The Blind Barber

was even more impracticable. It was a case of Mephistopheles in deep water, a toss-up of two insanities, but at least his scheme might do something towards soothing the gigantic wrath of Captain Whistler. Warren grunted.

'And then you and Valvick attack this crook again, I suppose?' he asked. 'Hank, it's the bunk. I'm surprised at you.'

'No! You don't understand, The crook, groggy from (upturn Whistler's powerful smashes, staggers away to full. We, roused by the noise, return. We find the plunder again. At first we daren't take it to Whistler, knowing what he'll think. But Peggy, seeing we have nothing to fear from our noble conduct, persuades us—'

He saw that Valvick was wavering and scratching his chin, and said desperately:

'Let's put it to a vote. We do this, while Curt returns to the brig and pacifies Woodcock by a definite promise to get him the testimonial. Listen!' An inspiration struck him. 'Do you realise that, while Captain Whistler's authority only extends over the high seas, Woodcock is a private citizen and can prosecute in the civil courts? He can get n thousand pounds damages for that, and he's not got any false dignity to restrain him. Do you want to go to jail, Curt? Well, if you leave Woodcock tied up there much longer — and they may not discover him until to-morrow— he'll be so wild that a bug-powder testimonial from the President himself wouldn't keep him quiet. For God's sake, get the champagne out of your brains for three seconds mid think! You needn't stay in the brig any longer than you like, Curt. Whistler's promised to let you out.'

'I still vote No,' said Warren. A babble of voices arose, while they got together in the middle of the cabin waving their arms and shouting. Mrs. Perrigord said it was oil owfully clever, and she voted as Henry did.

'Eee! Stop it!' cried Peggy, clapping her hands to her ears. 'Listen. Let me talk. I'll admit I think it would be rather nice to go to the captain and make goo-goo eyes ai him, sort of. Wait! But we'll let it rest on Uncle Jules and — I don't care what you say, he's my uncle, and I won' have him g-guyed because they s-say he's too drunk to—'

'Steady now!' said Warren, as she shook her fist! desperately.

'… to play. And we'll let it rest at that. If he's sober enough to play inside of, say fifteen minutes or half at hour, we can hold the curtain until then; we'll adopt Hank's idea. If not, then we'll carry on as we'd intended… What's that noise?' She broke off suddenly. Her smeary eyes travelled past Morgan's shoulder and widened. Then she screamed.

'Where,' said Peggy, 'is Uncle Jules?'

The door of the cabin was lightly banging with the slight roll of the ship.

Uncle Jules was gone. Also missing were the watches the cuff-links, the note-case, the studs, and the emerald elephant.

19 — Indiscretions of Uncle Jules

The Moorish warrior removed his spiked helmet and flung U on the floor.

'Sunk!' he said wildly. 'Sunk! Done brown. Come on, lake our vote if we want to, but we can't do either one thing or the other now. I'm getting sick of this. What's the Hint ter with the old soak? Is he a kleptomaniac?'

'You let him alone!' cried Peggy. 'He can't help it. lie's drunk, poor darling. Oh, why didn't I think? He's done it before. Only mostly it's only motor-car keys, and there's not an awful lot of harm done, in spite of what awful people say…'

'What do you mean, motor-car keys?'

Her eyes wrinkled up. 'Why, the keys of the cars, you know; things you turn on the ignition with. He waits till somebody goes away, leaving the key in the car, and then he sneaks up ever so softly and pinches the key out. Then he goes away somewhere until he can find a fence, and throws the key over it. After that he goes on to find another car. There was a most horrible row in St. Louis because he got loose in a ground where they park cars, and pinched thirty-eight keys at one haul… But why don't you do something? Go after him! Get him back before they find—'

'Hah!' cried a furious voice.

The door was flung open. Fat-faced, with vast trembling cheeks, sinister beetle brows and vast moustachios, a tubby little man stood in the doorway. He pointed at Peggy.

'So! So! You have trieda to deceive me, eh? You have a trieda toa deceive Signor Benito Furiosa Camposozzi, eh? Sangua della madonne, I feex you! You tella me he cesa all-right, eh? Haah! What you call all-aright, eh? I tell you, signorina, to youra face, he ees-a drunk!' Signor (' im isozzi was breathing so hard that he choked. Peggy hurried up to him.

'You saw him? Oh, please tell me! Where is he?'

Signor Camposozzi raised one arm to heaven, slapped his forehead, and the whites of his eyes rolled up horribly.

'Sooah? You aska me if I see heem? Haah! I weela tella you! Never have I beena so insulted! I go up to him. I say, 'Signor Frotinbras!' He say, 'Shhh-h!' In heesa hands he hasa got fourteen gold watches and pocket-books. He open theesa pocket-books and handa me — me — he handa; me wan pound note. He say, 'Sh-hh! You buya me onea* bottle of gin, eh? Sh-h!' Den he go off asaying, 'Shh-h!' and a pooshing wan pound note under every door he see. I say—'

'There goes the old swordfish's dough,' said Warren, staring from under his villainous eyebrows. 'Look, Mr. Sozzi, listen. Did you see — I mean, did he have a kind of a jewel thing with him? A sort of green thing on a gold chain?'

'Haah! Dida I see it?' inquired Signor Camposozzi, with a withering leer. 'He hasa fasten it around his neck.'

Morgan turned to Valvick. 'The fat's in the fire now anyway, Skipper,' he said. 'Whatever else we do, we can't be marionettes. But if it occurs to Uncle Jules to give that emerald away to somebody… well, we can't be in more trouble than we are. We'd better go after him. No, Curtli No! You're not coming, do you hear?'

'Certainly I'm coming,' said Warren, drawing his scimitar again and placing a bottle of champagne in the pocket of his robe. 'Think I'm going to miss this? It's absolutely safe. My own mother wouldn't recognise me in this outfit. If we run into the old haddock or anybody, I can simply gesture and say, 'No speeka da Eenglish.' See?'

As a matter of fact, he was the first one out the door. Nobody protested. The fat was now sizzling and flaring in the fire anyway; and, Morgan reflected, at least three! people were better than two at nobbling Uncle Jules— provided they could find him — before he gave away Captain Whistler's watch to somebody and left a trail of Captain Whistler's money all along C deck. Also, they were joined by the Bermondsey Terror.

'Head for the bar!' said Morgan as the three of them

blunged up the passage. 'He'll go in that direction by instinct. No, not that way. Turn round and go by the port side, or we may run into Whistler and his crowd… '

I hey stopped. A confused noise was beginning to bellow down in the direction of cabin C 46; the patter of running feet, excited voices, and a stentorian ocean-going call to glim. The four allies instantly shifted their course and Mimic for the forward part of the boat — a fortunate circumstance, since they picked up Uncle Jules's trail within a few seconds. Indeed, nobody but Messrs. Lestrade, Gregson, Mild Athelney Jones could have missed it. Two or three doors were open, and infuriated passengers, clad only in ill ess trousers, and dress shirts hanging out over them, were dancing stockingless in the doors while they bawled Hi ii dazed steward.

'I couldn't 'elp it!' protested the steward. 'I tell you, Nil

'You!' said Warren, presenting the point of his scimitar Hi I lie steward's breast, an apparition which nearly brought a scream bubbling from between the other's hps. 'You!' lie repeated, as the steward strove to run. 'Have you seen him? A bald-headed drunk with a prizefighter's shoulders and his hands full of stuff?'

'Yes! Y-yes, sir! Take that thing away! Just gone! Did he get yours too?'

'My what?'

'Shoes!' said the steward.

'I'll have the law on this line!' screamed one maddened passenger, laying hold of the steward's collar. 'I'll sue 'em for the biggest damages ever awarded in a court. I'll complain to the captain. I put my shoes outside my door to be polished, and when I go to get 'em what do I see but—'