long.'
He walked down the steps and headed off into the gloom that lay between two columns.
They watched him fade into darkness.
Gene looked at Linda. 'Feel kind of sorry for him.'
'Me, too.'
'Say, woman. You and me have some wedding plans to discuss.'
'Yup. Church or secular?'
'Oh, church. We have that huge chapel upstairs.'
'Great! I'd never figured you for a church-wedding type.'
'Me?' Gene said. 'Why, I'm as pious as they come.'
'Oh, yeah.'
Just then, Cleve Dalton came walking into the crypt.
'Cleve! '
'Halloo!'
After Dalton mounted the stairs he felt the need to sit, and the one intact divan was all there was to sit on, which he did, despite its being a filthy mess.
'Is it all clear upstairs?' Gene asked.
'All clear,' Dalton said. 'It was over pretty quick. Everything just started to fade, and then it all went poof, like that. Nothing left but some pretty smoke.' Dalton sized up the place. 'Looks like someone threw a hell of a party down here.'
'Yup. By the way, Linda and I would like you to be the first to know that we're-'
'There you are, Daiton.'
Lord Peter Thaxton came sprinting up the stairs. 'Well, you look hale and hearty.'
'No problem,' Dalton said. 'Something tells me you found out about the safety-net spell.'
'Firsthand. You must have had a ghastly time of it, though, not knowing.'
'I dunno. It was one of those experiences that you are grateful for afterward and hope never to repeat.'
'Indeed.' Thaxton turned to Gene and Linda. 'And how about you two? What did you do during the brouhaha?'
'Oh, we-' Gene began.
Linda covered his mouth. 'We hid out with Snowclaw.' They looked at each other.
'Snowclaw!' was their duet of dismay.
'Yo!' came a voice from the rear of the chamber. Snowclaw came forth, gnawing on a curious object. It looked like…
'Ohmygawd, a pink bunny leg,' Linda said, making a face. 'I think I'm gonna be sick.'
'Funny thing,' Snowclaw said, climbing the steps. 'I can't even taste this. It's like fluff.'
By the time he reached the top of the stairs all that remained was the yellow spat that had wrapped the foot. Snowclaw tossed it aside.
More people entered the hall: Deena, Barnaby, DuQuesne, Sheila, Kwip, Osmirik, and lots more. Everyone wanted to see what had caused all the ruckus.
But there was more ruckus to come, because at that moment a strange bell-shaped silver craft materialized out of thin air and promptly crashed into the far wall.
'We keep doing this,' Jeremy mumbled as they pulled him from the wreckage.
Miraculously-and this is meant quite literally-all the occupants were only slightly injured. The craft had been outfitted with technological magic, and a protection spell had absorbed most of the shock. (Or was it a force field? No matter.)
'Come on, Dolbert,' Luster said. 'We got to start fixing this blamed thing again.'
Dolbert snickered. Then he yawned. He'd had a restful nap.
Melanie emerged with only bruised knees and a sprained arm.
'Nice little trip.'
'By the way, where are your kids?' Deena asked.
'Safe with my babysitter, away from the castle. Which is where I'm heading, right now. Sometimes this place gets too much for me.'
'Oh, you love it here,' Gene taunted.
'Yeah, I know. I must be crazy.'
'Aren't we all?'
And as far as this narrator has been able to ascertain, they all live there still, quite happily, and will doubtless continue to do so ever after.
