that’s awesome.
Blake
• • •
How’s this?
I’m assuming Shanna’s being quarantined because she shot off her mouth, revealing she knows too much.
The kids and baby (she has no idea whose it is) would be put in with her because they ARE being quarantined.
I don’t see why the returned-to-human-form Mort can’t appear at the door and take the baby and free Shanna. He’s more than human now (who knows what powers he’s got?), so he could pull this off.
Outside, Shanna notices the army clearing the parking lot, backing away from the hospital. She sees the army helicopter lowering something to the roof. Mort says it’s a huge shaped charge and describes what it will do. (sterilize, etc.)
Shanna runs off in search of Driscoll to stop it but doesn’t get ten feet before the hospital becomes a huge funeral pyre. Mort comforts her and tells Shanna to flee.
We can fiddle with this until everybody’s happy, but at least it will give us a skeleton to clothe.
Paul
• • •
The whole concept of Twilight is that the mopey teenage girl wants the mopey ancient vampire to bite her to change her. I can’t specifically remember if “bite me to stay alive” is in there, but that’s a common resolution in paranormal romance.
Keep in mind that this is not a romantic Lugosi nibble. Randall has bloody fangs that have ripped right through his cheeks. She’s not gonna offer him her neck.
Jeff
• • •
She offered him her arm. But if you guys vote it down, we can kill the scene.
Also, “Ha ha! Jeff saw Twilight!”
Joe
• • •
In the DRACULAS 4.1 I’ve got, she offers him her neck.
That moment (not the whole scene) is total paranormal romance. We could acknowledge that, but if we’re trying for genuine emotion, that’s not the time to be winking at the reader.
Jeff
• • •
It should be her hand or arm. And it probably isn’t the right time to wink at the reader. I’ll take a look during the rewrite.
Joe
• • •
Could Mort somehow be involved with the quarantine? Working for Driscoll somehow? Or is that too far- fetched?
Joe
• • •
Yeah, far-fetched. But if he’s dressed in nice clean scrubs, he could look like he belongs and slip under the radar.
Paul
• • •
I had him do his metamorphosis in the laundry room for that very reason.
Joe
• • •
Okay. I’ll start on it.
Paul
• • •
Okay. I’ll dig in Saturday AM and flip it to Jeff Sunday night.
Paul
• • •
Re: Randall’s Last Stand
Jeff 10.0 is up
• • •
My pass is going to be the “Mad Lib Edit”, where I substitute every noun with “wiener.”
Joe
• • •
That’s the wurst idea I ever hoid!
Paul
• • •
You really mustard that one up.
Joe
• • •
Paul, don’t succumb to his evil!!!
Jeff
• • •
But he’s such a brat!
Paul
• • •
That was rather frank.
Joe
• • •
Blake and I are going to write DRACULAS II by ourselves.
Jeff
• • •
“Blake and I are going to write DRACULAS II by ourselves,” he said, with relish.
Joe
• • •
Except it’s going to be like a Spike Lee joint…DRACULAZ 2, BIOTCH
Blake
• • •
I quit. This had already gone furter than it should.
Paul
• • •
Really? You had a redhot streak going there…
Joe
• • •
Shanna’s last name…I can’t find one. I’ll stick in a placeholder and change it if anyone remembers.
Paul
• • •
I’m pretty sure it was “Wiener.”
Joe
• • •
Goddammit, that’s what I’m putting.
Paul
