“Huh,” Aphrodite said.
“Huh,” Shaunee said.
We all breathed a long sigh of relief.
And that’s pretty much how the day proceeded. Stark was back to his old, charming, sexy, totally fabulous self. When I asked what the heck had gotten into him he said, “Z, I slept like a log and I feel like Superman today!” Seriously. Superman. And, apparently, he meant it ’cause he was zooming around everywhere, laughing and being a total guy.
He was the cutest thing I’d seen since that Trololo Cat YouTube video.
So, before school was cool. The ride to school was even okay. Well, Aphrodite was grumpy, but that was pretty much normal. Plus, she was actually talking to Shaunee, which was nice ’cause it was obvious Shaunee wasn’t sure who she was now that she wasn’t one half of the Twin team. And we did stop at Starbucks on the way. I know fledglings aren’t supposed to feel caffeine highs anymore, but it definitely seemed like we were all buzzing by the time we pulled into the House of Night.
Of course once we got to school everything else was, as Stevie Rae would’ve said, as under control as herding cats.
It all started with first hour. Okay, I hadn’t actually forgotten Thanatos was going to use me as an example for her how-do-we-deal-with-losing-parents class project or whatever. I’d just kinda misplaced the memory of it, which probably had to do with Stark being so dang adorable and me being so dang happy he was acting like himself again.
And maybe I hadn’t wanted to remember. Maybe I’d just wanted to not be momless and heartbroken for a little while.
Anyway, my selective amnesia didn’t last more than just about two-point-five seconds after I stepped into first hour and followed Stevie Rae and Rephaim up front. Aurox was there, just where he’d been yesterday. He met my gaze for an instant before he looked away. Then I remembered what was up—that class wasn’t just going to be me being entertained or me daydreaming. Class was gonna be, well,
It was only later that I realized my seer stone, for the first time, hadn’t heated up at the sight of him because, of course, Thanatos started to talk, which totally distracted me by putting the cherry on top of my anxiety sundae.
“I read your questions and found a common theme in many of them,” she said. “Quite a few of you expressed a desire to discuss how to deal with the loss of your parents. The truth is if you complete the Change and become vampyres, you will inevitably lose not just your parents, but all of your mortal contemporaries because, as you already know, although vampyres are not immortal we are definitely longer lived than humans. So, to help us delve into this subject I have solicited the aid of the only one of your peers who has lost a parent, as well as a mate, to death—Zoey Redbird.”
I wanted to die.
Everyone was quiet and paying attention, even the jerky red fledgling back row that surrounded Dallas.
“First, let me begin with a word of encouragement,” Thanatos said. “As you know, my affinity is death. I often guide spirits in their crossing from this world to the Otherworld, so I can tell each of you with certainty that there is an Otherworld waiting for us. I have not traveled there, but Zoey has.” She smiled encouragement to me. “I believe you have seen both your mate and your mother joyously welcomed into Nyx’s realm.”
“Yes.” I realized my voice was way too soft, so I cleared my throat and tried again, louder. “Yes, I saw my mom welcomed by Nyx, and I actually spent time there with Heath.”
“And is it a beautiful place?”
I felt a little of the sickness leave my stomach as I remembered the good part. “Yeah, it’s awesome. Even when my soul was shattered and I was super messed up, I could feel the peace and happiness in the Goddess Grove.”
Stevie Rae’s hand went up. “Yes, Stevie Rae.” Thanatos called on her.
“Is it okay if we ask questions?”
“Zoey?” Thanatos’s wise gaze turned to me.
“Yeah, sure, I guess.”
“Then go ahead and ask your question, Red High Priestess.” Thanatos’s gaze took in the entire class. “But let us remember the rules of civility that are always in effect in my classroom.”
There was a pause and then Stevie Rae asked me, “Uh, so, the Otherworld, it’s a big grove?”
I was surprised by her question and her obvious curiosity—then I realized she’d never asked me much of anything about the Otherworld. Really, outside of Sgiach, and mentioning it when I’d led the ritual for Jack, I really hadn’t talked about it hardly at all.
“Well, yeah, but I know there are a bunch of different parts of the Otherworld. Like when I first found Heath he was fishing off a dock that was on a really pretty lake.” Even though missing him made me sad, the memory made me smile. “Heath loved to fish. I mean, seriously loved it. So, that’s where I first found him, but when we needed to be safe we went to the Goddess Grove. That was in a different part of the Otherworld.”
Damien’s hand went up and Thanatos called on him.
“I know you didn’t see Jack up there, but are you saying that you believe there are places in the Otherworld that are specific to each of us?”
I thought about it for a second, and then nodded. “Yeah, I think that’s a good way of describing it. Jack is probably in the arts and crafts section.”
Damien smiled through his tears. “He wanted to be a fashion designer. He’s in the
“Oooh! Nice section,” I heard from somewhere behind me and a few kids laughed softly.
Hesitantly, Aurox’s hand went up. After Thanatos called his name, he turned so that he could meet my gaze. “You said there are different parts of the Otherworld. Do you think there is a part that is a place of punishment?”
His strange, moon-colored eyes were filled with an unspoken anguish, and I knew his question came from a place that was deeper than curiosity and that my answer would mean more than just providing random school information.
I drew a long breath and found spirit within me. I held to the element that was closest to my heart and trusted that through it my Goddess would guide my words. As I started speaking I noticed how quiet it had gotten in the room and I could practically feel the back-row kids holding their breaths.
“I saw things in the Otherworld that were scary and not nice, but they were outside forces and not from the Goddess. Did I see a place of punishment? No, but what I did see was Heath moving on to another realm of the Otherworld. He believed he was going to be reborn from that part of the realm. While he was leaving he told me that, even though he was moving on, our love stayed with him.” I paused and had to blink hard and wipe at one tear that had somehow escaped. “What my gut tells me is that Nyx isn’t a Goddess of punishment, but it wouldn’t surprise me if really hateful people are reborn in a way that either makes up for the awfulness of their past lives, or teaches them something they didn’t learn before.”
“You mean like someone who was a wife beater gets reborn as a woman?” Shaunee said.
“How about as a woman in a burka in Afghanistan?” Aphrodite added with a sarcastic lift of an eyebrow.
“Yeah, that is kinda what I mean,” I said. “But I think the what and where and who would be up to the Goddess.”
“Do you think it’s ever up to the person?” Aurox asked me.
“I hope so,” I said earnestly, thinking of Heath and my mom.
“So, knowing beyond any doubt that there is an Otherworld and that our loved ones can find their way to it, even if they aren’t vampyres, or even fledglings, is some comfort to us as we outlive the mortals in our lives. That does not mean losing a parent is ever easy. Zoey, I know this is painful, but could you share with us what it is that is most difficult for you about your mother’s death?”
I nodded and opened my mouth to say something about the fact that now she can’t ever make up for the way she un-mom-ed me over the past three years, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Take your time,” Thanatos said.
