DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror)

it out.

BTW, I think all of you are consistently wrong about everything.

Joe

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You spelled “Killborn” wrong on all of your books.

Jeff

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You smell like cheese.

Joe

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The Jenny/Lanz section is done. Now Randall needs to save her, and quick.

Joe

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American Genocide is off to my agent…it’s draculas time!

Blake

September 12, 2010

I think I’m all right with this…question tho…need to iron out the whole helicopter helping out thing. If the Army is going to blow the place, would they even allow a helicopter to go near a contaminated site. Not saying it can’t happen, we just need to establish how it does.

Blake

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Joe and I have been thinking that the only thing Draculas is missing are Hardy Boy/Nancy Drew-style illustrations. 5 of them, and the scenes we want to do are:

Benny the Clown being attack in the ER over the caption: “Oh no, I’m getting bitten…again!”

Oh God. Is that a…flamingo?

the wheelchair dracula chasing Randall

Oasis getting ready to munch on Grammy Ann and asking for her red candy

Clayton Theel and Shanna, heavily armed, kicking ass and taking names.

The artist, Carl (who did the killer cover) would do these for $XXXX apparently. Any objections, suggestions?

This would be the style:

http://bookshelvesofdoom.blogs.com/.a/6a00d8345169e469e20120a7544a31970b-pi

Blake

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Dunno how I missed the birth scene, Blake. Beautifully done.

Joe

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Thanks. Just finished reading Jenny v. Lanz…truly vile, brother. I must have grimaced at least a dozen times. Self amputation…eeewwww. Great scene. I’m not sure if it should be cut up or presented as one long sequence.

Jeff and Paul - read your new stuff too. bravo. Excellent work. We’re hitting a really nice balance of horror and laughs. I think if we can tease out a little more suspense in the final polish this thing will be firing on all cylinders. Something truly horrific, truly scary, and truly funny. A tall order, but we’re getting there.

Blake

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I like the scene. I think it’s necessary to establish how Benny knows to use alcohol (also rounds out his backstory a little bit). It is jarring tho. I think we’ll have to see how it hangs with the other scenes on a final review.

Blake

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It’s almost 6k words, plus it’s really intense, so I think we should divide the scene up. There’s so much going on at once, readers will want to check in with other characters.

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Still up? I’m almost done with a 1st pass at Shanna’s explanation.

Blake

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Shanna dracula backstory Paul 4.0 is up…still needs a little polishing but it’s getting there. I love how all these draculas myths are rolled into one package that kind of makes sense if you don’t stare at it too hard. Paul, I renamed your new files just to make it clear what’s what in advance of putting everything into the big manuscript documents at the end of the week.

Blake

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Jeff 6.1 — great scene — absurd and terrifying — and smooth segue into Clay vs Randall. I added that Randall spots Clay with a frightened looking woman, since Shanna’s in the next scene. Hope I didn’t throw you a curve by giving Randall a gun. It’s got only 4 shots, but if it messes your plans, I can go back and have him refuse it.

Jenny 1.0 this is one intense piece. In a way it’s already broken up by shifts in POV.

brain defibrillation — resetting Lanz’s thought processes like ECT — very clever.

A couple of quibbles:

Randall was a rock. He was also one of the most reassuring, nurturing people she’d ever known — this doesn’t jibe with his history of drunken rampages — doesn’t sound like a guy she’d divorce. Maybe now that he’s stopped drinking, she realizes he’s once again the guy she fell in love with.

and the Tea Party was populated by morons. — gratuitous and political, no? Definitely has its share of morons, but I’ve got some loyal readers involved in the movement (my Ron Paul contingent) and they’re anything but.

Stacie 4.0 — very moving; the turn at the end is unsettling. (I changed vernex to vernix)

Paul

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Nice. A painless, concise explanation, but is it done?

“He carries the virus that makes the vaccine.”

I hear Clay saying. “Vaccine? You mean like a shot?”

Paul

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Re: draculas illustrations: No objections whatsoever. That sounds like a fantastic idea.

Jeff

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You’re right, Paul, it was political and gratuitous. I thought it spoke to her character. But I’ll cut it. What’s another group of people I can call stupid that won’t annoy fans that Jenny would dislike?

As for the Randall drinking thing, good catch. I think we can compromise. I want Jenny to leave him because he’s not the brightest bulb, and she wants more. That could include him hitting the bars and getting arrested for fighting and drunk and disorderly. But I don’t see him as the type who would ever be violent toward her, even if he has a violent streak.

So we can have Clay arrest him at various bars around town, and have him know Jenny because she kept bailing his dumb ass out. That means I’ll add his drinking problem to Jenny’s list of things she can’t stand about him, and Clay can feel sorry for her that she has had to put up with such a loser.

Joe

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