly, 'but what about dem getting beaten up?'

'That's part of it. You don't honestly imagine even old Whistler would believe we'd pinch his watch and cufflinks, do you? Very well: Admittedly we were in a bad t position and acted hastily when we ran out on him. But our mythical crook, who was ever in attendance, is on the watch; and, thinking Whistler's got the emerald from us, bursts in. By the use of a bottle as a weapon — that's Whistler's own story, remember, and he's got to stick to it whether he believes it or not — the crook lays low the captain and the second officer, and he makes a clean haul of everything…

He stopped, feeling that the story sounded thin even to his own ears; yet also convinced that their own plan